Falling in Love with my Subconsciousness
by pUnKyRoCkEr
Summary: Lily Evans has been having odd feelings and weird dreams about James Potter. Now, is she crazy? Or is her subconscious trying to tell her that she might just be falling in love with her fellow Head Boy?
1. Questioning Lily's Sanity

DISCLAMER: I own nothing. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

**Chapter 1:**

**Questioning Lily's Sanity **

"I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK

YEAH

THEM OTHER BOYS DUNNO HOW TO ACT

YEAH

I THINK YOUR SPECIAL WHATS BEHIND YOUR BACK"

"Alice, please. Stop."

"YEAH

SO TURN AROUND AND I'LL PICK UP THE SLACK

YEAH"

"Alice, I'm warning you-"

"DIRTY BAAAAAAAABE

YOU SEE THESE SHACKLES

I'M YOUR SLAAAAAAAAVE"

"ALICE!"

I wake with a start, and by of some oh so fortunate cause, fall off my bed. Lovely. What a great way to start a Monday morning. Curse Alice for interrupting my dream, curse whoever was yelling at Alice. Yes I'm talking to you!

My fellow Gryffindor roommate and best friend Gilda chuckles.

"Fin-a-lly. Took you long enough. This is her like third horribly sung song in ten minutes this morning. I cannot believe it took you that long to wake up."

I try to hide my face as I blushed furiously. I have a habit of not noticing my surroundings when I'm having pleasant dreams.

Fortunately, Gilda is too occupied in looking for her left sock to notice my face.

I get up slowly to give Alice a piece of my mind. Don't get me wrong. I love that girl to bits. Except her singing in the morning. Correction: I don't like her singing at any time. It's horribly off key, and would put a crow to shame. (Hey crows, your finally not the worst singers! Sorry Alice)

Clearing my head, I could finally distinguish the lyrics.

"MAKES ME FEEL THIS WAAAAAAAY

COME HERE GIRL

GO AHEAD BE GONE WITH IT"

Hmmmmmm. Interesting. Not something I recognize. Probably a muggle song. Alice always had a thing for muggle music for some reason. I know, I know. I'm a muggle-born. I should know what she's singing. But I never really had a thing for music.

This has to stop. I can't think with all the noise.

"GO TO THE BACK

GO AHEAD BE GONE WI-"

"Alice!" I open the bathroom door.

"Wha? Lily? Is that you?" Alice stops her _lovely _singing. For now.

Her voice barely reaches me through the noise of the shower and all that steam from the hot water.

"Yes it's me. And I'm not happy. Now, stop the singing, hurry up with the shower, and I'll consider forgiving you for interrupting my dream."I say through gritted teeth.

Wait a minute Lily. Do you really want to go back to that dream? NO! What's happening to me! I shouldn't be feeling this way!

"Oh? And what dream would that be?" she sings.

Oh my goodness, she did not just sing just to annoy me. She did NOT!

Alice. Out. Now." I say dangerously.

"Ok. Ok. Don't get your panties in a twist. I'm coming out."

Her wet arm reaches for her towel. Taking it, she wraps it around her body and starts humming that same song. Her short, spiky hair is plastered to her head and her wide eyes are a little red from all that water that probably got into them.

I sigh. It's just so hard to stay bad at Alice sometimes. She does the whole cute elf thing on purpose. Not fair. Why can't I do that?

"Look Ally, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"Oh it's alright. I was starting to use up all the hot water anyways. Then everyone would've gotten mad at me." She grins.

Still humming that unfamiliar tune, she walks past me to her trunk.

"By the way," she looks at me over her shoulder. "I suggest you take your shower now before the witches wake up." She winks.

Smiling to myself, I get into the shower. Ah, the witches. Or as an inside joke to Gilda, Alice and me, the pair that rhymes with witches. More commonly known as Mary McDonald and Lena Janzernot. They are some of the school's most annoying, and _bitchiest _girls. I swear, if their parents had taught them a thing or two about deserving what you have, they wouldn't have thought that the world revolved around them.

Boy, am I glad to be sharing dormitories with Alice and Gilda too. Otherwise, I might not be able to survive. At least with them, we can laugh about them behind their backs.

Huh. Who knew thinking about your not-so-great roommates would get you to appreciate your friends.

Hmmmmmmmmm. Let's see.

Alice is kind. She listens to your problems. She's the perfect student, always studying. She's not top of the class, but she's not at the bottom either. She's pretty much close to perfect, except for the little singing problem. Her dirty blond hair is always in a short pixie cut and her eyes are deep blue. Her skin is alabaster, and not a freckle in sight. Completely the opposite of me, who has freckles pretty much all over her body. She's pretty petite, and walks with a grace that no one other than herself can accomplish. And I know for a fact that she has a little thing (by little thing I mean huge crush) on Frank Longbottom but she just won't admit it. I mean come on! Is there even a point in denying it when you know you're lying?

And then there's Gilda. Where to start? Let's just say that if Alice and I don't stop her, she could out do all the pranks that the Marauders have done in their Hogwarts career. Yup. She's that good. Like, Alice, she also has a thing for muggle music, but more rock and punk. She's always cracking jokes. Her thick and straight hair is so black it's almost purple, and her eyes are a deep chocolate brown that sparkle when happy and flash like firecrackers when she's in dangerous moods. I've never seen her wear pink clothing. (I think the colour pink reminds her of the witches, queens of pink) she's got this curvy body that makes all the boys drool. Literally. Too bad she's always the one that's hard to get.

While thinking of my friends, I realize I'm using up all the hot water. Quickly, I shut it off, and slip into my towel. I take one look at myself in the mirror and sigh. Why couldn't I ever be a brunette or a blond? At least with that people can't relate your hair to fruit. I know what you're thinking. Oh? Is it carrot head? Oh I wish it was. Unfortunately, my hair isn't just averagely red. It's fiery, tomato red. Or cherry red. Or whatever. And don't even get me started on the perverted nicknames. I'll give you a few so I can just get it over with. Menstrual blood. Popped cherry. There. You happy now? And wipe that smirk of your face.

Oh yeah. That's right. I'm watching you. In fact, I've been watching your every move. In fact-

Wait a minute. Who am I even talking to? AAAAAAAAARGH! I think it would be a good idea right now to question my sanity.

I rush out of the bathroom and see that the bitches- I mean witches have woken up. Wow. Apparently they slept through Alice singing a pervy song. In-ter-es-ting. Wonder how they did that?

I shake my head, and start to get dressed.

Ahhhhhh, the start of term. Very important, as it's officially my first day as Head Girl. No one told me who Head Boy was for some reason. Hmmmmmm. Maybe it's Remus. Always like that boy.

Without realizing it, I now notice that I'm the first one dressed. Probably because I'm so organized. Gilda thinks it's a disease. Bless her; she's still looking for her left sock.

"Uh, Gilda? Don't you think it would be wise to just put on another pair of socks?"

She looks at me blankly, and then smacks her forehead with her hand.

"Oh yeah! Why didn't I think of that? thanks Lily. You just saved me from a half hour lecture from McGonagall. "

I smile.

See? Being a know it all is helpful sometimes. IN YOUR FACES! Wait what? Lily Evans, you have officially lost it. Yes. I just admitted it. There. Happy?

It's been five minutes.

Five minutes and 12 seconds of waiting for Alice and Gilda.

Five minutes 23 seconds

26 seconds

30 Seconds

Alice is ready. She looks normal. I like that. Normal people I mean. Ahhhhhh! Why I am I like this?

6 minutes of waiting for Gilda

6 minutes 43 seconds

45 seconds

50 seconds

Yes, I'm an exceptionally impatient person. Meanwhile, Alice stands patiently as she examines her fingernails.

7 minutes.

7 minutes 10 seconds

14 seconds

FINALLY!

She's ready! I look her up and down. Her blouse isn't buttoned all the way. Her tie is really loose. Did that girl not notice that she's grown taller? That skirt just shows just way too much thigh.

Oh what am I saying? I'm not her mother for heaven's sake! Let her be.

I grab her hand and literally drag her down the staircase.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

"Taking you to breakfast!" I said in a false cheery voice. "we're late." I add in sourly.

"What are you talking about? We're fifteen minutes _early!"_

So? Your point is?

"I think our Lily pad has gone insane." Gilda whispers loudly to Alice.

Yeah. Sure I have.


	2. Laughing Potion

DISCLAMER: I still own nothing.

**Chapter 2**

**Laughing Potion**

My stomach grumbles loudly as we trudge down the stairs. I'm in shock. I can't be that hungry. Gilda and Alice look at me in surprise. They look at each other, and start howling with laughter.

Ok fine. It's a little funny. But they're laughing like there's no tomorrow.

"Why are you laughing? Can't a girl ever be hungry around here?" I ask.

No answer. My _caring _and _kind _friends are still laughing. Huh. I should dock house points for that. 50 points each. Yeah, that'll wipe the smiles off their faces. MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait, that'll put us last for the house cup and it's still not lunch yet.

I'll wait until tomorrow.

AAAARGH! I can't believe them! They're STILL laughing! Well, it can't possibly be because of me, right? Maybe someone slipped laughing potion into their pumpkin juice last night. Yes, that's it.

Finally, I get tired of waiting for them to stop (again, impatient person. Hello!) so this time I grab both of their hands and actually drag them down the stairs.

People are giving us odd looks in the common room. We must be a sight. One embarrassed and hungry red head dragging two laughing 17 year old girls in tow. Hmmmmmm, that does sound a bit odd. Oh well, they're my friends. Embarrassing, but still loving.

See? I'm a good person!

I swing open the portrait hole and drag them once again out into the corridor, down several flights of stairs, and finally into the entrance hall.

Oh for the love of Merlin, would they just STOP? It's driving me insane. Mind you, I kind of already am, so there's not much to do there.

On the way down the Gryffindor table we pass by the Marauders. They look up as we pass. They smirk at each other, as though they knew this was going to happen. Knowing them, they probably did.

Allow me to explain the Marauders. They are a group of the most pranking arrogant boys that Hogwarts has ever seen. Well, except for Remus. He's not that arrogant. He's actually quite nice. We've always been friends, even more since I figured out about his "furry little problem". I, like everyone else, was under the impression that Remus owned a badly behaved rabbit. Anyways, back to the group in general. They prank, they get caught, they get detention, and then they do it all over again. Sheesh, don't they ever learn from their mistakes? And for some reason, they are known as the school's most popular and best looking boys.

Well first in the group is Sirius Black (I'm doing this in alphabetical order). He's got dark hair that flops across his forehead in a handsome way. Not that I like him or anything, but you could easily say that he's the best looking out of the entire group. He's got stormy grey eyes that have quite a strong effect on the witches actually. I've heard them whisper about how swoon worthy his eyes are. I mean, come on. Get a hold of yourselves. I know lots of boys with grey eyes. And I don't see girls swooning all over them. Nope. People only love them because they are the _Marauders. _Simple as that.

Next in line: Remus Lupin. He's usually the mastermind behind their pranks. He's easily the smartest in the group. Not that the rest of them are stupid, but he actually cares for class. He takes notes. And I like that. In a friend way of course. He's got sandy hair that he neither keeps messy or neat. It's just there. His eyes are a bright, sparkling blue. A lot of girls that I know actually like him, and I'm pretty sure he likes one particular girl in Ravenclaw, but he won't let himself close to the opposite sex. He's scared to fall in love, then to have his heart broken when that particular girl finds out about his condition. Sniff sniff. Poor Remus. I hope one day he will find someone that won't care about his being a werewolf and will love him just the same.

Third in line: Peter Pettigrew. There's not much I can really say about him, except for that he basically follows the rest of them around and sort of helps with the pranking. His hair is blonde, like wheat. His eyes are blue, just small and watery.

And last of all: James Potter. I got lots of _nice_ things to say about him. Like, he's the worst of them all. The most arrogant, the most idiotic, the one that most girls fell for. The Quidditch star, and the Transfiguration genius. And I hate him most of them all. He's been trying to ask me out since our first time on the Hogwarts Express when I yelled at him for making fun of Snape. His hair is so messy, I don't think he ever brushes it. The eyes behind round, thin framed glasses are that hazel colour that can never decide whether to be green or brown.

All of them (with the exception of Peter who is very short) have lean, tall builds. Sirius and Potter have a bit more muscle than Remus as they are both Quidditch stars. (Sirius beater, Potter seeker)

OH MY GAWD THEY STILL HAVN'T STOPPED LAUGHING. That's it. If they don't stop by lunch I'm taking them to the hospital wing.

As we sit down, Potter suddenly looks up and catches my eye and quickly looks away. What no cocky smile and wink? Huh. Weird. I notice now that he's gotten taller, and slightly broader. He's not the skinny teenager that used to drive me up the wall anymore. He's now a man with awesome muscles. Yummy. Wait what? What the bloody hell did I just say? Apparently Gilda and Alice aren't the only ones that need the hospital wing.

As they are still laughing, they can't eat. Too bad for them. I eat in a rush, eager to get out of the Great Hall, home of odd looks thrown in our direction.

Well, we still can't leave, because McGonagall is just coming around with timetables. As she reaches us, she raises her eyebrows but doesn't question me. Thankfully. As she hands me my schedule, she says

"Ms. Evans, just so you know, you'll have to arrange a meeting with the Head Boy to organize the night patrols for the prefects. I hope you and Mr. Potter work well together."

What? What did she just say about Potter? She hoped we'll work well together? Uhhhhhhhhh why? Is she planning to partner us up for a major Transfiguration project? She better not, or else…

She catches my confused expression and walks away smiling to herself.

Okay, that woman is up to something, and I assure you, I'll get to the bottom of this before the end of the day.

Which reminds me, I have Transfiguration with her first thing. And apparently, so do my two still laughing friends.

As we reach our desired corridor, I see Potter and his friends come out of a tapestry a little ways down the corridor. I notice that I can't take my eyes off of Potter for some reason. What is wrong with me? This has never happened before! Last year I couldn't stand that face or head or whatever, but now- first the dream then this?

Oh I should probably explain the dream thing now. Welllllllll,

_I was in some sort of meadow, with wild flowers and soft grass. Of to the distance, I could see the waves of the Irish Sea crash against the shore. But it wasn't the exquisite beauty of the meadow that took my breath away. It was the person laying in the tall grass a couple of feet away from me._

_I stepped closer to get a good look at him. He was only wearing trousers, and his hard rock abs glinted in the sun. His arms were folded underneath his head and his eyes were closed, a picture of peace. His untidy black hair, stood up in every direction, and from what I could tell, his eye were surrounded my a thick fringe of gorgeous lashes under his round specs. _

_As I leaned over him, he suddenly opened his eyes, revealing bright hazel eyes. _

_He smiled a breathtaking smile, and reached up one hand and grabbed my right hand. I noticed now that I was wearing a white summer dress, and my hair was loose around my shoulders. As he pulled me closer to him he whispered in my ear_

"_How about a kiss then love?" his voice was all seductive and I felt myself being drawn closer and closer to him…._

At this point, I had woken up and fallen off my bed.

As you could have probably figured out, the gorgeous man in my dream was the one and only James Potter.

Hold on a second. Backup. Rewind. Gorgeous?Now why would I ever think such a thing? I shake my head to clear the weird thoughts.

As I'm shaking my head, I realize that Potter has a very attractive behind. Uhhhhhhhhh did I actually say that? What in the name of Merlin's purple dancing trousers is wrong with me?

I slip through the door of class quietly as I can to make up for the noise that laugher #1 and laugher #2 are making.

Once again, everyone, and I mean _everyone, _is staring at us. McGonagall looks at us oddly.

"Ms. Fuller, Ms. Zabey, would you care telling us what seems so humorous?"

Boy, does she seem pissed at us for interrupting her class or what?

Well, apparently, Ms. Alice Fuller and Ms. Gilda Zabey still can't stop their laughter long enough to answer a simple question.

McGonagall turned her gaze on me. "Ms. Evans?"

"Well, you see professor, they started laughing in the common room this morning and they haven't stopped since." The words all came out in a rush.

"I see. And what made them laugh in the first place?"

"well, you see, er, um, I kinda, ah, well, my stomach growled." I mumbled.

"ahhhh. Well, that isn't that funny."

Regardless, the entire class laughed.

"it seems that your friends have been slipped a laughing potion."

I KNEW IT!

Oops. Did I just say that out loud?

McGonagall waved her wand in a complicated wand movement and Alice and Gilda stopped laughing.

They looked horribly embarrassed.

As we walked to our usual seats, I got sight of the Marauders in a fit of silent laughter.

I should've known it would be them all along.


	3. Spacing out

DISCLAMER: Would you believe me if I told you I STILL own nothing?

A/N: SUMMER! And you know what that means? More time for updating! So here's my plan. I want to hopefully (fingers crossed) finish this story by the end of August. But on the other hand I am a procrastinator….. But don't worry dear readers, I'll try my hardest. Promise!

**Chapter 3:**

**Spacing Out**

It is dinner time, and I am still fuming.

How _dare _they slip my friends laughing potion? Do you know how humiliated they were, not to mention all the looks we were getting the whole time? And if that wasn't enough, they blew up Severus Snape's cauldron full of Bauble Juice potion, and spraying half of it in my face, which by an _unpredicted accident, _caused me to swallow a bit of it in shock. At least, that's what Remus told me at lunch.

And as a result, the effects of it have just worn off because Flitwick _finally _noticed that I wasn't being random just to confuse the teachers and students. And they call themselves _professors? _As far as I'm concerned, professors are educated people. And educated people can usually tell if someone's being stupid on purpose after knowing them for almost 7 years.

And even though I'm fuming, I'm still horribly embarrassed at some of the things I said.

Example:

Kettleburn: "Ms. Evans, would you kindly tell us the best temperature conditions for the Sharp Toothed Mayble?"

Me: "Why yes dear professor. In fact, I will tell you in detail and example of a primary living condition for those lovely Maybles. Actually, the place I'm talking about is a very gorgeous place. I went there with a friend once- lovely place by the way, absolutely gorgeous- oh! And you should have seen the beach! It was magnificent. Anyways, we went there, and you should have seen the boys! Tanned, muscular, and hard rock abs, I tell you- I was swooning! Anyways – "

By this point, most of the class was giving me more-you guessed it- odd looks. Actually Remus was giving me an apologetic look, while Sirius was laughing, and Peter was daydreaming, and Potter, well Potter was can you believe it? He was _blushing. _Who knew his oversized ego even _allowed _him to blush?

Me: "-Anyways, we went up to our hotel room and you should have seen the bed! It was _king sized _dear professor! And we all know what _king sized_ beds are for right dear professor? Eh? Eh? EH?"

At this point the whole class is laughing. Even Remus and Peter who has temporarily abandoned his daydream. But, Potter, if it's possible, is blushing even more. What is wrong with that boy I wonder?

Kettleburn: "MS. EVANS THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!"

Me: "Oh enough isn't right professor. There can never be enough stories to tell. I mean, if there were enough stories, authors wouldn't exist would they? And we know how we all _love_ stories right? Actually, if you didn't know, we love stories. Don't you love st-"

Kettleburn: "MS. EVANS!" Oh dear. A vein is bulging in his forehead.

At this point Alice clamps her hand over my mouth so I wouldn't say anything else.

Kettleburn: (huffing and puffing) "Now, on with the lesson."

And even though that was before lunch and it is dinner time right now, I am still embarrassed.

Of course, my friends, don't care, they just laughed it off. In my opinion, I cannot believe I actually said those things. Must've been a really strong potion.

Oh boy, here comes Potter. Probably wants to embarrass me with something entirely stupid. As usual.

As he approaches me, he seems very-nervous? Anxious? He runs his hand through his always messy hair and a slight blush is seeping onto his cheeks again. He actually looks quite adorable. Hold on. Did I actually say that? Or is someone planting thoughts into my head? Yes, that's it. Cause these thoughts cannot _possibly _be mine!

Oh great. Looks like I'm going to be making an appointment with St. Mungo's soon.

Lost in my own thoughts and someone else's-whoever you are it's not nice to plant thoughts into people's heads! I don't' notice Potter standing _very _close to me.

You know there's a concept that people like to call_ personal space_. But apparently Potter doesn't understand that.

Oh wait. Oh. _Oh._ OH!

I realize that Potter has been repeating my name for the past two minutes, trying to catch my attention while I am clearly spaced out.

He is now very close to me because he thinks I can't hear him.

He is now bent down and is calling me in my ear.

"Lily. Lily. Hello? Anybody home? Helooooooooooooooooooo? Oh Lily Flower?"

He did not just call me by that stupid nickname, he did NOT!

I snap out of it.

"Potter."

"Evans."

I sigh. Our customary greetings are known throughout the school. Wonder what it would be like to address each other by our first names?

Hmmmmmmmmm…

"_James dear."_

"_Lily sweetheart."_

Wow. That actually sounds good. YEAH! We would live in a cottage in the country, and have kids with his hair and my eyes and we would- WHAT? Kids with my eyes and his hair? That would mean we would have to-you know- me- and Potter EWWWWWWWWW! Now that is what I call a disturbing thought.

And a cottage in the country? Not that it doesn't sound nice, but bring Potter into the picture and it turns disgusting.

Nope. It's better with just the last names.

"LILY EVANS!"

This time, I fall off the bench.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny.

Stop laughing. Seriously.

C'mon! what would you do if someone yelled in your ear with the type of volume that would be normally used in a Quidditch match only because the commentary is so loud that you can't hear yourself think, much less hear the person beside you.

"AAAAAAAAARGH!" I yell. "POTTER!"

"Yes?" he laughs this, low, throaty chuckle. Oh. that sounded good. OH SWEET PILLOW FIGHTS! Excuse me while I go maim myself.

Not literally though. Cause that would be kind of er- gruesome. I think. Yes that's it. The word I'm looking for Gruesome.

Oh boy. I now realize that I keep spacing out. Wow. No wonder Potter is yelling in my ear. Funny. My attention can't be _that _important right? All he probably wants to do is attempt to get me to go to Hogsmeade with him. Huh. Like that's ever going to happen.

Distantly, I hear Gilda saying "Let her space out today James. She's gone through a lot in just a few hours. Talk to her tomorrow."

"But McGonagall told me to organize the prefect patrols with her. Head duties and such."

"Does she know?" I think that's Alice's voice. But whatever. My daydreams are much more important.

"I don't think so."

He sighs, and I hear him leave.

Wait a minute. What do I not know?

I snap out of it again, and realize that the Great Hall is empty. Huh. My daydreams last longer than I think they do.

Alice and Gilda are gone. Bless them; I love how they leave me be when I need to be.

Well, back to my daydreams about a Potter free world we go

Just to answer one of my fellow reviewers question…

**LIZIES: **Yeah I'm trying as often as I can. And don't worry! I've got so many ideas these days I don't think I'm going I'm going to get writers block anytime soon. Hehehehehehehe. And I actually don't think it says anywhere in the books when Lily finds out about Lupin's "furry little problem". But, let's pretend that when James saved Snape from being attacked by the Whopping Willow, Lily found out about that little incident so maybe then she figured out Remus's condition.


	4. Attempted Strangle Session

DISCLAMER: I still own nothing people. Wait, I own Gilda! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

A/N: see? I told you people I can update fast. And sorry for the shortness of that last chapter. It was something I really had to add in to the story.

**Chapter 4**

**Attempted Strangle Session **

I trudge upstairs to the common room, with my head swirling. It finally comes to me. Potter wanted to talk to me about Head Duties or something like that. But why? Why would he, of all people want to talk to me about that? Sure, I'm Head Girl, but so? He doesn't need to interfere with my life.

Hmmmmmmmmm, I know! I'll talk about it to my best friends in the whole wide world!

I gleefully rush to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

She raises her eyebrows. "Password?"

"Nimble Puffskin!" I shout.

"Shhhhhhhhh" she warns. "Do you want the whole castle to find out?"

"Why yes I do my dear Fat Lady." I reply cheerfully.

She rolls her eyes and swings forward to reveal the hole in the wall.

I giggle. "It's a hole in the wall. Get it?" I say to myself.

Ok. It's official. There is something seriously wrong with me.

But, either way, I'm still acting like I had a little too much to drink…..

I skip through the common room, looking for my besties.

I spot them sitting on the window seat by one of the windows.

"Hello best friends in the whole wide world!"

They look up and raise their eyebrows.

"Hello to you too Ms. I've-had-a-little-too-much-to-drink-and-is-in-need-of-serious-help-from-a-psycologist-while-still-spacing-out-while-fellow-Head-Boy-tries-to-grab-my-attention."

Wow. I mean. Gilda is usually very sarcastic, but not this much all at once. I wonder what I did.

Wait, light bulb! I will review what she said.

Okay, then. Extracting paragraph from memory, running it through Lilly's brain…

Hold it right there! Spacing out while fellow Head Boy tries to grab my attention? I don't remember any Head Boys trying to grab my attention. The only person I remember doing that was James Potter. And he can't possibly be Head Boy. Could he? No! That's not possible!

I'll check just to make sure. How hard can it be right?

I look around the common room for the Marauders. Because where they are, Potter definitely will be.

I spot them in the best armchairs by the fire, playing Exploding Snap.

I walk up to them, and Sirius looks up. He grins and jumps out of his seat, and charges towards me.

He slings an arm around my neck

"Ah Lily Flower, I've missed you. In fact, so has Prongsie boy. You know, you should really give him a chance. You're breaking his heart you know…."

Once again, I tune out. You know, some people can be just sooooooooooo boring.

"In fact, while you two are being fellow Head Boy and Girl…."

"WHAT!" Now _that _caught my attention.

"Fellow- but-boy-head-Potter-WHY?" is all I can stutter.

He looks at me blankly. "You do know that James is Head Boy right?"

"I DO NOW!" I scream.

"Okay then." He says, massaging the ear that I screamed in.

But, then, it suddenly dawns on me. James Potter is Head Boy. I will have to do night patrols with him. We are partners. Oh no…

"Is she awake yet?" someone familiar whispers.

"You idiot. You're acting like she's been out for more than two minutes."

"Well, she has hasn't she?" the same voice questions.

"Once again, no idiot. It's only been thirty seconds. Thirty three, thirty five…"

I am confused. I don't know where I am, and the only things keeping me company are these two voices. My head is pounding. Like the time I walked into a brick wall.

I open my eyes. I'm in the dormitories, on my four poster bed. Alice and Gilda are leaning over me. They sigh in relief as I look at them.

"What happened?"

"Well, according to Alice, forty-two seconds ago you fainted because you found out who the Head Boy was." Gilda says matter-of-factly.

Head Boy. Hmmmmmm. HEAD BOY! JAMES BLOODY POTTER! I'm going to kill that kid. Absolutely murder him.

I jump out of bed, charging for the door until two hands grab my upper arms and drag me back.

Curse Gilda and her fast reflexes.

"Let me go! I need to kill him! I need to PUNISH HIM!"

Oh Merlin. That sounded a bit dirty didn't it?

Alice raises her eyebrows, as if she read my mind. As for Gilda well, she's trying very hard not to laugh, cause then I'll be able to break free. Wait, if she laughs, I'll get my chance! Yes! Lily, you are a genius!

"Hey Gilda, why did the piece of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum cross the road?"

"Ah, it grew legs?"

"Nope." I answer. "It was stuck to the chicken's foot!"

She rolls her eyes.

Oh yeah. I keep forgetting she thinks all "cross the road" jokes are lame. Personally, I like them. Don't ask me why. I just do.

But, she may not have laughed, but the lameness caused her momentary distraction.

"AHA!"

Too, late, she realizes I have escaped. I wriggle free and dash for the door, and down the staircase. Into the common room we go!

People are staring. (What a shock!) I mean, it's only been like a minute since they've seen me faint, and be charmed up the stairs.

Oh well, I have a more important mission right now.

I charge at the target (James Potter). He looks up from laughing at something at my dangerous expression. At least, I think it's a dangerous expression. Alice told me once it looked like a constipated expression to her. I really hope it doesn't because Potter might see.

What was that about Potter? Does it really matter if he sees me like that? Isn't it better for him to get to know the not so nice and pretty side of me? That way, he won't try to ask me out at any chance he gets

Anyways, I practically jump on him and attempt to strangle him.

"What in the name of- AAAAAARGH! OWW! EVANS s-" he broke off with a strangled choke as I got my hands around his neck.

Well, first they were around his head, and then I wrapped them around his neck to attempt to murder him in front of the entire Gryffindor student body.

In those two seconds that my hands were not on his neck, I notice that his hair is unbelievably soft, probably why he keeps running his hands through it. It made me just want to run my fingers through that mop of hair and pull his face closer to mine and- okay, hold it right there! Get rid of those bad thoughts Evans!

He's finding it very hard to breathe as two strong hands seize me around the waist and pull me off him.

Apparently those hands belong to Sirius.

He swings me around and plops me down on his own armchair. Then he goes back to see if his best mate is okay.

Oh come on. I only had my hands around his neck for about ten seconds, I don't see how that caused any harm.

Uh oh. That can't be good. Potter is not massaging his neck, where my nails had gotten a hold of him, but bent over double holding his crotch. Well, that can't be because of me right?

"Next time Lily," he pants "Try not to kneel on me."

Oops. Looks like my knee put a little too much pressure on his manly parts.

"Sorry." I say meekly. I truly am. I only meant to cut off his air supply. Not damage his chances of having kids.

"It's fine" he's still panting.

"Wow Lily. I had no idea you could cause someone such pain." Sirius says laughing.

"Shut up." I mumble.

"What's that?" he's only pretending to not hear me, the git. Still, his mocking tones are reassuring me in a way. Because if Potter was seriously injured, Black would not be joking about anything at all.

So instead, I just roll my eyes.

By this point, almost everyone is either laughing, or they just don't care enough about the situation to laugh.

"So, might I ask why you tried to kill me and my future kids?"

Well apparently, he's back to normal. And actually, I don't know why I did it. My temper sometimes gets in the way of other important things. Think of something Lily. And quick. AHA!

"Just a warning for what would happen if you fail to follow your Head Duties." I say slyly. And with that, I march out of the portrait hole with no clue to where I'm going.

I hear Sirius give out a low whistle and Potter sighs as the door swings shut behind me.

So, since I don't have that many reviewers, I think I'll answer them…..

DarlingILoveYou- oh thanks! I actually thought that part was a bit rough, but there you go!

OliveTreeHugger- I just love people that encourage me. You're one of them! 3

dolphin231- are you laughing at me or the story? Kidding! :P

Opinionated1234- hehehe why thank you! :D


	5. James Potter, Tears, and Crushes

DISCLAMER: Except for the character of Gilda Zabey, I own nothing else in this story. Happy?

A/N: Ah, I hope you dear readers enjoyed the past chapters, sorry if they're kind of short. It's just that I want to show the different sides of Lily. I think I'll get back to the main plot in this chapter.

**Chapter 5**

**James Potter, Tears, and Crushes**

"Do do dodo do dodo do do dodo dododo" I hum to myself without any idea where I'm going in this castle. Anywhere but the Gryffindor common room. I have to get away from James Potter's incredibly sexy butt. Uh oh….. That can't be good. Why am I thinking such things? At the end of term last year I couldn't be bothered by Potter and his sexy backside. Oh there we go again! He does not have a sexy behind, and that's final!

Extremely angry with myself, I stomp over to the library in need of a book to read.

As the door slams behind me, Madame Pince looks up, and makes a shushing sound with her index finger over her lips as I pass by her.

Oh ewww, I think as I wipe my cheek, say it, don't spray it. Sheesh. Don't people understand all the necessary rules in life?

I skim the bookshelves, looking for a good book to read, or better yet, a book for which to hex all that hot air out of Potter's head. That boy really needs to deflate his head. Same goes for Sirius.

AHA! I have a perfect solution to all these weird thoughts associated with Potter. I ignore him. I pretend he doesn't exist. He's just another boy, like Benjamin Clearwater. He's just there, and besides Head Duties, I won't have anything to do with him.

Ahhhhhh. I amaze myself sometimes with my genius of a brain.

This is no use; I can't find any useful books to read here. I'll be better off I just go to bed and sleep a dreamless sleep. Hopefully.

So with a tired grace I drag myself to the common room again.

It's almost empty when I get there. I had no idea that I've been in the library for so long. The only people there are a couple of fourth years playing exploding snap, and James Potter.

He approaches me, cautiously. He runs his hand through his ever messy hair. It looks kind of cute. Sigh. There is no getting rid of these thoughts is there? Ah well. Might as well accept them. It's not like they're going to cause me to fall in love with him right?

"Lily? Oh Lilllllly, can you hear me love?" He's yelling in my ear again the git. But love? Come on, I'm not his love!

Oh boy, I've been spacing out again haven't I?

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

"Did you want something?" I ask suspiciously.

"Er-yeah. Well, I thought since we're Head Girl and Boy and all, and we have to organize the prefect schedules, I thought we could meet somewhere tomorrow to figure them out?" he sounds nervous. Probably thinks I'm going to try and damage his chances of ever conceiving kids again. Not that I don't want to, I'm just too nice to try and ruin his life.

I eye him suspiciously.

"So, you mean to tell me that you won't be abusing you high position to prank Slytherins and get away with it? Furthermore, you're actually going to be responsible?"

"Er, well," he squirms "not the former, but definitely the latter." He runs his hand through his hair again.

I sigh. Once a Marauder, always a Marauder. There's no end to pranking is there? Ah well, maybe I can convince him stop that. Oh who am I kidding? He'll never stop. It's one of his very sexy personality traits. Oh no….Here we go again. Would these thoughts ever stop?

"Lily?" I realize he's been waiting for my response.

"Okay. Meet me at eight in front of the fire. Don't be late." I say and turn for the girls' staircase.

But before I do, I see him grin from the corner of my eye.

"Goodnight Lily." He whispers.

I'm close enough that I can hear him.

I turn around, startled at his expression. It's happy, but sad at the same time. I notice now something about his eyes. They aren't just hazel as I thought they would be. They're pale gold, with flecks of brown, green and darker green running through them. Wow.

Coming out of my trance, I also whisper "'Night."

I climb the stairs in a daze. As I get to our door, I hear voices and shrieking too. Oh what now?

I open the door to find Lena and Mary screaming at Gilda.

"I know you took it, so stop denying it and just give it back" Lena screams.

"Give mine back too you good for nothing, filthy-"Mary is very red in the face.

"STOP!" I yell. "What is going on here?"

Gilda is fuming. There is steam practically pouring out of her ears as she glares at the Witches. Ah man, if she were giving me that look, I would've run out of there, quick as I could've.

The B-Witches turn around and glare at me.

"Don't get involved Lily if you know what's best for you." Mary says in an attempt to make her voice sound dangerous. Obviously, it's not working, because I'm about as scared of her right now as I am from a blade of grass.

I just roll my eyes and walk to where Alice is cowering behind her bed just as Gilda screams "I didn't take them alright? What am I going to do with two makeup bags, huh? I don't find it cool to slather on so much makeup that I look like a clown!"

Ohhhhhhhh, so this is what all of this is about. Wow. Personally, I think a day without makeup would do them good. They do look like clowns, and no matter how much they think it makes them look hot, it only makes boys steer away from them more. And it's not like I've never tried to tell them that before, because now, if any people outside of the 7th year Gryffindor girls' dormitory actually sees what they look like for real, they will truly go into shock.

"Alice, you okay there?" I bend down and try to talk to her over the noise from what those three are making.

She looks up at me, her deep blue eyes wide. "I hate it when they do that. Can't they ever just sit down and talk about it nicely?"

"Yeah I know. But they're the Witches, and you know Gilda won't take that from them. She doesn't like being talked to like that."

She starts to say something, but is interrupted by a loud bang from the door.

Guess who? Three tries.

If you guessed Sirius Black, then you are a genius! Why can't I be like you?

You, see, we've all long accepted the fact that the Marauders can do anything they want. Including climb up the girl's staircase.

He's got this dangerous look in his stormy grey eyes.

"What's with this noise? Can't you guys just stop blaming the first person you see?" he's glaring at Mary and Lena, who are flustering now. Trying to pat down their hair and smooth out their skirts. But his gaze softens when he looks over at Gilda. She gulps nervously.

Whoa. Gilda Zabey, fearless pranker, is nervous?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm… I wonder…

Sirius has two bags in his hands that look suspiciously like the Witches' makeup bags.

He tosses them over, and they obviously fail to catch them.

He smirks at their attempts to find them on the floor.

Then he looks over at Gilda.

"Next time, they do that, just call me okay? I'll probably have them." There is something about his voice, something different. Something, _soft. _

Gilda nods. She is back to her usual self, but there is something in her dark eyes when she looks at him, something…

OH MERLIN! My best friend fancies Sirius Black and I've never noticed it before! How stupid am I?

And that look in his eyes! He fancies her back! So the real question here is why won't they get together? I mean, isn't the lust hidden in their eyes _obvious_?

Oh wait, stupid Lily. They are sooooo in love that they can't bear to look into each other's eyes and find the oh-so hidden secret lust for each other.

I know! I'll force them to look into each other's eyes! Then, everything will be good and jolly and they'll live happily ever after!

Oh wait; this is Sirius Black we're talking about, the biggest player Hogwarts has ever seen. I actually believe that he's tasted the lips of every girl that's walked through Hogwarts that's in the range of less than two years age difference. Well, except for me and Alice and Gilda and- all….of…the….Gryffindor girls….in his year. Wow. Hmmmmmmmmm. Maybe he only likes girls of different houses. Oh wait, I walked into his snogging session with a Gryffindor sixth year just last night after the feast.

Basically, his how-to-date-girls rule book goes something like this:

1: Rate girl from good looking to pretty to hot and sexy.

2. If girl is simply good looking, snog her and dump her.

3. If girl is pretty, snog her and take her to Hogsmeade once.

4. If girl is hot and sexy, snog her, take her to Hogsmeade, shag her, and then dump her the next day.

I think this is the only rulebook Sirius follows actually.

I mean, if he wasn't such a player, I would've totally used my super matchmaking skills to get them together. But, since I'm such a kind person, I'll talk to him, then decide whether to help or not.

Great idea isn't it? I just love myself sometimes.

First talk to Gilda, and then talk to Sirius. No, wait. Talk to Sirius first, and then talk to Gilda. Oh wait, no…. I can't decide! Oh no, Sirius left already. Okay, I'll play the role of lazy arse and save myself from climbing down the stairs by talking to my best friend first.

Okay Lily, calm down…don't screw this up for your best friend….

Gilda has sunk down on her bed and is hugging her pillow and staring at the canopy of her bed. Merlin, she is so in love with that boy.

I look over at the Witches, who are fixing their hair for bed. What? Who fixes their hair for bed? It's going to be messed up when you wake up anyways. It's not like any boys will be sneaking into the 7th year Gryffindor girls' dormitory anyways. At least, I hope not. Cause seriously dude, that's just disgusting.

I look over to Alice, who is gesturing to me with her eyes to go for it and talk to Gilda. I love that girl so much sometimes.

I sit on Gilda's bed. She looks over at me, and then just goes back to staring at the ceiling.

"Gilda?" I say softly.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?" Oh nice. Now she's got a glazed look in her dark eyes. They're sparking with some sort of energy. Not the type that she gets before pulling something on the Marauders or when she does something to the teachers to stop them from giving her detention. It's really….warm actually.

Ah man, she's fallen deep.

"Gilda. Look at me. How long have you fancied Sirius Black?"

She looks at me, and I see a delicate blush sweeping across her cheeks. "I do not fancy him! You know me better than that Lily!"

"Gilda, your blushing, and I saw the way you look at him. Face it sweetheart, you're madly in love with him."

She bites her lip. "Yeah? Well, so what if I am? It doesn't make any difference does it? He doesn't feel the same way. Heck, even if he did, he would dump me after one snog." There are tears welling up in her eyes now.

"Oh Gilda," Alice walks toward her and hugs her.

I stand helpless as I see my best friend cry into Alice's arms all because of a boy.

Aren't all the endless forms of love fascinating?

For example, there's my love for my parents, which is mostly caring and such.

Then there's Alice, I and Gilda's love for each other, which is like being there for each other, laughing with them, telling secrets, and being a shoulder to cry on.

And there is the whole "true love" idea. The person that you can't possibly live without. You're soul mate, as people like to say.

Personally, friendship love is the best. If it weren't, would Gilda feel comfortable right now using Alice as a handkerchief?

Coming out of my thoughts, I realize something.

Why is Gilda crying over Sirius? He didn't reject her already did he?

Gilda is still crying. "How is it fair," she sobs. "That the one person you fall in deep with is the one that can never love you back? The one that is bound to dump you in a matter of days?"

That triggers something. If she knew that Sirius feels the same way about her. She wouldn't be crying would she?

Ah hold on a sec. This can't be some new crush. She wouldn't be crying if it was.

"How long?" I ask simply.

She raises her head from Alice's shoulder. Her beautiful brown eyes are red, and her long eyelashes are wet with tears. The look on her face says that she knows exactly what I'm talking about.

"Since the end of fifth year. Then, he teased me and made fun of me, and we made jokes together. We were friends Lily, don't you remember? Then, all of a sudden this year, he hasn't been paying me any attention at all! Don't you see? He doesn't want to be friends because he's lost interest in me? Here I was, thinking that this year we could be more than friends, but-what's the point?"

And with this she collapses into her pillow and sobs like there's no tomorrow.

I look over at Alice, who's also on the verge of tears out of sympathy.

"Comfort her," I whisper. "I'm going to have a talk with Sirius."

And with that I left the dormitory so weasel some information from Sirius whatever-his-middle-name-is Black.

A/N: (again) so, a bit more drama in this chapter than I'm used to, but whatever. I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless! I'm pretty sure no one's going to be laughing at this one. (Again drama.)

Did I ever mention I absolutely love all my reviewers?

OliveTreeHugger: uh oh….you must be dangerous then. I like that!

DarlingILoveYou: I actually kind of liked it too, because it shows Lily's dangerous and stupid side at the same time! :D


	6. Operation: Matchmaker

DISCLAMER: I still own nothing okay?

A/N: Beep Beep! By the way, that's my form of greeting. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. And read on! I'll do things differently this time. I'll answer my reviews first, so if you don't want to read them, just scroll down! Just a warning this chapter's got more Sirius/Gilda action more than Lily/James. But still, all your favourite characters are in it!

CimorellixBleachxLoveerx3- Oh I'd love that! The number doesn't matter to me much though. Hehehehe. Do you love the story, or me?

Hpfan- Okay, okay. Please don't cry. I cry when other people cry. So, don't. Don't worry, I'm updating as soon as I can!

Opinionated1234- Technically, u don't see what happens, you read it. Joking, please don't get mad at me. And I can't wait either. You know why? Cause I don't plan anything! I just type it as it come so my head. : P

Wordlover14- I'm updating, I'm updating! Don't hurt me! Oh! Who knew my story is so funny? :D

SecretMarauderette- hey! I was planning on writing that! Thanks anyways, it made me feel more confident that I should carry out my ideas.

Now, on with the story!

**Chapter 6**

**Operation: Matchmaker**

I knew that it was going to take some distractions and some mind games to weasel certain pieces of information, so I thought, why not just use blackmail? If it works on Potter, then it will definitely work on his best friend right?

So, now, all I have to do is get some blackmail information about him.

Oh, my plan sounds so good, it's totally foolproof.

As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I see Potter sitting on one of the armchairs gazing into the now dying fire with his very masculine and yummy chin on his arms. Wait, no, bad Lily. Operation Matchmaker cannot be disturbed by someone else's thoughts. At least, I sincerely hope they're someone else's thoughts.

Oh, my plan is definitely going to succeed now.

"POTTER!" I yell across the common room.

He looks up in surprise.

I practically run across the room to him.

"Quick," I say in a much quieter voice. "I need blackmail information about Sirius."

He looks at me blankly.

"Anytime now," I say in a singsong voice.

"Why?"

"Don't ask Potter! Just tell me if you want to reach your eighteenth birthday!"

He scratches his chin.

"Hmmmmmm, well you could tell him that you know about the DING DONG incident, which is-"

"I don't need to know exactly what it is." I cut him off. "But if I refer to him this way, will he know what I'm talking about?"

"Yes."

"Good."

He stood up, and extracted something silvery from his pocket-an invisibility cloak.

"Well, if you don't mind, I'll be off to the kitchens."

"Oh, okay."

"Oh and Potter?" he turns at the portrait hole.

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

He flashes me a bright smile, and disappears behind the cloak. I see the portrait hole open and close, but no Potter.

Wow. Those teeth are _white _dude. How come I never noticed before?

No time to dwell on such matters Lily, you have a mission to complete.

I run up the stairs to the boy's dormitory. I walk up to the one labeled "7th year boys."

I throw open the door, and immediately take a step back.

It looks like a tornado hit it. Cloths are scattered everywhere. Books, quills, and smashed jars of ink lye at the foot of beds, on bedside tables and in windowsills. Is that half a jar of green slime? I take a closer look. Oh ewww. It's a jar of strawberry jam gone back. It's only the first day back! How could someone turn a room so _filthy _in just one day? And is that- yes it is! It's a piece of parchment with only the title of the potions essay that is due tomorrow first thing. I'd already finished mine during dinner. Ah well, their loss I guess.

Someone is snoring very loudly. Probably Sirius. What does Gilda see in him anyways? Sheesh. How do the other boys sleep with that noise?

Now let's see. The empty bed over there must belong to James. Is that a framed picture of me on his bedside table? Oh Merlin. That boy is in deep.

That bed with the sandy hair peeking out of the covers must be Remus, who….the snoring seems to be coming from. Wow. How can so much noise come from someone so quiet? Who would've guessed? Not me definitely.

The pale boy with the chestnut hair must be Frank Longbottom, so that leaves the bed farthest from me to be Sirius'. Okay. So I'll just wake him up then talk him into coming into the common room with me, then talk to him. Okay. You can do this Lily.

I yank back the covers to reveal-empty bed sheets.

Freaky, stupid, idiot, prick! Where in the world would he be in this late hour?

Oh wait. Probably in the kitchens for a midnight snack with Potter.

Sigh. Guess I'll have to do this tomorrow then. Joy.

Tip toeing so that I don't wake anyone up, I leave the dormitory for the girls'.

I pause outside the door. Quiet. Gilda must be asleep or must've just stopped. I open the door. It's dark, and quiet.

I approach my bed to get ready for bed. But Alice's bed, it's not unmade. Alice is sitting on her bed; her blonde hair looks white in the moonlight.

"I'm worried about her Lily." She says in a whisper, gesturing to Gilda's bed.

"I know."

"I mean, I- I've been observing Sirius for a while, and I'm pretty sure he likes her as more than friends. And I know your trying to do all you can, but- I'm afraid that he'll drop her like every other girl he's dated. And Gilda- I think she's in love with him Lily. And even if he likes her, what are the chances that he feels the same way about her? I don't think I can stand it if her heart breaks like that. You know what I mean?"

"I know. I feel the same way. That's why I'm trying to talk to Sirius before I try to get them together, just to make sure that he feels more than he's ever felt for any other girl." I say.

"Okay then, goodnight Lily."

"G'night Alice." I yawn. "Sleep tight."

She giggles. "Don't let the bed bugs bite."

I giggle too. "Sweet dreams."

_I was in a swirl of colours. Colours of dancers, in fact. The cold thread in a girl's gown, the green mask of her dancing partner. Tapestries hung from the wall. Hunting scenes, court scenes, and magical scenes._

_The floor was of solid marble, and banners of every colour hung from the high ceiling, the only interruption being the crystal chandelier over our heads._

_Stars shone through the huge French doors off to the side, revealing a balcony where more people were dancing._

_The walls were covered in that fancy gold wallpaper that only exists in ballrooms._

_Ballrooms._

_Dancing._

_Masks._

_We were at a masquerade._

_I now realize why everything is spinning. I'm in the arms of a tall man, dressed sharp with a purple mask on to match his bowtie. His skin is pretty fair, but flushed at the cheeks from excitement. His raven hair reminds me of something, but I can't quite put my finger on it._

_He smiles at me, and I can't help but grin back. There is something about this man; I have to know who he is. He is such a good dancer._

_I look down at myself. I'm wearing an emerald green ball gown, and a green mask to match. My red hair is loose, going past my shoulders._

_I look up at him, and raise my arms from his neck to the edges of his mask. I have to know who he is._

_He doesn't object. I remove the mask to reveal the brightest hazel eyes I've ever seen._

_James Potter._

_He-_

"CAUSE THERE A'INT NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH,

A'INT NO RIVER WIDE ENOUGH,

A'INT NO VALLEY LOW ENOUGH,

TO KEEP ME FROM GETTING TO YOU BABE!"

"Ah Alice," I groan, rolling out of my bed. "Not again." my dream. My dream. I so wanted to know how it ended.

Someone snorts.

"I don't know how you can even hang out with that girl. She's so _annoying._"

Oh no you didn't. Mary McDonald, you did not just insult my best friend in that way. You are GOING TO PAY!

First, I will tell you off for being a rude human by torturing people out of jealousy. Then, I will tell you what a disgrace you are to the wizarding population. Then, I will pick out all of your molars one by one, spelling out the word "whore" on your forehead with a permanent sticking charm that I only I can take off. Then, after you've being humiliated enough, I will feed you boiling potion, causing you to have unclear and blemished skin. I will then steal all of your best cloths and rip them up. After that, I will_ laugh_ in your face, telling you that you cause your own miserable life. MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oops. Got a bit carried away there. Did I ever mention I have a short temper when comes to Mary and Lena? Yeah. Alice thinks this one is a disease. That I don't lose control when I'm tutoring "ickle firsties." As Gilda likes to put it, but I can't stand the fifth word in a row that comes out of the Witches mouths in a row. Gilda, fortunately, totally agrees with me. Gosh, I love that girl so much sometimes. Speaking of which, where is that girl?

Hmmmmmm, she's still asleep. She's gonna make us late again. We were _not _fifteen minutes early, okay? It was an exaggeration okay? Got that…..okay fine. Maybe we were a little bit early. But hey, better safe than sorry right? Or better early than late. Whatever.

I gently shake her.

"Gilda. Wake up. You won't have any time to shower if you don't wake up in the next thirty seconds. Gill. C'mon. Wake up."

She groans.

"Gill. Hurry up. Wakey, wackey, eggs and bacey."

She growls.

"Gilda Zabey, if you don't wake up this instant, I'm taking away house points and I'll give you detention with Filch."

She jerks up and glares at me.

"You wouldn't" she narrows her eyes in that scary way of hers.

"No, I wouldn't." I agree. "That was just to wake you up. Now that you are, up up up. And get Alice to get out of the shower, or else she won't stop singing."

She sighs tiredly, and gets out of bed.

I examine her.

She's got purple bags under her normally beautiful eyes, and her dark hair is messed up, all results of a sleepless night tossing and turning over something, or someone I should say.

She grabs her towel, and charges into the bathroom to deal with Alice. I don't know what she said to her, but a moment later Alice emerges from the bathroom wrapped in a towel looking very upset about something. Uh oh. Gilda can be pretty mean when she wants to be.

"Alice, what did Gilda say to you?"

"Hmmm? Nothing really. She just asked if I was done with the shampoo and my morning singing session because she needs the soap badly."

"But you seem really upset about something."

"Well, yeah because she still seemed so upset over you know," she mouthed Sirius' name. "Plus, she looked like she didn't sleep a wink last night, even though she was asleep before you came in."

She looks genuinely worried about her.

"Yeah, I think she woke up around three or so from like, a dream or something, then I'm guessing she was tossing and turning and stuff and probably fell back to sleep an hour ago or so." Sometimes I amaze myself with my psychologist's skills. Maybe I should becomes one… (Shudder) okay NO. I will not spend my life listening to people's problems, and thus, causing me depression.

Alice nods and gives me a look.

Not just any look, but _the_ look. The looks that says, stop talking because subject of conversation has just entered the room.

Sure enough, Gilda was just stepping out of the bathroom, oblivious to our quiet conversation.

"C'mon guys. Don't you want to eat breakfast?" I call. I am at the bottom of the marble staircase, while the other two are still at the top.

"Well, I do," Alice answers. "But apparently our friend Gilda doesn't" dragging Gilda by the hand.

"What's the point of living if there is no love in life?" Gilda mutters to herself.

Alice and I share a look. We need to fix this. And quick.

As we sit down, the one and only Marauders come by and slip onto the benches beside us.

"Good morning ladies." Obviously Potter remembered his manners.

The other three grin. Sirius gasps.

"Oh no! I forgot to greet McGonagall!"

Then. Without warning,

"Good morning Minnie! You're looking splendid this morning. I'd ask you out to dinner, but obviously Dumbledore has you pretty occupied" he shouts to the entire great hall.

At this, the entire school laughs.

"SIRIUS BLACK!"

If it's possible, the entire school laughs even harder, except for a certain black haired girl….

Sirius grins cheekily, and resumes eating his breakfast.

Gilda has this look on her face. Then, without warning, she stands up and leaves the Great Hall at a run.

Remus looks up from his scrambled eggs.

"Did something happen that I missed?" he questions. "Guys? Did you see something happening?"

We all shake our heads, but of course, only me and Alice know partly what's going on.

I'm guessing she couldn't stand that Sirius was sitting so close to her, after crying over him last night.

Now is the time to put my matchmaking skills to action.

I stand up.

"Sirius, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Uh, sure."

I wait patiently for him to stand up.

"Ummmm, alone?" hoping he gets the point.

"Oh ok."

He follows me out into the Entrance Hall.

I turn around and stop at the foot of the stairs.

"Look Sirius. Just answer my question truthfully. Do you have deep feelings for Gilda or not?"

He blushes. "What makes you think that?"

"Just answer the question, because I'm telling you, I know about the DING DONG incident."

He gulps and turns white.

"Sirius. You're the reason she ran out of the hall."

"What? Why?"

"Because, stupid, she can't stand sitting next to you when she knows that she really really really likes you and might even love you!"

He brightens instantly. "Really?"

"Yes really!"

"Then why doesn't she just tell me?"

"Allow me to explain. She likes you very badly. Okay? Got that? She's got a feeling that you might feel the same way about her, but she's afraid idiot! She's afraid of the fact that you're the biggest player in the school! She's afraid that even if you do get together, you'll dump her in two days in favor of a bigger fish just like you always do!"

His eyes are wide with shock.

"But- that's impossible. She's more than every other girl Lily. She's-she's everything. She would be the first person I would run off to with my problems if the Marauders weren't there."

"And do you feel the same way?"

"HELL YES!"

"Well then, Mr. Sirius love my body Black; go after the girl of your dreams."

He grins, and then in one quick movement, hugs me fiercely, almost choking me.

"Thanks Lilykins!" he yells as he dashes up the stairs.

I smile as I shake my head, then go to get Alice.

As I sit back down in my seat, Peter asks "What was all of that about?"

I sigh, and then repeat the entire story to the Marauders, from the moment I entered our dorm last night, to when Sirius runs up the stairs.

By this point, Potter is clutching his sides, practically choking from laughing so hard. He looks really cute like that. No. bad thoughts. Come back later. No wait. NEVER come back. Please. I'm asking you nicely and-WHO AM I EVEN TALKING TO! Bad Lily, Crazy Lily.

Anyways, Remus, was smiling while shaking his head, the same reaction as me.

Peter is sitting there shocked mouthing the word "wow" over and over.

And Alice, she's grinning like a madwoman.

"Well, should we try and find them before we're all late for transfiguration? I bet McGonagall is pissed off already at Sirius." James suggests.

GAH! Now even my thoughts are calling him by his first name. Next thing you know, I say it out loud. Then, everything will change. Things are great just as they are. Sticking to surnames is the best. Potter, Potter, POTTER! Remember that, brain. I know you're in there somewhere.

In my daze, I have just noticed that everyone, even myself, have agreed to Ja-Potter's idea, and we are now proceeding down the Charms corridor.

We round a corner, and what do we see?

Yes, we see Gilda and Sirius snogging their faces off at the end of the hall.

Gilda's right hand is tangled in Sirius's hair, while the other one is resting on his chest, while one of Sirius's hands is in Gilda's hair, and the other one is resting on her left hip.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, aren't they sweet? They have my matchmaking skills to thank.

As we step back around the corner, I whisper "Operation: Matchmaker successfully completed."

We all laugh about it on the way to Transfiguration, leaving those two behind, because hey, haven't you ever heard the saying 'let the lovebirds be'?


	7. Transfiguration

DISCLAMER: sigh. J.K Rowling owns this playground, and I'm just playing in it.

A/N: I'm truly very sorry for not updating sooner. We went on vacation to Quebec. (You know some people there actually REFUSE to speak English even if they know it?) So, don't hurt me. Please. I'm begging you. (Cowers behind coffee table).

So, here it is,

**Chapter 7**

**Transfiguration**

We all walk into McGonagall's classroom just nano-seconds before the bell rang.

As Alice and me make our way down our usual aisle, Alice trips over her own feet, (her OWN feet people, not some rude Slytherins' foot, but her OWN.) causing her to go flying into whose lap?

You have three seconds to guess.

Three.

Two.

One.

Done.

Why, it was Frank Longbottom of course! Isn't fate amazing sometimes? Well, anyways, as she lands on his lap, her back fails to say upright causing her to almost fall in the opposite direction from where she came from. Almost. She would've actually, but Frank puts one hand on the back on her neck and the other at her back to stop her from hitting her head on the floor. Thousand year old stone floors are not a fun place to hit your head on if you're wondering.

As he pulls her up, their eyes lock for a moment before Alice looks away, her alabaster skin turning a lovely red.

"S-s-sorry. I didn't mean to trip li-like that." she stutters as she picks herself off of Frank's lap.

"No, it's fine." AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! He's blushing too!

Aren't they sweet? Oh hell, I sound like some old crackpot lady who lives with her 57 cats and coos as her kittens make love. Shudder. I don't think that's something I want to ever experience.

I look over at Benjamin Clearwater, who's shaking his head and smiling at the same time, but other than him and me, the trip and fall scene went unnoticed.

Wow.

People are so unobservant sometimes. I was expecting half the class to notice at least.

But, it looks like they are all occupied in their own conversations.

It looks like our previous years' seats are filled with two Ravenclaw boys, so the two seats closest are next to each other, but they're between Marilyn Fizmore and James Potter. Obviously, I make my way to sit next to Marilyn,(she's very nice, always liked that girl) but Alice, the sneaky little mouse she is, rushed forward and had her butt on the seat before I could take another step. I glared. She grinned.

So, almost forcing myself to do it, I sat down in the chair right next to bloody Potter.

He looked up, and smiled. Not the usual cocky 'I'm so amazing' smile. Genuine. Huh. Is that a dimple I see on his left side cheek? And it's only on the left side. I've never seen it before. Maybe he only gets it when he smiles like that. Oh my…..it's kind of cute isn't it? NO NO NO! It's not under any circumstances cute. The word cute will never be associated with the names James and Potter in the same sentence! NEVER! EVER! Do you hear me? NE-VER!

I think I need to visit Madame Pomfrey. I internally shudder.

But I can't help myself; I smirk in response, and then turn my head to the front as McGonagall enters the room.

She closes the door, and approaches the front of the classroom.

"Yesterday, you all proved that you have forgotten almost everything I taught last year." She looks over the rim of her squared spectacles to the direction of the Marauders.

"So, today we will focus on human transfiguration, reviewing the basic forms. Hair colour changes, facial features, and such. Tomorrow will be focused on human to animal transfigurations."

"Well, what you are waiting for? Get to it!" She barks.

Everyone scrambles to find themselves a partner.

Remus, who is sitting on the other side of James, looks over at him, who nods in response. (Peter failed to get an O.W.L in Transfiguration).

I sigh with relief.

I did NOT want to be partners with a Transfiguration genius, while I myself struggle to keep an E in it while everything else is an O. that boy does not need an excuse to make his overly blown up head any bigger than it already is.

And Marilyn has partnered up with one of her Hufflepuff friends, so Alice is forced to partner with me unless she wants some slimy Slytherins as partners.

HA!

I will make her pay!

The perfect plan, since I suck so bad at this, and the whole school knows it, I can "accidentally" make one of the spells go wrong causing her to have permanently foot long nose hairs.

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"Lily, Lily, LILY!"

I snap out of it as Alice calls my name for the third time.

"What?"

"Do you want to be my partner or not? Cause if you don't, Mr. Mulciber of Slytherin is always available."

I look over at the brown haired giant, who was glaring at me while mouthing the _mudblood_ over and over again.

Gulp.

"No, no, I think I'll take you." I say to Alice. Even if she did force me to sit next to Potter, I still prefer her over Mulciber.

"Good." Her grin is back.

Just then, the door opens and Gilda and Sirius walk in, with both their lips swollen a little and their hair messed up, and their cheeks both flaming with colour as everyone's head turn towards them.

Mr. Black, Ms. Zabey, how kind of you to join us." McGonagall's cool voice speaks up over the silence of interruption.

They both blush harder, and hurry to their seats, which are conveniently in front of ours.

We Alice, me and James, OH DANG IT! Not again! It's Potter Lily! Potter, POTTER! And Remus, we all crack smirks at them, and they know. They know that we know what they've been doing up until now.

They roll their eyes and smile, relieved that we approve of them being together.

"Ah, isn't it splendid Pady? We're experimenting with basic human transfiguration again. Gilda, pray be his partner and turn him into the ugliest creature we've all ever seen. It will do every one loads of good." Ja-Potter is grinning like some madman, waiting with an axe behind a tree ready to slice off the head of the first innocent person who passes by.

Sirius merely glares, while Gilda sticks her tongue out at Jam-Potter and says, "No, I prefer the way he looks now." And she kisses his cheek.

Sirius grins like a happy little puppy, and grins slyly at J-Potter. "See?"

Potter sighs, and Gilda, just to prove Sirius's point grabs his face and kisses him square on the lips.

"Oh EW! Guys, really? Really? Is that really necessary? I just ate breakfast!"

Finally they break apart and start to change each others' hair colour.

I turn to Alice, and tell her solemnly. "I trust you Alice. Don't abuse that trust by leaving me permanently damaged. Got that?" she nods. She's just as bad in Transfiguration as I am.

"You go first Lil."

I wave my wand and attempt the charm to make her hair look like mine.

HA! Successful is my middle name!

Alice's blond, spiky hair doesn't exist anymore. In its place are long deep red locks reaching past her shoulders.

She takes a strand from her face and observes it. "My turn." She giggles.

She waves her wand in the same motion, and my red hair is gone. YIPPEE! My hair is now in a short, pixie cut, and blonde.

We glance at each other, and start to giggle uncontrollably.

Heads turn in our direction, and soon Gilda's Sirius's and Remus's laughter joins ours.

"Seriously guys," Sirius manages to say between shouts of laughter. "Turn each other back before we all die of laughter. Besides, I think Prongsie over there truly does prefer Lily a red head."

Sure enough, there is a shocking expression on his face. Almost, upset and in shock at the same time.

And before I can say anything, Alice reverses her spell just as Remus waves his wand and turns Potter's messy mop of hair into a shocking shade of pink.

Now it's our turn to laugh. But not because Ja- oh not again. POTTER'S hair is pink, but because he doesn't seem to realize what Remus has done to him.

So, he's just standing there with a perplexed expression on his face, probably wondering what's going on.

So I take the opportunity to change Alice's hair back too.

"Okay Sirius. Really. What did Remus do to me?"

But Sirius, never being a serious friend, just shakes his head as he clutches his side from laughing so hard.

Just then McGonagall walks up to us to see what all the commotion is about.

"Ah Mr. Lupin. Next time please refrain from using that colour choice on Mr. Potter's head. Pink doesn't seem to be his colour."

"WHAT! REMUS JOHN LUPIN! DID YOU TURN MY HAIR PINK?"

If it's possible, it makes us laugh even harder.

So hard in fact that Alice carelessly waves her wand, causing an impressive red handle bar mustache to erupt from my upper lip and jaw area.

OH. MY. MERLIN. She did not just do that to me.

Even McGonagall's smiling.

"Wow! You really are a natural red head!"

Alice, when I get my hands on you….

We came out of the Transfiguration forty-five minutes later in high spirits.

Other than the mustache accident, things were pretty fun after that.

Especially when Remus refused to turn J-Potter's hair back to normal and he had to do it himself, saying the wrong spell, and causing his pink hair to be streaked with purple highlights.

Oh was I ever disappointed when his hair was back to normal.

Potions was very uneventful, if you don't count Sirius exploding his cauldron that is. It was a good thing we weren't brewing some deadly poison, otherwise we might've had to deal with Gilda's meltdown much sooner than we wanted to. No, it was only laughing potion, and remembering what happened so I decided to be nasty.

"Hey Sirius, remember pink hair and handle bar mustache?"

Almost at once, he started laughing.

And he couldn't stop.

It's good to be evil sometimes.

Slughorn didn't seem to notice, and we had a free period after that, so no other teachers bothered or even saw for that matter, his problem.

Unfortunately, the potion wore off before lunch so that was the end of my little fun.

A/N: (again) just a short little chapter that I had to add in…

Opinionated1234: You're totally right! I don't know what my story is! I do know how it ends though…:)

hpfan: I didn't delete chapter 6…it's still there! :D


	8. Head Duties

DISCLAMER: How many times must we go through this? I OWN NOTHING!

A/N: I hope it hasn't been too long since my last update…ah well, here it is!

**Chapter 8**

**Head Duties**

Right now, at this particular moment, AT THIS MOMENT! I am sitting on my bed, trying to complete a particularly gruesome essay for Transfiguration. (Explain in detail the reasons for Human hello? How the hell am I supposed to know that? Tell that to whoever invented it!)

Just then, a ray of the setting sun glows through the west window, throwing red lines adross the parchment, distracting me, when I realize how late I am.

I take a glance at my watch. 8:14.

"SHIT!" I shout.

Alice looks up. "Is something the matter Lily?" besides us, the dormitory is empty, as Gilda is off somewhere with Sirius and are probably snogging each other's faces off and other stuff….oh my…..MENTAL IMAGES!

Now, where were we before we were rudely interrupted by my imagination? Oh yes…..

And the B-Witches are off somewhere….oh gods I hope whatever they're doing doesn't resemble anything Sirius and Gilda are probably doing right now….ew…..EVEN WORSE MENTAL IMAGES!

I scramble up, trying to gather some parchment and a quill as I tell Alice, "I was supposed to meet Potter fourteen minutes ago!"

Alice raises an eyebrow and smirks. (I swear Gilda taught her to do that) "Ah, so you finally discovered your undying love for him and are off to snog each other off the Astronomy tower right?"

"HELL NO! We have to organize the prefect patrols, and I told him I'll meet him in front of the fire at eight and it's-8:15! Besides, the Astronomy Tower is probably occupied with Gilda and Sirius."

"Eager aren't we? You know the fire is quite a romantic spot to meet. If the common room weren't so crowded it could serve the exact same purpose as the Astronomy Tower but with higher temperature conditions."

"Oh shut up Alice!" I yell as I run down the stair case to the fire. I'm in too much of a hurry to bother arguing with her, and now she probably thinks that I'm going to jump Ja-Potter in front of the fire.

EW!

I run across the carpet, running into people as I go.

There's Potter sitting with his back to me, facing the fire and sitting cross legged, twiddling his thumbs. The top two buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned and his tie rides loose around his neck. A picture of ease.

"Sorry I'm late Potter. I lost track of time and then Alice….." I say as I slide on the ground next to him.

He looks up and smiles. "Naw its fine. I know what it's like."

"Great." I can't help but smile back.

He seems so different from last year. Not just physically, but he seems more…mature?

Sure, he's grown a lot; he's now probably over 6 feet, while I still stand at 5 feet 4''. All those years of Quidditch have now shown, he's no longer the scrawny eleven year old boy I met on the Hogwarts Express six years ago, but now, he's, a lean and muscled…man. Wow. And surprisingly, it's hard to admit to myself, but, I kind of….like it.

What's wrong with me?

As for more mature, he still pranks, as the Slytherins today walked around with signs on their backs saying things like 'Kick me' or 'I'm a dork' or 'Kiss me McGonagall' or 'McGonagall, drop Dumbledore and meet me in the broom closet across the charms classroom' and in Snape's case, (yes, I call him Snape as he is no longer my friend and hasn't been for over a year) 'I'm a greasy-haired man-whore but I settle on shagging frogs because no human is willing' but, he's not as loud as he used to be, and a little calmer, as if chocolate doesn't have the same effect on him anymore. (Either that or Remus has found a better hiding place for all his chocolate.) And….his head doesn't seem to be quite as big. He really deflated his arrogance it seems.

"Lily? Lillllllllyyyyyy? Are you there? Helllooooooooo?"

Oh dear. I've been off in the land of daydreams again haven't I?

I shake my head. "Sorry what?"

He grins and shakes his head. Oh! There's that left side only dimple again! "I was saying, are we going to pair up the partners or not? Because I told McGonagall we would have them ready by tomorrow."

"Oh, right. Yes. Okay, so, who are the prefects this year?"

"Er- well, I know the seventh years and sixth years. From Hufflepuff it was Marilyn Fizmore, and Charles McKinnon, and Ravenclaw was- Benjamin Clearwater and Sarah Lovlangel, and Gryffindor is just Remus as your Head Girl, and Slytherin was Lucius Malfoy and Narcissia Black….." His face darkened as he said this, she was another of Sirius's cousins.

"Okay, go on." I say as I jot all the names down. He's got surprisingly good memory for someone who doesn't give a damn about Prefects or school rules. Or does he…

"And the sixth years would be Andromeda Black and Teddy Tonks from Ravenclaw and-"

"What?" I say. "Andromeda, that really nice girl in Ravenclaw is a Black?"

"Yes, didn't you know that?"

"No, is she Sirius's cousin?"

"Duh, how many Black Families do we know?"

"But," I pause. "I thought you said that Sirius was the first in his family to not be in Slytherin."

"Yes. He was the first. Andromeda's a year younger than us. She got sorted into Ravenclaw. You would not believe how angry her sisters were at her. They haven't spoken to her since she got sorted. As far as they're concerned she's no sister of theirs."

"So, do, she and Sirius get along?" I couldn't help but feel really sorry for her.

He laughs. "Yup. They only have each other. Andromeda's parents are quite like Sirius's mum. They want nothing to do with her and will probably kick her out as soon as she can deal with life herself, just like Sirius."

I nod. "So, who else is there?" I knew that Sirius's parents had disowned him last year and he went to live with the Potters who so generously accepted him as their own son.

"Ah, from Gryffindor there are Marlene Winnby, and Kevin Richard. And from Hufflepuff it's Olga Smith and Michael Lidow. And Slytherin its Mayble Quinkon and Russell Riley. And Ravenclaw's are Leo Decker and Lucy Devon."

"Okay and I'm guessing you have no idea who the fifth years are?"

"No idea. They're so tiny."

"Ah, you were a fifth year two years ago, and if they're tiny, then what are the first years? Underdeveloped midgets?"

He looks at me, then bursts out laughing and topples of the floor. I can feel him shaking the ground underneath me.

"Yes." He gasps out between fits of laughter. "That's exactly what they are. Underdeveloped midgets, oh gods, why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you have absolutely no creativity."

"YES I DO! Why do you think all our pranks have been such hits?" he argues.

"Because Remus and Sirius were always involved."

He fakes glaring. "GAH! You can be pretty mean when you want to."

I smirk. "Of course."

I push the parchment toward him. "Now, you write down the names of the fifth year prefects."

He takes it holds the quill, poised and ready, and looks up at me from underneath his eyelashes. Oh my….

"Lily?"

I shake my head to get back to reality.

"From Gryffindor its Abby Halen, and Christopher Mayn. And from Ravenclaw it's Helen Dasin and Marcel Sisory. And from Hufflepuff it's Adelle Amary, and Max Richmond. And from Slytherin it's Kristy Ingeid and John Little."

"Okey-dokey. Now what?"

"We partner them up with one person, then after that put them in timetable for night patrols starting at 9:30 and ending at-"

"12:00" he finishes for me.

"My, my, Potter, you really have been doing your homework." I say with a surprised look on my face.

He grins sheepishly.

"Okay, so let's put Andromeda with Teddy, he's got a huge crush on her and she'll get to know him better, he really is a great chap."

"Okay, let's put Abby and John."

"No way, a Slytherin and a Gryffindor together? Plus, Abby's muggleborn so that won't end too nicely."

"Oh yeah….."

"So Abby with Max and Helen with John."

"Ugh no. let's just put the Slytherins together so everyone stays happy."

"Okay, so Helen with Marcel and that leaves Adelle to be with Christopher and Kristy with John."

"Yup."

"Are you writing all this down?"

"Yup."

"You better be."

"I am." He pushes the parchment in front of me. "See?"

I nod.

"Okay, so sixth years."

"Just put Quinkon and Riley so they don't hex anybody else."

"Sure. Why is it that all the houses get along with each other, except for the Slytherins?"

"'Cause they're all gits that's why."

I sigh.

"Leo and Lucy?"

"Oh HELL NO! Those two will spend most of the time in broom closets themselves!"

"Why?"

"Lily, where have you been? They've been dating since last year! They'll be snogging each other's faces off the whole time!"

Ah.

"Leo and Lucy? I thought they were twins!"

"With different last names?"

"They could've been from different fathers….."

"But twins? Wow. What a cheating two-timer mother they have."

"Well, they just look so much alike. Blonde hair, brown eyes…"

"So? Me and Sirius are both Quidditch players, we have dark hair, we're both tall, and we're not twins."

"Oh yeah."

He sighs. "Lily, I thought YOU were supposed to be the smart one." He says in a teasing voice.

"Ah, I guess I can't be perfect in everything." I fake sigh.

He grins.

"Okay then, so Leo and Marlene and Michael with Lucy. How does that sound?" I say.

"Perfect. There will be no snogging involved."

I laugh. This was funner than I expected it to be.

"So that leaves Kevin and Olga."

"So now it's just the seventh years left."

"Okay just put Black and Malfoy together. They deserve each other. They're both cruel, and vile, and disgusting and- yeah."

I can't help but smile.

"Okay then, Sarah and Benjamin?"

"Ew! Beji's a nice guy, and Sarah's a slut. Don't pair them up, you'll ruin Benji."

"Okay, so Sarah and Charles, and Benjamin and Marilyn."

"So that leaves me, you and Remus with alternating patrols." He scratches his head in confusion. "How do we do that?"

"Easy." I take out my wand, and tap it twice on the parchment.

The names are sucked into a timetable that has conjured up out of nowhere with days on the columns, and times on the rows. The partners appear in the rows and such was the magic of the charm that it couldn't interfere with anybody's schedules. They were all at a time that they were free. It had even alternated me, Remus, and Potter's patrols perfectly.

"Cool." Ja-Potter holds it up close. "It doesn't mess with my Quidditch practices!"

"That was the idea" I smile. "If you notice it also never interferes with the full moon."

He gasps. "You know?"

"Yes. I've known about Remus since first year. I mean, he was always '_sick'_ on the full moon, and his boggart was a full moon, and his patronus is a wolf. And in fifth year I made him tell me that you guys are illegal animagus. So now all that's left to discover, is what animals you guys transform into." I lean back against an armchair and smile.

He grins. "Yeah. Like that'll ever happen."

"Of course not." I yawn.

"So all we need to do is hand this over to McGonagall tomorrow."

"Exactly"

"Listen, I've got a Transfiguration essay to work on and I'm tired." I get up. "I'll see in the morning. Goodnight Potter."

"Goodnight Lilykins!"

I turn around and wave back at him.

He still sitting on the rug and is sitting cross legged and leaning back on his hands, but his smile is there. The left-dimpled smile.

I climb the girls' staircase, and am reached with the most horrific noise as I reach our door.

It sounds quite like a banshee.

I open the door.

Oh not AGAIN!

The banshee noise is coming from Lena.

Oh my. Her normally slick brown and highlighted hair is in a frizzy mess and she is holding her wand in her hand, and holding her wand. She looks like she stuck her finger in a socket.

Alice is quietly backing from her, probably to hide under her bed.

"Lena? What's going on?" Mary emerges from the bathroom in only a towel, her honey blond curls wet.

"I DON'T KNOW!" she shrieks. "I was going to dry my hair, but all of a sudden, my hair turned like this!"

"How?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Oh I do- AAAAAARGH!" just then, a flash went off, turning Mary's hair exactly like Lena's.

"Oh you too!"

"No! My hair!"

A quiet laugh comes from the doorway. And there's Gilda, in all her pranking glory, wearing the biggest smile on her face.

"I told you guys that if you keep accusing me you'll PAY."

"Reverse the spell!" they both shriek together.

"Nope. No can do. I didn't bother learning the counter spell. And the book was in the restricted section, so it'll be hard to go back there. So it should wear off in about a week." Her smile, if possible, gets even bigger.

She walks over to her trunk and fishes something odd looking. A wizard camera.

Before they have time to react, quick as lightning, she flashes a picture of both of them.

"The next time you want to accuse me of doing something I didn't do, just remember I've got blackmail material." She says as the picture slips out of the camera.

She takes it and walks over to her 'Special Box'. It's the hiding spot that only she can touch. If anyone tries, ZAP! You end up with permanently green hair. I and Alice put our money together to get that for her thirteenth birthday.

Then, she walks out of the room, beckoning me and Alice to follow.

Once in the hall, we burst out in hysterical giggles. Between gasps, she manages to say, "It wasn't even a spell. It was potion I put in their shampoos to make their frizzy a minute after they get out of the shower. It actually lasts for two weeks. And the counter spell is actually chocolate. Lots and lots of it. Bu they won't eat that much, for they're on HEALTHY diets. Please. What diet is healthy if it doesn't have any meant, chocolate, or cheese?"

I don't know, I really don't.


	9. Padfoot and Prongs Mooning

DISCLAMER: I REALLY don't own anything.

**Chapter 9**

**Padfoot and Prongs Mooning.**

_No, I couldn't be right. He can't be. _

_But even as I run down the endless hallway, I know I'm too late._

_He's there, at the end, and hazel melts into green for one last time before the man in black robes raises his wand._

_A flash of green light, and he crumples to the floor. I stumble. No. _No. _NO!_

"LILY!" I'm shaking. I wonder why. I'm not cold; on the contrary, I'm quite warm. But I realize it's not me shaking. Someone else is shaking _me._

"Lils, c'mon, wake up. You were having a bad dream." I open my eyes. Alice is shaking me with a worried look on her face.

Gilda is standing over me, biting her bottom lip, looking anxious. I've never seen them so worried. What happened?

They both sigh in relief as I look at them.

"Gods, Lily, you scared the bloody hell out of us for a moment there." Alice says.

"W-what happened?"

"You looked like you were having a seizure." Gilda announced.

"Did you have a nightmare Lils?"

I can't tell them. If I do, then I might have to explain how James Bloody Whatever-his-middle-name-is Potter has been dominating my dreams.

Alice would smirk, and Gilda would laugh about how I'm probably falling in love and Alice would say 'I told you so,' and Gilda would say 'No you didn't' and that would lead to another unnecessary argument. And I'm not letting that happen.

Sigh. It feels good to know your friends so well.

But there is NO WAY IN HELL that I'm telling that that Potter was murdered before my very eyes in my dream. They might send me to Madame Pomfrey for some sort of nasty tasting potion to get rid of lovesick soul in a victim's body.

So I put on an 'I have no idea what you're talking about' face and say, "No, I don't think so."

"What do you mean you don't think so?" they both say at the same time, narrowing their eyes.

They have been CLEARLY spending too much time with each other.

"I mean, I might have, but I don't remember, it was just colours." I say. Wrong. I remember it vividly, as if I was there now. Gosh. I'm a terrible liar.

"Well, it must have been pretty bad, because you were screaming for the past five minutes."

"And you didn't wake me because?"

They both shrug. "We wanted to see if you would say anything."

"And did I?"

"Sadly, no."

"So do you remember the dream or not?"

"No.." I insist.

"Fine." Alice looks convinced, but Gilda knows better. She knows that she could probably worm it out of me, but she doesn't. Instead she smirks at Alice and starts rummaging in her trunk for her socks.

"What?" Alice asks her.

"Nothing." She grins.

"Doesn't look like nothing."

"Isn't a girl aloud to smile once in a while?"

"Not when there's nothing to smile about."

"I'm smiling at the fact that I have Sirius as a boyfriend."

"What's so great about having Sirius as a boyfriend?"

"What's so great about having Frank Longbottom as a two year crush?" Gilda shot back.

"I do NOT have a crush on Frank Longbottom!"

"Suuuuuuure you don't Aly."

"I DON'T!"

"Guys," I groan. "Can you stop for ONE MINUTE? One minute! That's all I'm asking! Just peace and quiet for ONE BLOODY MINUTE!"

"Gilda checked her watch. "And your minute stops….now."

"I DON'T LIKE FRANK BLOODY LONGBOTTOM GILDA!"

"Alice, stop denying it!"

"Why?"

"AHA! So you admit that you DO like him!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Really, because I don't seem to recall saying that I fancy Frank!"

"You just did!"

"No I- well, there is more than one Frank in this school!"

"Sure there is. A first year Slytherin by the name of Frank Lents. Nasty boy. But you like the Gryffindor seventh year Frank who happens to share a dormitory with my boyfriend. Is that specific enough for you?"

Aren't my friends _lovely?_

Especially at seven in the morning, where they DON'T have an argument and where they go about their business QUIETLY, and where they let me ponder something in my mind in PEACE.

Yeah, right. Like that's EVER going to happen.

I let their jabbering fade into the background as I start to rummage around in my trunk for my things.

I wonder about the dream. Why is it always him?

When the man in black raised his wand, I didn't scream because he was going to kill once more, I screamed because those bright hazel eyes lost their life, their spark. And as the lifeless body tumbled to ground, I felt as if a part of me had been ripped apart, as if, my heart had been ripped in half so severely that it would never heal again, as if no amount of time and no amount of happiness in my life could even begin to heal the soul that was half lost. Lost, with no way to find it ever again. Gone.

I shook my head.

But why? Why was it always, ALWAYS him? Why couldn't it be friends, or family, or even vampires that I dreamed about? Are my dreams suddenly trying to torture me in the most crucial way possible? Making you dream about the one person where last year you wouldn't have given a damn if he died…get murdered before your very eyes?

"Lily? LILY! Are you ready yet?" Alice's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Yeah, we only have twenty minutes to have breakfast and meet up with Sirius."

"OR, you can meet up with Sirius and have him for breakfast and Lily and I will eat a proper breakfast, which doesn't include your boyfriend of one day on the menu."

"Pity, he is quite delicious, if I do say so myself."

I giggle at the mental image of Sirius lying on a platter with his eyes closed and an apple in his mouth with Remus standing over him with a napkin tucked into his collar, holding a knife and fork and licking his lips.

On second thought…..EW.

Alice rolls her eyes. "Let's get going, or we'll be late."

"Oh no Aly, not you too, we're EARLY for crying out loud!"

"Yes, well, I thought you wanted to meet up with Sirius?"

"OH YEAH!" and then she runs off to the common room, where Sirius is probably waiting for her.

I grin. "You really know how to deal with her, don't you Alice?"

"Well who do you think I spend my time with when you're on patrols? The Giant Squid?"

"Ah, well, you'll be spending some more time with me this year as Remus, Potter, and I have to alternate patrols and Gilda I believe, will be spending much time with a certain dark haired Black."

"Oh no…." She says in mock horror.

"Besides, the Giant Squid is quite friendly. I fell into the lake once back in second year remember?"

We're both laughing as we descend the staircase to the common room.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

_CRASH!_

We stop in mid-step.

"What was that?" Alice asks, looking around.

"I don't know." I shrug my shoulders.

We walk over to the tables where the sound must've come from.

What we see is quite shocking.

James Whatever-his-middle-name-is Potter, is being attacked….by a dog. A great, black dog the size of a wolf.

"No Padfoot, stop…I didn't mean…c'mon…I never expected you to take it personally…..OUCH!"

The dog has gotten a hold of Ja-Potter's ear and is tugging on it, as if he expects it to come off.

"No….OW! Padfoot let go of my ear!"

Padfoot only pulled harder.

"That's it! I'm kicking you out of the house!"

That must've done the trick, because Padfoot got off of him and walked to the portrait hole.

I realize something.

"Isn't Sirius's nickname Padfoot?"

Potter suddenly looks nervous.

"Yes well, er-"

"Padfoot is Sirius's dog. He used to play with him so much that we nicknamed Sirius Padfoot too." Remus interrupted.

Potter looks relieved.

"I see." I narrow my eyes. Something isn't right. How can J-Potter kick Padfoot out of the house if he belongs to Sirius? I mean, sure, Sirius lives with the Potters now, but, he can't kick his dog out!

Just then, the portrait hole opens again and Sirius walks in.

"It's amazing how when Padfoot walks out, Padfoot walks in." Gilda says dryly.

"Good morning humans!" he calls out and walks up to us. "And good morning to you too James." He says as an afterthought.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"I'm human!"

Sirius scoffs. "Humans, don't threaten to throw their best friends out of the house!"

"Hey, how did you know James threatened to throw Padfoot the dog out of the house? You weren't even in the room!" Alice accuses.

Wait a minute. Padfoot is Sirius's nickname. Potter called the dog Padfoot. Sirius is an Animagus.

Wow. I've been really stupid. The dog is Sirius's animagus form!

"The dog is your animagus form isn't it?" I ask Sirius quietly.

His eyes bug out. "W-what? A-animagus? Me? No!"

"Sirius, she knows." Potter whispers ever so quietly.

Um, hello? SHE is right here!

Everyone else is in shock. Except for Remus.

"I told you she would find out one day Prongs." He says smugly.

"Really? You're a dog?" Gilda sounds kind of…excited.

"Sirius stands there for a second, and is gone. In his place, is the same huge, black dog.

He growls at James, oh darn it! Potter! And then pads across the floor and nuzzles against Gilda's thigh.

She giggles and scratches him behind the ears.

Wait. He PADS across the floor.

Padfoot, PADFOOT, padFOOT, PADfoot. Ohhhhhhhh. Padfoot. Of course. It's just like them to associate their nicknames with the animals that they become. And Moony. The moon. Obviously. How did I not realize that? So Prongs probably has something to do with then animal Potter becomes, and Wormtail has something to do with the animal Peter becomes. Ooookay. I get it.

"Ah, so your nicknames have something to do with your animals' right?" I say.

"Yup."

"OH! I get it! MOONY! The moon!" Gilda all but shouts.

"A little louder Gilda." Remus says.

"Oh sorry." She paused. "It makes sense now. I thought Moony meant something like a desire to moon people."

Remus blushed slightly.

Sirius, who had transformed back wrapped his arms around her. "No, Moony doesn't moon. That's Prongs' job."

"WHAT?" we all shout. Well, except for Prongs in question who is blushing quite adorably in fact.

Oh Merlin, NO! Not again!

"SIRIUS BLACK! If you know what's good for you will shut your trap!"

"Oh but Prongsie, I DON'T know what's good for me, so I tell the story. You see, on the way home from Hogwarts two summers ago, our car was right in front of a car full of hot muggle girls. Anyways, I dared Prongs to moon the car behind ours, and he did! Did he ever get a scolding from his mum or what?"

"Padfoot!" Potter groaned.

"What?"

Gilda and Remus and Peter laugh, while I and Alice grimace. For some reason, I didn't like the idea of Potter showing off his buttocks to other girls. Hmmmmmm. I wonder why.

"I feel sorry for those girls." Alice says.

"Why?"

"Well for one, who would want to see your ass in a car?"

"Ah, I'll have you know, they were smiling when I turned around again!"

"They were probably laughing at your stupidity James."

"They were not!"

"Of course they weren't."

"Yes, yes. We all had a great time." Sirius interrupts Alice and Potter's argument. He smirks. "That is, until his mum realized what he was doing."

"Oh no…." Potter clapped a hand to his forehead.

"Oh yes James." Sirius clears his throat. "James Charles Potter! Don't let me ever see you do that again. You are a disgrace to the family! What were you thinking doing that? What will your father do? What will he say?" Sirius says in a womanly voice. And then, "Yes mummy." He says cheekily.

This time, I can't help myself. I collapse onto a chair, laughing so hard it hurts.

I guess it does take pain to hang out with the Marauders. Pain from laughing too hard.

A/N: Thought I'd just slip this little chapter in…sorry it's been so long…don't kill me….


	10. Dinner Conversations

DISCLAMER: Yeah, J.K Rowling is really a teenage girl living in Canada. Yeah. Right.

A/N: How long has it been since I've updated? Hmmmmmmmm. Oh well. Okay, important news. School's starting up again (NOOOOOO!) so; I won't find the time to update too often. But I will try. At least once a week. Promise. (I've never broken a promise before.)So, without further ado,

**Chapter 10**

**Dinner Conversations**

I am in shock.

How can Gilda be in love with _that?_

I'm not even sure it's humanly possible to eat that much food. Maybe, maybe, he's not even human!

Maybe he's a dog!

Oh wait, he is...well, his dog traits must be showing through in human form.

Because, right now, I'm telling you, he's shovelling down food faster than a vacuum cleaner. And that's pretty fast.

Yeah yeah, I know. He's a growing boy. But really? The rest of the boys are growing boys too, and you don't see them on their fifth plateful (and by that I mean plateFULL.) WHILE EVERYONE ELSE IS ON THEIR FIRST! Talk about having a hollow leg!

Right now, he's drowning his chicken and mashed potatoes in gravy. His fork is like a blur.

Doesn't he ever get hiccups?

Hmmmmmmmm, I'll ask.

"Hey, Sirius, don't you ever get hiccups?" I ask over the rim of my goblet of orange juice. (Not pumpkin juice, eeesh.)

He looks up from his plate momentarily, sending half-chewed pieces of chicken flying.

"Nf my?"

I pick out a piece of chicken that's landed on my hair and toss it away.

"Swallow please, and repeat?"

He swallows.

"No, why?"

"You're eating faster than a bloody vacuum cleaner."

"Faster than a what?"

"A vacuum cleaner."

"A valum cleaner?"

"No, a vacuum cleaner"

"Yeah, that's what I said."

"No, you said valum cleaner."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. I'm not deaf you know."

"how do you know?"

I sigh. Arguing with Sirius is so pointless sometimes.

"This is pointless."

He grins. "What's a vacuum cleaner? Is it like a fellytone?" this time, the question is from Gilda who's just about to scoop some chicken onto her plate.

"No, it's not. And it's telephone Gilda, not fellytone."

She rolls her eyes.

"What does it do?"

"Sirius, it's an electrical thing that sucks up dirt from the floor very quickly." Remus says.

"Ohhhhh. Electical you say?"

"No, electrical."

"That's what I said."

"No, you-ah never mind."

Jam-POTTER looks up from something under the table and says, "Why do you need a valum cleaner when you have Sirius?"

"It's a VACUM cleaner Prongs, not valum. Lily already said that."

They both decide to ignore him.

Sirius almost chokes. "Prongs, Moony just said it sucks up DIRT! I don't eat dirt!"

"No, but you eat anything that's even slightly edible."

"DO NOT!"

"Yes you do."

"Ugh. So Lilykins, why would I get hiccups from eating too fast?"

"It's just something that usually happens when you eat too fast."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I heard it from my Muggle science teacher in the second grade."

"Science?"

"Chemicals. Formulas."

"Huh?"

I sigh. Sometimes, Sirius will only understand something in his own language.

"Explosions. Poisons."

"Ah, now we're talking!" he pauses. "Second grade? Weren't you here in Second year?"

"Second grade Sirius, not year. Muggle children start school at the age of four, having pre-school for two years, then 12 years of reading, writing maths, and other stuff."

"Twelve years? Are you kidding me? W-o-w."

I roll my eyes.

I'm usually used to this, because out of me, Alice, and Gilda, I'm the only one with Muggle blood, 'cause they're both come from pureblood families.

After second year though, they got used to my Muggle talk and finally even understood some of it.

But I guess I forgot to ever mention a vacuum cleaner.

And the Marauders, well, Remus's mother is a Muggle-born, so he should know some things, but I guess he didn't bother explaining it to the rest of them. Probably because he realized they're so thick-headed, nothing new without the words sugar, sweet, and hot date can get in them.

And it's dinner time, by the way if you were wondering.

And for some reason, Gilda somehow talked me and Alice to sit with the Marauders.

Alice doesn't seem to mind much. She's just moving her food around on her plate with her fork and gazing at Frank Long bottom with a dazed expression, who is chatting with James about something.

...

OH DARN IT! I did it again didn't I? It's only a matter of time before I start calling him James to his face. and that, for sure will be the end of the world.

What the hell are those two doing?

Oh Merlin, I think they're playing footsy under the table and GIGGLING. Oh, someone shoot me now.

The looks on their faces is enough to make people gag. Oh yes, Potter is miming gagging right now, while Remus and Frank just snicker, and Alice is- well, she's still in Frank Land and doesn't seem to know what's going on.

I think someone should tell them to do that in private. Not in front of the eyes of poor, innocent first-years.

Okay, I talked myself into it.

But first, I have to make sure they really are playing footsy.

I check under the table.

Oh yes. Gilda's foot is traveling up Sirius's ankle and he is grinning like a fool.

Oh, to be so young and in love!

Wait a minute, I'm young too! Just not in love! At least I don't think I am. I hope not.

Oh let them be. Why should I ruin someone else's pleasure just for my own good?

So, I just look away.

And catch Potter's eyes.

Wow. They're not really hazel today. They're like a molten gold with flecks of green and brown and are just boring into mine. Yikes! Someone save me from these gorgeous eyes!

Uhhhhh, did I just think that? They are NOT, under any circumstances gorgeous. Ja-Potter's eyes will never rival anything close to gorgeous, no matter what the girl's bathroom walls keep saying.

I sub-consciously lean forward a little bit.

, hypnotic eyes. Must get closer...AAAAAAAAAARGH!

There is seriously something wrong with me.

I break eye contact, so I don't do anything stupid. Like, I don't know, walk up to him and say 'I wanna have your babies.' Ha! That would be embarrassing. Or, or jump up on a table and announce to great Hall that I'm in love with James Potter or something. Which is SO not true.

Really. I'm not lying. Don't look at me like that; I think I would know my own feelings before you would thank you very much. Really. Stop it. Seriously. N-

WHO THE HELL AM I TALKING TO?

Anyways, I will look away from Potter and the lovebirds to save myself from a very painful death.

Huh. So who am I supposed to look at now?

Hmmmmmmmm, Alice? She's STILL staring at Frank. Really. Do something. Kiss him. Jump him. I don't know.

How can he seriously not notice it?

Oh wait, look. He just turned around. He locks eyes with her and blushes slightly before turning back to his conversation with Remus.

Well, that was jolly good fun.

Who's next?

Remus is chatting with Frank. Bo-ring. He seems a bit...discoloured. Must be close to the full moon. Poor Remus.

If anyone deserves that kind of painful transformation every month, it's Severus Snape.

Yes I know. He used to be my best friend. Hence the part, used to be, when he showed his true colours at the lake in fifth year. I should've known he would turn his back on the light eventually. I blame it on Mulciber and Avery. But then again, if he didn't want to join Voldy-poo, there would've been no dark mark on his forearm when his sleeve rode too high once in class.

Shudder.

I remember the time when we used to hang out at the park near my home, easy and natural. But now, I feel nothing but hatred for him. Not the type I feel for Potter mind you, but the type that can't be forgiven with an apology. The type that makes your insides sear with fire. Kinda like what I feel for Voldy-poo, you know?

And yes, I know it's a stupid nickname, but it feels good to use it in front of the Slytherins, who only use 'the Dark Lord'. Lord? Please. You've got to be kidding me. The only thing he's the lord of is idiotic Slytherins.

Oh well. At least I'm rid of him.

I happily finish orange juice. NOT pumpkin juice, it's disgusting. Sheesh. Or it might be just that I hate pumpkins in general. Don't ask me why. I just do.

I turn my head to the right again to see if Gilda and Sirius have stopped playing their little game.

Oh EW!

Now they're leaning across the table, making out. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! Even the teachers.

Uh oh. What will McGonagall do? I swear that woman has it in for Sirius.

I look at the head table.

McGonagall's eyes are indeed on the happy couple. But um-she seems, relieved? Happy? Hmmmmm. Interesting. And Dumbledore's eyes are twinkling in that weird way again. You know, the way they twinkle at a good joke, or happy news. The rest of the teachers are oblivious to their actions.

"Oh EW! Did I just see tongue? I just saw tongue! I just ate dinner! It's not an appropriate time for me to see tongue!" James, scratch that-Potter said banging his knife on the table, covering his eyes. "My innocent eyes!" he whimpers.

Sirius and Gilda break apart, both blushing furiously.

"James, since when are your eyes innocent?" Remus asks. "I thought they stopped being innocent after Sirius ran around the dormitory stalkers in second year."

Gilda looked a Sirius. "You did that? For fun?"

Sirius smiled sheepishly.

"Oh yes," Potter says. "He somehow got into Moony's supply of chocolate and went a wee bit crazy."

Gilda just looks dumfounded and Peter is laughing at the memory.

Well, I guess you learn something new everyday right?


	11. Of Sirius Weirdness and Awkward Sile

DISCLAIMER: I still own nothing!

A/N: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I know, I know, it's been more than a week. But don't worry; I've already hit myself multiple times on the head for breaking my promise. Sooooo, try not to hurt me. And a- if you've forgiven me, maybe you might be kind enough to leave a teeny weeny review? Please?

**Chapter 11**

**Of Sirius Weirdness and Awkward Silences.**

Dum, dum, du du duh, dum dum, du du duh, la loo la loooooooo, la looooo la looooooooooooooo, duh, duh, duh, duduh, duh duh, duh duh…..

I'm sitting in the Gryffindor common, pleasantly working on my charms homework (such an EASY subject). Actually, I'm more or less experimenting with the water charm. I want to see if I can alter the speed and pressure of the water coming out of the tip of my wand at will. If I do, then I can simply say that I'm the master at charms, because most people can only do the simple spell, and I want to prove that I can do what they can, but much better. Serves them right for being prejudiced about muggle-borns!

Because they'll be walking past me in the halls, and they'll be laughing and saying stuff like

'Oh look, it's the mudblood, she can't do any type of magic we can.'

And I'll be like, 'You want to experiment with a water charm?'

And then they'll laugh and do it, but when I do it, I'll alter the speed and ferocity and wait till they notice it, then point my wand toward their faces.

!

Stupid Slytherins.

Now, let's try that again, but with more evilness.

**!**

**STUPID SLYTHERINS.**

Ah, much better, right?

Bloody hell. I'm talking to myself again aren't I? Someone shoot me.

Ahem. Back to a saner mind set.

Let's try the spell again.

"_Agumenti,"_ I think. Water pours out of the tip of my wand and into the bucket I have so artfully placed in front of me. (Well duh, I'm Head Girl, I wasn't going to let it pour all over the carpet)I think, "More" and almost immediately, the water speeds up. AHA! I am the master! Then, I slowly will it to slow down to a soft trickle. I giggle. This is so much fun. I pick up the water speed to full blast. I should probably stop soon. The buckets more than halfway full.

Just then someone, or something, taps me on the shoulder.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" I shriek, turning around, and drenching the one and only James Potter with water on full blast.

…..

Oops.

Well, I can't say he looks awfully terrible soaked from the shirt up. In fact, I can truthfully say that he looks GORGEOUS! His hair, although drenched, is still somehow still standing up the way it usually does, but looking much, much sexier. And as for his white shirt, well it was already cuffed up to his sleeves, and the top few buttons undone allowing anyone to peek into his wonderfully glamorous chest and muscled forearms and-NO! BAD LILY! You will not have these thoughts about James Potter. He has no wonderfully glamorous chest, muscled forearms or sexy hair. HE DOES NOT I TELL YOU, HE DOES NOT!

Although, since the shirt is see through, I can clearly see his wonderfully muscled torso. NO! I CANNOT! BAD LILY, BAD!

Sigh.

I think I need Madame Pomfrey.

I really do.

Ah, what a stupid thing he is doing. He's attempting to wipe off his SOAKED glasses on his already soaked shirt. Why bother?

I feel the sudden impulse to do something nice for my worst enemy of six years.

I reach out take and his glasses from him and wipe them with a tissue that just happens to be on the table beside me.

"Um, thanks Lily." He's facing the complete opposite direction from where I am.

My, he's quite blind without his glasses isn't he?

So, I reach out, and turn his head toward my direction.

"Can't you see me at all Potter?" I ask.

"I only see a mass of red. But don't worry; no one else has hair like yours so it'll be hard to mistake for someone else. The brunettes though, that'll be hard."

I laugh. But I can't help but feel jealous for the brunettes that James is interested in. uh oh. I'm not supposed to be feeling this. Jealous of what Evans? It's not like he's your boyfriend or anything. It's not like you're madly in love with him. Phew. So glad I'm not. Or am I? What? NO! I AM MOST DEFINITLY NOT IN LOVE WITH JAMES BLOODY POTTER!

"Anyways, Lily, keep doing that and you could make yourself a cup of tea with that."

"What?"

"I mean, that water was like hot bath water,"

Hot bath water? I can alter the temperature too? Wicked cool!

"I had no idea you could do that. You're good." He attempted to put his hand on my shoulder.

Uh oh.

I think I have a problem.

"Hmmmmmm, did you know your shoulder is rather firm and soft at the same time?" he says.

"Um, that's not my shoulder."

"It's not?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"It's my breast."

He gave a half shriek and pulled himself away from me, tripping over someone's bag that was lying carelessly on the floor.

"Omph." He landed on the floor with a loud thud.

"Um, I think you should wear your glasses." I hand them over to him.

"Thanks." He attempts to put them on his face and instead pokes himself in the eye.

Oooooooo, that's got to hurt!

So in my second random act of kindness, I gently take his glasses from him and slip them onto his face

"No problem."

Awkward silence.

"So," I say attempting to fill the silence. "What did you want to talk to me about anyways?"

"Well, I was wondering if-"

"No."

"But I haven't even-"

"NO."

"But-"

"NO, I will not go to Hogsmeade with you!" Doesn't he ever give up?

"But will you-"

"NO POTTER, I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH-"

"CAN I BORROW YOUR ARITHMANCY NOTES?"

What? He didn't want to ask me out? He wants to spend his free time…studying?

More awkward silence.

"So?" He asks.

"Um, okay." I squeak. I hand them over.

"Thanks."

He turns around, probably to find the quill he misplaced.

I look over and catch Alice's eye.

She's obviously trying very hard not to laugh.

I mean come on! You've got an almost constipated look on her face, and she's red in the face, and she's trembling from head to toe, while pursing her lips.

I sigh. "You can laugh Alice." Might as well relieve her before she explodes.

See? I'm an extremely nice person! There! In your faces!

Too late. She already exploded. Currently she's rolling around on the floor in hysterics. And just when you think things can't get any worse, Frank stumbles in the common room, running to the boy's dormitories.

But he stops, and turns around once he catches sight of Alice on the floor.

He looks at me questioningly, and I just shrug my shoulders.

"Alice will be Alice." I say. He nods, blushing slightly, then continues his way up the boys' staircase.

Awwwwwww, aren't they just perfect for each other? I'm sure Alice won't mind if I use my awesome matchmaking skills on them like I did with Sirius and Gilda! Mind you, she's probably trap me someplace outside, pull down my knickers, slather my butt with almond butter and knead able owl treats then wait for owls to peck at my exposed flesh and rape me from behind to let out her anger at me for messing with her love life, but afterwards, she would give me a great big bear hug and thank me! Because if there is one thing I've learned about Alice in the past six years, it's that you never, ever, never, never, never, never, never mess with her business. But, I've figured that since I've put up with her for the past six years, I'm allowed to mess with her life. Just a bit though, otherwise owls pecking at my backside won't be the only type of pain I'll be going through and- I'm rambling on again aren't I? Yup. I'm going to shut up now.

But, hey, sometimes, you need to go through pain to get something better in return. It's the cycle of life people! Like, when you severely hurt someone you can't stand and won't stop bothering you *cough Potter glare* and you go through the painful five year sentence of Azkaban, and when you get out, you get the fleeting satisfaction of hurting someone you hate, and since they were severely hurt, they'll stop bothering you!

Hmmmmmm, that plan is actually not half bad. I'll think about trying it with Potter sometime and- note to self: STOP EXCESSIVE RAMBLING!

"Bonjour Lily, ma petite fleur!" Oh I know that voice anywhere!

I turn around to find Sirius, who's grinning like a mad fool.

"Excuse me?" I think he just insulted me.

"I said, hello my little flower!" I now notice the French-English dictionary he's carrying in his arms.

Awkward silence.

"What gives?" I finally say.

"What?"

I point to the dictionary.

"Oh." he grins. "Remus said I should expand my vocabulary rather than make up my own words."

"I think he was talking about your ENGLISH vocabulary Sirius."

"Hmmm, whatever. I enjoy twisting his words. Besides, I can now swear at teachers however much I want and they won't know a thing I say!"

"So you're basically looking up random phrases?"

"Yup."

"You know how to use a dictionary?" I am honestly shocked.

"Oh ha-ha Lilykins. That was so funny I forgot to laugh." Then he goes back to flipping through the book searching up random things. Knowing him, he's probably searching up extremely inappropriate phrases.

I'm telling you, that boy's mother dropped him once too many times on the head as a baby.

CRASH!

I'm almost turning my head to the source of the noise, but something distracts me first.

"Hey, Lily, Sirius." Gilda slides up next to him and grins.

Awwwwwww, she looks so happy!

He smiles back, genuinely.

"Bonjour á toi aussi mon amour!"

She looks dumfounded.

"What?"

I sigh.

"Your boyfriend seems to think that learning French will be considered expanding his vocabulary."

"Awwwwwww, my cute little Padfoot's becoming a French boy!"

"Oui oui!"

Oh.

My.

Gods.

Did he just say weewee?

"Hey! HEY LILY! Did you see that second year fall down two flights of stairs?"

No I did not; I was too busy picking my jaw up off the floor!


	12. Even More Weirdness

DISCLAIMER: Oh how I wished I owned Harry Potter….but, sadly…I don't.

A/N: As you can see dear readers, I haven't updated for quite a long time. So, I hope this chapter is good enough for you to forgive me. And ah- if you seem to like it, TELL ME! 'Cause how else am I supposed to know? And quoting the wonderful hyknight2, 'I DEMAND MORE!' But, in my case, I demand more reviews.

**Chapter 12**

**Even More Weirdness **

"GILDA, GIVE IT BACK!"

"Hehehehehehehe, now why would I do _that_?"

"BECAUSE IT'S PRIVATE!"

"Now, why would a diary be private? They're written because they're meant to be read!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Uh uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Would you two just_ shut up?_" I say as I look up from my potions book.

"Lily, make Gilda give back my diary!" Alice says accusingly.

"But Lily, I just want to know she like Frank or not!"

"I don't!" Alice goes red in the face.

"Oh YEAH?"

"YEAH!"

"Girls! Seriously!" I throw my hands up in frustration. "Gilda, give Alice back her diary. If she really likes Frank, she'll tell you when she's ready. And Alice, stop denying it! You know you like him!"

"I do not!" and with that she snatches her diary from Gilda's hands and storms up the stairs.

I look at Gilda. "You really got to stop freaking her out." I say. "Can you imagine how relieved she must be feeling by now?"

She looked properly perplexed. "What do you mean Lils?"

"Well, think of it this way. If she really does like Frank, then she should be going out of her way to make sure nobody ever finds out. Especially us. Because you know the muggles have this saying, that if you tell three people, they will tell everyone. And I'm guessing Alice doesn't want everyone to find out that she likes Frank."

"But we're only two people."

"True, but I'm sure you would tell Sirius the first chance you get."

"Oh, yeah." She looks thoughtful. "But, I have proof that she likes him."

"Oh?" I went back to my book, uninterested.

She smiles evilly. "I was able to get a quick peek at her diary before she found out I had it."

"Really?" I lean forward now, captivated.

"Yup." She grins. "From what I can tell, on every two pages, there is a page reserved for her to scribble the words 'Mrs. Alice Longbottom' all over the page.

"No way."

"Yes way." She cocks her head. "You know Lily, sometimes you remind me of Alice."

"How so?" I ask.

"Well, you're both in denial about the boys you like. She denies liking Frank when she knows she does, and you deny liking James even though you know you like him."

I start to get red in the face.

"I do NOT like James Potter!"

"See, there you go." She smiles, leaning back on the couch. "You're in serious denial."

"I am NOT in denial!" My voice goes up by three octaves.

"Ha!" She grins. "There's your proof! You voice always goes up when you're in denial."

"How would you know that?" I'm starting to get really pissed right now.

"Lily," She sighs, "I've lived with you ten months a year, for the past six years, plus the two months of this year, so that's…..that's….." She starts counting on her fingers.

Poor Gilda, however smart she may be with magic and pranks; she can't do a math problem to save her own life.

"Sixty two months, or five years, and two months." A sexy, male voice says to my left.

I look over, only to see James Potter looking very pleased with himself.

"Yeah!" Gilda says. "Five years is enough to know you well, so there you go!"

….

I take back what I said before about the voice, I really do.

"Lily."

"Lily."

"LILY!"

"Mmm, what?"

"Here are your arithmancy notes." Potter hands them over to me.

"Oh, um….thanks."

He smiles. When did those teeth get so white?

"I'll see you at the feast." He gets up and walks away.

Feast? What feast? Why didn't anyone tell me there was going to be a FEAST?

I look over at Gilda. She raises her eyebrows. "You DO like him." She says accusingly.

Will she ever stop?

"I've told about only six million times Gilda. I. Do. Not. Have. Any. Feelings. For. James. Freaking. Potter." I say between gritted teeth.

"Whatever you say Lils." She gets up and walks to the portrait hole. "You coming?"

"Coming where?"

"Lily, where have you been? The Halloween feast of course."

Halloween feast?

Didn't school start only about a couple weeks ago?

I rush over to the window. Outside, there's a gale wind blowing colorful leaves all over the grounds. The birds are long gone, except for a few ravens and squirrels desperate for a last chance of scavenging some supplies for winter. The sun is setting, but it's only six o' clock.

Oh shit.

Its fall. Where did summer go? Where have I been? WHERE DID I GO?

Oh no, I've been so caught up in classes that I've forgotten to look out the window!

Shit shit shit shit SHIT!

The stupid, idiotic, moronic Halloween dance is freaking tonight! Do you have any idea what this means? I DON'T HAVE A *-!* COSTUME!

!

Oh well, might as well go enjoy the pies, apple though, not pumpkin, sheesh.

So I get up and follow Gilda out the door, when all of a sudden-

"LILLLLLLLLLLLLLLY! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUF!"

Oh I know that voice anywhere!

I turn around. "Sirius." I say.

He looks like a dog given a whole roast pig to eat…..literally.

The great black dog is panting with excitement, with a strange twinkle in his eyes that I've seen only too many times.

He jumps up and licks my face.

Ew.

"Ewww! Sirius! Where are your manners?" I say wiping my face of dog drool.

The dog looks properly ashamed.

In a flash, he's back to the tall, gangly teenager I'm used to seeing.

"Sorry." He's says, not looking sorry at all. "Dog senses take over sometimes."

"Of _course_ they do."

He grins. "Anyways, I was thinking we prank the Slytherins tonight by a little a- what do you call it? A Halloween scare."

"And you are telling me this because?" I ask. I'm getting quite suspicious.

"Because, we need your brains to pull this one off."

"Forget it Sirius. I'm Head Girl, I could lose my badge."

He grins. "_Ah, mon petite _Lily flower, you've forgotten the ways of the Marauders. No one will know it's you."

I sigh. Why? Why? WHY does this always happen to me?

"Just get Remus to do it."

"He can't. It's the full moon tonight."

"Oh." Poor Remus. He's gonna miss his last Hogwarts Halloween feast because of his problem. I think I'll help them, just for the sake of Remus.

No, no, I can't. I'm Head Girl.

You know you want to, my inner voice says.

Shut up, I tell it.

Ooooo, so tempting to help, to temping to leave it be…..I guess it would be an understatement, to say that I'm officially caught between a rock and a hard place.

Okay….they can do the prank another time, with Remus. Yes that's it. I don't need to risk my badge to help people I feel sorry for. Right! I won't do it!

"I'll do it." I say. WHAT? Where did that come from? What is wrong with me? Why can't I keep my mouth shut, ever?

Just then, Peter runs into the room, panting.

"I just overheard McGonagall talking to Dumbledore. They were talking about a weird trip for the seventh years of something like that." he wheezes.

"Are you sure Wormtail?" Sirius asks.

"Yes."

"Like the time you were sure about leaving your upcoming prank list on your bedside table, and somehow it found itself in the hands of a Slytherin?"

"No! This time, I'm really sure!"

"Fine."

I am confused. By my decision to help prank obviously, but what was that Peter said? A trip for the Seventh Years? Sounds exciting! And what was that about a prank list? The Marauders write down all their pranks? Oho! That's their weakness! You write it down, and just leave it to their dump of a dormitory, and it'll find its way to certain areas of the castle. Like….the seventh year's girls dormitory?

Hehehehe, now if I could just get a hold of that prank list, I could totally blackmail them for every little prank they've pulled on me for the past six years!

Oh…..this is just too good.

A trip for us? Looks like it's gonna exclude the Marauders!

Hmmmmmm, that doesn't sound very nice, does it?

Okay, okay, I won't blackmail them, they've only pranked me for fun, and revenge isn't always a sweet thing. I've learned a thing or two about that from Petunia.

Oh, Petunia, what have I done to make you hate me so much?

Sigh. I really got to get my thoughts on track.

….fine. I'll help the Marauders, but on one little condition…they can't prank me at all anymore!

Ha! Cause I can blackmail them with their prank list!

Well…as soon as I find it.

"Okay, Sirius, where do you want to meet?"

He grins. "Aw, Lily, I knew you'd cave in to my charms!"

I glare at him.

"O- okay." He gulps. "Our dormitory? Ten o'clock?"

….


	13. Secrets

DISCLAIMER: I still, unfortunately own _nothing. _(Sigh. Sob. Wail)

A/N: Happy Holidays people! I don't care whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Yule, whatever; they're all a reason to celebrate. And you know what celebrating means right? PARTIES! So, enjoy yourselves, and try not to go overboard with the sugar and alcohol. And you know what the best part of the Holidays is? The pranking! My, my, what fun the parties are when there is slippery ice just _waiting _to be slipped on! And review people! You know that little button is just screaming at you to put your mouse on it! (I meant that in the least perverted way possible)

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Secrets**

I narrow my eyes at Sirius. "What's the catch?"

"Lily daaaar-ling, why would there be a catch to you helping us? You should be the one throwing conditions out all over." He drawls.

"You're going to miss possibly your last Halloween party at this school, to _prank _someone and get into trouble anyways?"

A mischievous grin creeps up his lips. "Ah see, my little flower," I roll my eyes at the nickname. "That's what everyone will be expecting. So, it's the perfect opportunity to prank. Besides, poor Moony, he'll be howling before midnight, so we have to set it up quickly or we won't-"He stops himself short, knowing he's said too much.

I raise an eyebrow. Interesting, very interesting.

I got to admit though. His reasoning is quite….smart. I never thought this day would come, but I'm actually calling Sirius Black smart…..this is just too weird.

Hmmmmmmmmm, I wonder, are the rest of the Marauders like this?

Remus is a positive obviously, it's now been confirmed that Sirius is also a positive. Peter though I don't know…does exploding his cauldron almost every single potions class and not being able to do first year standard charms considered smart? What about Potter? Even if he is, the gorgeous windswept hair intoxicating eyes defiantly don't show.

….wait. Did I just think that? No. _No._ NO! This can't be! I refuse to admit that I think these thoughts! Someone must be planting them in my head! Yes, that's it. Now, who could it be…Gilda! Oh I'm going to kill that girl! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, oh just you wait Gilda, I'm coming after you and I sha-

"Lily, dar-ling, are you coming to the feast or not?"

I blink twice. I've been spacing out again haven't I? "Yes."

Sirius raises an eyebrow. "Well, then let's go, or we'll miss the Dumbledore's dancing skeletons."

"Oh, right." so, I have no choice but to follow him to the Great Hall.

As I pass by the head table, I hear Professor McGonagall whispering excitedly to the muggle studies professor. "Yes… great idea for them…. Muggles…."

"Maybe, but I was thinking…Seventh years…..England….abroad….see the world." She whispered back.

_Whaaaaaaaaaaaa?_

Abroad? England? Muggles?

Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?

Just then- "OH LILY FLOWER!"

Bloody hell. What does she want now?

Gilda runs up to me, looking excited about something.

"Lily," She whispers, "I just heard over heard Flitwick and Dumbledore. They were talking about some sort of plan on making groups out of the seventh years or something and planning final destinations."

"Really, I heard McGonagall and Yulewickle talking about abroad and England and Muggles and seventh years or something like that," I say, surprised.

"Do you think they're planning some sort of trip for us?"

I snort. "With Potter and Black in our class? Heavens, no."

She smiles. "Your right, but they're defiantly planning something."

"True."

"Gilda, Lily!" Alice slides into the bench beside Gilda. "I heard Slughorn talking about wand banning and something to do with North America. You don't think there's something going on overseas do you? Are there actually wizards and witches there?" She seems to have forgiven Gilda.

"I don't know Ali, I don't know." I sigh. What could possibly be going on that has the teachers in havoc? Did something happen? Did Voldemort do something terrible?

A spoon clinks on glass. Dumbledore stands up, and as usual, the hall fills with silence.

"I'd like to say a few words before you all sneak into the kitchens and have Halloween parties of your own-"An uneasy laughter escapes some people's lips. "Happy Halloween to you all, and just a reminder to all the seventh years that your Heads of Houses have organized a meeting here in the Great Hall tomorrow morning, so kindly do not proceed to your classes after breakfast, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised-"

"What's the surprise?" Sirius shouts.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkle. "All in due time Mr. Black. And now, kindly avert your eyes to the ceiling, for the Hogwarts ghosts have put on a little show for us."

Okay, so I got to admit. The Hogwarts' ghosts know how to put on a show. In pairs, they danced and sang the most popular music and dances of their eras. Namely, Nearly Headless Nick was doing some sort of Shakespearean act to church music with the Grey Lady. It fit in extremely well to the holiday.

But all too soon, they all get in a line, and bow. The hall erupts in cheers, hoots, and in the Marauder's case, quite a few wolf whistles.

"Alright, alright!" Dumbledore gets to his feet once more. "An excellent show for all of us I'm sure! Now, skedaddle along, you have a long day of lessons tomorrow!"

The sound of benches being pushed back momentarily drowns out the noise of the students.

"Oh, man, did you _see _the Fat Friar? That was awesome!"

"I thought Nick pulling his head off was the best part."

"What do you think the Heads of house are going to talk to us about tomorrow?"

"Dunno, but if it involves skipping Arithmancy, I'm in."

The excited chatter of student is like annoying music. Ugh. Can't they ever shut up? I need to think. What could the teachers possibly want from us tomorrow? Uh oh. They're going to tell us that Voldemort has taking over the wizarding world, and since we're the oldest we have to fight. Oh no. This can't be happening!

_That's because it's not. _My inner voice says.

_How would you know?_

_If it involved Voldemort, they wouldn't have told you at all._

Ugh. I hate it when I'm right.

In my haste to get to Gryffindor tower, I bump into someone.

Severus.

His eyes no longer shine with happiness at seeing me.

"Watch it mudblood." He snarls.

What have they _done _to him? Blinking back tears, I run to the nearest girl's bathroom.

I watch the mirror as tears slowly run down my face. "All my fault." I whisper.

I hear the door open. "Lily?" Alice steps into the room.

"What's wrong?" She reaches out and hugs me.

I shake my head. "It's just…..Snape." I internally recoil at the fact that it's the first time I've ever called him Snape. But I guess he doesn't deserve to be called Severus anymore, he's the one who turned his back on the light.

"Ah, Lily, it's going to be okay. The slimy haired git deserves to be unhappy, look at what he's done to you."

"No, I turned him away. If I accepted his apology that year, he wouldn't be-"My voice cracks.

"No Lils, it was his choice, you didn't do anything. Do you think if you'd accepted his apology things would've gone back to the way they were? Do you think he wouldn't have still joined Voldemort? The time you found him showing off his dark mark to his friends is proof of that Lils."

I swallow. She's right. It was his choice. But it's still, so hard move on when I think of the times we had so much fun together.

I wipe my eyes. "Thanks Alice. Let's go back to the common room before Sirius hunts me down with a paring knife."

"Why would Sirius hunt you down?"

"Oh," I smile. "He made me promise to help them with a prank on the Slytherins because there brain is somewhere else."

"What?"

"It's the full moon. Remus can't help them, and you know how they are. They rely on Remus to make sure the prank works."

"So, you're like their feminine replacement of Remus tonight?"

"Pretty much."

"Nice. And I'm guessing you, under the protection of the Marauders, will not get caught?"

I nod my head.

She laughs. "Well, we'll see how it goes. I'd never thought Lily Evans would ever become a prankster."

"Shut up Alice." I say, laughing.

We reach the portrait hole.

"Puffskin soup." Alice says.

"Sorry dear, the password changed exactly 13 minutes ago." The Fat Lady says.

Alice looks at her in disbelief. "Are you kidding me?"

"I don't kid dear."

"Hold on." I say. "I got this. Burblebumblebut."

"Correct." The Fat Lady swings open, revealing the portrait hole.

We clamber through. "How do you know the password Lils?" Alice asks.

I grin sneakily. "Head Girl privileges." I say. Actually, Potter handed a list of all the upcoming passwords and Burblebumblebut was at the top.

"Who makes up the passwords anyways?" Alice looked back as we started to ascend the girl's staircase.

"Dunno, Dumbledore probably. You know, he's got a pretty funny name himself."

"Doesn't it mean a great big hairy bee in Latin?" She asks.

I stare at her. Then I burst out laughing. I can't help it. Imagining our Headmaster as a great big hairy bee is quite hilarious. Imagine that standing up at the start of term feast trying to welcome us. Hehehehehehehe, it would probably go something like,

"Welcome bzz bzz bzz! To bzzzzzzz our bzzzzzzz new students bz bz bz bz welcome! Bz bz bz bzzzzzzz to our older ones, bzzzzzzzzzz welcome back! Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!"

Oh man, that would be one funny welcome speech.

"Lily, you okay?" Gilda has joined Alice at the top of the staircase.

"Yeah…. (peals of laughter)….just…. (more laughter)….fine! Ahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Well, when you've screwed your head back on the right way, join me and Alice in witnessing the planning of the first Marauder's big prank of the year."

"Alice and I." I gasp between fits of laughter, holding the stair rail for support so that I don't fall.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." She says, climbing down the staircase with Alice.

"Wait!" I yell. "I'm done laughing now! Wait for me!"

I run after them, and they turn around, laughing.

"C'mon Lils. I hope you've brought extra nose plugs, because I forgot mine." Alice says.


	14. The Halloween Scare

DISCLAIMER: However much I would love too, the only thing I own is my crazy mind, Gilda Zabey, and a mug of candy canes.

A/N: I'm being extremely nice here, two updates in a week! (Reviews would be nice. Constructive criticism makes and author productive and able to please more.)

**Chapter 14**

**The Halloween Scare**

I pause outside the Gryffindor seventh year boys' dormitory. I look over at Alice and Gilda.

"Is it safe?" I ask.

"Of course it is. They're humans too Lils, even if they don't act so humane." Gilda says.

"Aha! So you admit that your boyfriend would blend in perfectly with the animal kingdom!" I shout, delighted.

She rolls her eyes. "Lily, he does blend in perfectly with the animal kingdom. He's a dog animagus, remember?"

Oh, damn. I hate it when she's right.

"And I know you and Alice are _dying _to see where James and Frank keep all their personal belongings."

I feel my face getting hot. Damn, damn, stupid face! Stop giving yourself away! Hold on, giving what away? Who made me think that? I know you're in there, get out!

_The only people in here are you consciousness, and your sub-consciousness. And as always, your sub-consciousness is correct, so I suggest you start listening to it, _my inner voice tells me.

_Once again, shut up, _I tell it.

Remind me again why I'm arguing with myself again? The whole point of an argument is to prove that you're right. So if I'm arguing with myself, on one hand, I'm trying to prove that I'm right, while on the other hand, I'm trying to prove that I'm right. Wouldn't I win either way? Man, I love arguing with myself!

And do I really need to tell myself what's wrong with that sentence? Is this some sort of plot to land me in the nearest insane asylum?

_No, but you will end up in one if you keep arguing with your consciousness. Now how about arguing with me, your sub-consciousness? You know you're falling for him._

"I am not!" That came out louder than expected.

"What did you say Lily?" Alice asks.

"Nothing, nothing." I mutter.

"You sure? You're not going crazy are you?"

"Crazy? Are you calling me CRAZY?"

"Nooooooooooo," She says. "Just asking a question."

I shake my head. "Oh well, let's just get this over with."

"Okay dokey, lemon smokey." Gilda winks.

"What?"

"Yeah, I got that from my cousins when I spent the summer with them."

"The crazy ones living on the other side of the Atlantic?"

"Yeah."

"So what is that, North American Slang?"

"Probably. Now c'mon, they probably started already." And with that, she swung open the door.

Once again, I am astonished at how _messy_ a dorm could be. When I came here last time, it was the start of term, and it looked like a garbage dump. Now, it looks even worse.

Candy wrappers are strewn all over the place, the green slime turned strawberry jam is now barf green covered with something between the cross of something a cat leaves behind and a furry winter cap. And finally, there are clothes strewn all over the place, and by the looks of it, none of them are clean. And finally, there are the Marauders themselves, howling in laughter at some joke Frank just said.

"And then I said, well laddie, how do you know if there is princess out there waiting for you? You're a frog!"

Sirius topples off of his bed. "Bloody hell," He says choking with laughter.

Personally, I don't get it. Maybe it's the fact that they don't know the story of the princess and the frog. Oh well.

"Ladies, what a pleasant surprise! Do come in, and shut the door behind you." Remus says.

Sirius jumps up. "Ah, Lily Flower! Alice in Wonderland! And my little black and white film!"

What? Black and white film? Where the _hell_ did that come from?

Remus catches the look on my face.

"He was wondering why her name was so rare, and I told him that it's not English and about the muggle black and white film called Gilda."

Ah. I nod my head. "And I suppose you told him about the book Alice's Adventures in Wonderland?"

"Yes."

Hm. Interesting. "So, Sirius," I say. "Are you obsessed with the origins of names now?"

His eyes light up. "Yeah! Did you know, Lily flower, that my name is actually a star? I'm a star!"

I raise an eyebrow. "Actually, Sirius is a constellation, a series of stars. As in, more than one."

"Aha! So I'm so amazing that I'm more than a star! Did you hear that my little black and white film?" He says, turning to Gilda who smiles.

"We should get started." James-I-mean-Potter says. "The moon will be out in less than an hour."

"Yes! Yes!" Sirius cries. Well, it seems as if he stocked up a little too much on the Halloween sweets.

"I know it's the full moon tonight, but seriously, why do you guys have to be there?" Alice asks.

They share a look. "Well," Potter starts. "Werewolves can only bite humans. Not animals, so yeah. That's why we became animagus."

I can feel my eyes widen into saucers. So they turn into animagus once a month and hang with Remus so they can keep him company. Wow. That's really…..brave…and sweet. It shows how much they care about him. I think they're the only thing saving Remus from eternal depression. Just thinking about what would happen if the Marauders were not there for Remus is just too sad. And here I thought they were ignorant, selfish brats! Oh how wrong I've been! Sigh.

"Lily! LILY ROSE EVANS!"

"Wha?"

"Weren't you supposed to help plan the prank?"

"Oh um, yes, yes!"

Remus gets up and looks out the window. The moon is covered by clouds, but the clouds are slowly moving away. "Well, I better get going. I'll hear about the prank tomorrow I hope?"

"Oh, I wouldn't be surprised if it was all over the Daily Prophet if the Gryffindor ladies are involved." Frank says from across the room, smiling. Then he turns and catches sight of Alice. His smile widens, and his warm brown eyes sparkle. Alice blushes. Awwwwwwwwwwwww, they're so cute. I wish someone would look at me like that with such love.

_You do silly. James Potter remember?_

No! He does not love me! He just wants me because I'm the only one who's ever said no to his 'Potter Charm'! It's all a game to him!

_You know it's not._

Shut up, sub-conscious! Just shut up!

"Well, then, I'll see you all tomorrow. Good night, and happy pranking!" With a last smile, Remus leaves the room.

"Righty then," Jam-Potter says, rubbing his hands together. "Let's get cracking."

I now notice what he's wearing. Drawstring pajama pants with a t-shirt saying, Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are proud to present HOGWARTS in the biggest Halloween prank ever!

I raise my eyebrows. That shirt does not look new at _all._ In fact, there is a gaping hole in the bottom left side, exposing the scrumcious skin of his toned stomach.

What? Scrumcious? Where did that come from?

He catches the look on my face. "Oh," He says, smiling. "It's charmed. It says the latest thing that the Marauders are planning to do. It's always changing. Like this."

He turns around, exposing the back of his shirt. It says, THE MARAUDERS. Maraudering for 6 years, 1 month, 30 days, 20 hours, 15 minutes, and 26 seconds. As I watch, the digits keep changing to show how long the Marauders have been in effect. Very interesting.

"And does everyone have a shirt like this?" I ask.

"Yes. I wear mine the most often though." He gestures to the hole in the t-shirt.

"Ah."

"Ahem, if you two are finished, we can start." Sirius says, on his bed.

"Oh, oh right." I say, going over to stand by Gilda.

Sirius turns to Frank, who is hastily scribbling out an essay for Charms. "Are you sure you don't want to join us Frank? It'll be really fun!"

"No thank you. I have an essay to finish. I'll observe though."

"What he means to say is he'll observe Alice." Peter mumbles.

Alice gives him a look. Now, Alice is not good at giving evil looks. But Peter, being the person he is, squeaks and jumps; terrified. He sometimes reminds me of a rodent. Small, squeaky, afraid of _everything._ It's a wonder how he goes with Sirius and Potter every month to meet werewolf Remus.

"Now, every year, we've done something extraordinary. This year, being our last, needs to top it all off. It needs to top every scream, vampire, and ounce of dragon blood!" Sirius says, waving one hand in the air, as Gilda's head is currently in his lap and he is running his hand through her dark locks.

"But won't they immediately know it's you if you do something extraordinary again?" I ask.

"Well Lily," J-Potter starts. "All the teachers know that Remus is the mastermind behind our pranks, and all the teachers know that tonight is the full moon, therefore, they will think it's not us. Little do they know, Lily Evans is slightly more corrupt in the mind than she shows."

Corrupt? Did he call me CORRUPT? I'll show him who CORRUPT!

Deep breath. Calm down Lily. Count to ten. 1, 2, 3, 4, calm down, 7, 8, 9, and 10. Phew.

It feels so good to be able to control my anger.

Hmmmmmm, let's see what we can do with the Slytherins.

Believe it or not, I'm taking this as revenge on Severus.

"Have you ever trashed their common room? Like, left blood and dead bodies all over?" I ask.

Everyone's eyes light up.

"We've never left bodies, have we Sirius?" Peter squeaks.

"What do you mean, Lily?"

"Like, stun certain people, important people to the Slytherin clan. And then drag them out, and transfigure and dummy of some sort to look exactly like them, and spill blood all over the place and put wounds and stuff on the bodies to make it look like they've been killed muggle style."

"Yes, that'll top everything we've ever done. So, do we like wait until morning? Or make a diversion?"

"Well," I say, a smile growing on my face. "Who can scream the loudest?"

"Oh! Oh! Me! Me!" Sirius yells. He would've probably jumped up if Gilda's head wasn't on his lap.

"Perfect. Sirius can become a dog and ruin everything in his path too."

"Hey! I can destroy things too!" Potter protests.

Frank looks up. "Actually Lily, if you want destruction, I suggest you go with James. He can destroy without getting too excited, and without leaving dog slobber all over the place."

Huh. So James, ugh darn it! Yes I know what you're thinking. Just start calling him James! Well, I've got news for you! if I start calling him James in my mind, I'll start calling him James out loud! I have a reputation to uphold people!

"Awwwwwww, no! I wanna destroy too!" Sirius complains.

"But you get to scream don't you? Let Potter do the destruction. And Peter, you sneak in and stun Malfoy, Avery, Black, Lestrange," I swallow. "And Snape."

Potter and Sirius look impressed about the Snape thing. Peter looks terrified of me.

"What?" I demand.

"Nothing." J-Potter says.

"Hmph. Well, get to it. Remus is waiting." I say.

"Thanks Lily flower! Hold on, we- well, Prongsie made this for you earlier." He rummages around in his trunk. Finally, he brings out a white t-shirt. On the front it says, 'BAMBI EVANS, HONERARY MARAUDER MEMBER'. As I watch, the bottom part shimmers, and forms the words, 'MASTERMINDING HOGWARTS HALLOWEEN SCARE OF 1977' I can't help but smile. This is awesome. Sirius grins and tosses it to me. On the back, it's exactly the same as the back of Potters. It has the clock. But mine just says 2 hours, 12 minutes, 56 seconds.

"Thank you."

They both smile. "We made it when you agreed to help with the prank, which just happened to be 2 hours, 13 minutes, and 4 seconds ago." Potter says proudly.

Huh. I guess he's not entirely a brat. So, I smile at him. I really don't know what's gotten into me. First, I have dreams about Potter. Then I gave trouble calling him Potter. Then I have arguments with myself. And then I smile at Potter. What next? Jumping him in the middle of the night?

"Anyways, thanks for being our mastermind this time Lily." And with that Sirius jumps forward and crushes me into a hug. The, he kisses Gilda goodnight and scampers out of the room to set the trap.

Potter reaches into his trunk, grabs a silvery cloth, and hugs me as well.

I got to say, I'm shocked. He's strong and muscular, but not hard, his skin is obviously warm and soft. And he smells like a Quidditch pitch and the inside of Honeydukes and this husky smell that I can't place, but either way he smells good. Then he also runs out of the room.

What did I just think? I assure you, that weren't me! It was my sub-conscience!

_No it wasn't._

I'm ignoring that by the way.

Peter looks at us all, squeaks and runs out of the room.

I turn around to see, Alice and Gilda grinning like madmen.

"Gosh Lils, you're blushing." Gilda says.

"Am not!" I say hotly.

"Right." Alice says.

Frank looks up. "They are good people Lily, even if they're ignorant and brats. Deep down they have kind hearts." He chews on his quill.

"Right." I say, dazed.

"C'mon Lily." Gilda takes my arm and steers me toward the door. "Goodnight Frank!" She calls over her shoulder.

"Goodnight!" He calls just before the door shuts behind us.

We walk back to our dormitory. Once we're there, Gilda and Alice start chattering excitedly about the prank. But I look at the shirt in my hands. I silently put it on, and crawl into bed. It smells exactly like him.

A/N: Here's a little contest. Why is Lily's nickname Bambi Evans?


	15. The Big News

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.

**Chapter 15**

**The Big News**

_Laughing. And warm summer air. The scent of flowers fills my nose and a light; cool breeze brushes my hair back from my face._

_Someone's holding my hand. The hand is large and strong, but soft. It molds into my hand perfectly. I look down at it. It's defiantly a man's hand. The man in particular, is sitting on my right side. But I can't look up now, something has caught my eye. On the hand's fourth finger, a simple gold band glitters in the sunlight. Now why a married man would be holding my hand, I don't know. Unless….I look over at my left hand. Yup. There it is. A ring identical to his is on my fourth finger._

_A spoon clinks against glass. An older, yet still immature looking Sirius stands up. "I remember the first words dear Lilykins ever said to James. I believe they were 'Shove off you arrogant toerag'. And from that who thought they would be here today?" He grins. I finally look over at my husband._

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" I scream, bolting upright.

No. no, no, no, no, NO! I can't possibly be married to James Potter! I don't even remember saying yes to one of his will-you-go-out-with-me antics.

The sound of curtains being ripped back reaches. "Who _dares_ interrupt my beauty sleep?" And agitated and constipated looking Lena snarls.

Me, of course! It's not like she's NEVER woke up screaming.

"Lily of course." Mary says brushing her hair. "She unfortunately knows nothing about keeping quiet while someone is trying to sleep after a wonderful night with Sirius Black."

What?

"No, I really don't think she spent the night with my boyfriend." Gilda says skipping into the room.

"How would you know?" Scoffs Lena. "I just got back an hour ago."

"Really? I don't recall you being there. I thought it was just me and Sirius alone until about five minutes ago." She smiles.

I raise my eyebrows. Gilda spent the night with Sirius?

Bloody hell.

Lena goes pale. "Why you, you" She splutters.

Gilda's smile widens. "Me, me, what? Suggestion, the next time you want to lie about being with someone with a girlfriend, consider paying a visit to Moaning Myrtle's toilet. Maybe she'll teach you a lesson of some sort, called common sense."

Lena narrows her eyes. "Just you wait Zabey. Mark my words, one day, Sirius Black will realize I'm the one for him, and will dump you like any other girl."

"Dump me for you? No, I don't think he will." Gilda says cheerfully.

And just like that, Lena Janzernot, resident Hogwart's bitch #1, let's out a frustrated scream and storms outside the room.

I make to stand up, but forgetting I'm still on my bed, and with a big BANG I collide my head painfully with the roof of the four poster bed.

"Ouch!" I sit back down hard, rubbing my head.

"Whoa, Lils, you okay? That sounded painful!"

I groan. If she got pressured by a certain Sirius Black…..

"Gilda, come here." I say quietly.

She walks over to me. "What's up Lils? You're looking a little pale. Bad dream again? By the way, I heard the Slytherins screaming from the common room." She plops herself down on my bed.

"Gilda, you spent the night with Sirius?" I ignore the part about the Slytherins. Hehehehehehehe, looks like the prank went off without a hitch.

"Eh? Yeah, how come?" She looks confused. Then she registers what I'm trying to say. Her eyes widen. "Oh wait no! No, it wasn't like that, I just woke up in the middle of the night, and I couldn't go back to sleep, and I went to the common room. When I got there, Sirius was there, and we talked for a while, and then I guess we sort of fell asleep on one of the couches."

I smile. "Just asking. Don't let him do anything you're not ready for."

"Oh I know. You know, I learned some very interesting things about him last night. Like for example, whenever someone asks him 'Do you write to your mother often?' he says, 'Sure, I write to Mrs. Potter all the time.'"

I laugh. "It was so nice of them, to just adopt Sirius like that without asking questions."

"Yeah, he really thinks of James as a brother. Anyways, you know what else?"

"What?"

"He just put up the 'player' act" She says, quoting the word player. "He's a just as much of a virgin as you and me."

I can feel my jaw dropping to the floor. "Are you pulling my leg?"

"No, I'm not. Believe me I was shocked too."

I run that through my head. Sirius Black, is a virgin? Bloody hell, first I dream that I'm married to James freaking Potter, and then one of my best friends tells me that Sirius Black, Hogwart's man whore is a virgin?

What next, Dumbledore and McGonagall are engaged and getting married?

Well, that would be quite a sight. Do you think they'd invite us to the wedding? Would McGonagall change her name to Dumbledore? Would they have kids?

…..now that, my dear brain, if what we call disturbing.

"Yikes." I say. "And why did he tell you? Every other girl that he's dated, and all of Hogwarts for that matter, is under the impression that he's got a different girl in his bed every night."

She nods her head. "I know but, um…..well….."

"Well what? Did he say something else?"

Her cheeks start to go red. "Well, he said that…that….he said he um…..oh the hell with it! He said he loves me!" She finished in a rush, her cheeks flaming with colour.

I can feel my eyebrows shooting up closer to my hairline than they've ever been. Awwwwwww, that' so sweet!

"I've got three letters for you Gil. W-O-W."

She smiles shyly. "I had no idea. The whole time this year that he was avoiding me was because he was afraid of his own feelings."

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

_Can't you think of a more creative word than awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww?_

What happened to the good old days where my sub-conscience stayed where it was supposed to stay?

_Those days are gone sweetheart, I've decided to take matters into my own hands._

What matters?

_Your miserable love life._

. I hate my sub-conscience!

I smile. "So, tell me Gil, do you love him back?"

"Yes." She answers automatically.

My smile gets wider. Nice.

"Awwwwwww, Sirius and Gilda are in love!" Alice's voice drifts from her bed.

"Were you listening to our conversation Alice?" I ask.

"Not all of it. I don't normally eavesdrop. What caught my attention was Gilda saying 'He said he loves me!' and I thought who could possibly be in love with Gilda? And then, she said she loves him back, and the only person our little black and white film loves and will ever love is Sirius Black! So I figured he loves her too!" She says, sitting up, and yawing. "Isn't it sweet Lily?"

"Sweet? Oh puleeze Alice, their relationship passed the 'sweet' stage when we caught them snogging like their lives depended on it two months ago!" I say laughing.

"Oh yeah!" She swings her legs over the edges of the bed. "You guys gonna shower, or will I be first?"

"Naw, you go," I say. "I need to find out every juicy little secret Gilda's been hiding from me first!"

Alice laughs, much to Gilda's embarrassment.

"Oh and Alice, if I hear you singing again, I will hex you into next year!" I call.

She turns around. "Now has that ever stopped me Lily darling?" She grins and a moment later, the door of the bathroom closes with a soft _snap._

Okay, that girl has been _clearly_ spending too much time with Gilda.

"Oh how I wish she would just admit to _us, _her best friends that she's in love with Frank Longbottom. No, wait scratch that, the love thing isn't necessary. Just admitting that she likes him as more than a friend is a huge achievement." I say.

Gilda raises an ebony eyebrow. "I could say the same thing about you actually Lils."

Waaaaaaaa? But I'm just friends with Frank!

"But I'm not in love with Frank." I say confusedly.

She stares at me for a second. "Lily, for someone so smart, you can be so dense sometimes!"

"Eh?"

"I'm not talking about Frank, I'm talking about James!"

"But I'm not in love with James either!" Man, the way his name rolls off my tongue feels so good! Uh-oh. Did I just say his name out loud? Noooooooooooooo!

"Maybe not love, but you do defiantly like him, you just won't admit to us or to yourself for that matter."

Phew. She didn't notice the slip up.

"NOTHING YOU CAN DO THAT CAN'T BE DONE!

NOTHING YOU CAN SING THAT CAN'T BE SUNG!

NOTHING YOU CAN SAY BUT YOU LEARN HOW TO PLAY THE GAME!

IT'S EASY!

NOTHING YOU CAN MAKE THAT CAN'T BE MADE

NO ONE YOU CAN SAVE THAT CAN'T BE SAVED!" Alice sings from the shower, saving me from having to answer to Gilda. Hmmmmmm, that song sounds awfully familiar.

Gilda laughs walking to her own bed. "Oh Alice," She shakes her head. Nevertheless, she seems to recognize the song also, and joins in.

"NOTHING YOU CAN DO BUT YOU CAN LEARN TO BE YOU IN TIME,

IT'S EASY!

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE! DA-DA-DADADA-DA!

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE! DA-DA-DADADA-DA!

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, LOVE, LOVE," Now, Gilda is not much of a better singer than Alice, so to say that I'm getting a headache the size of a cow's behind would be an understatement.

But I can't help but smile. I recognize the song now. My dad used to sing it on weekend mornings to wake me and Petunia up.

"Love is all you need!" I sing to myself.

"Oh, did I just hear Lily Evans add her voice to my little performance?" Alice says, sticking her head out of the bathroom.

I smile. "Guilty as charged."

"C'mon Lils! We're gonna be late! And we have to hear the announcement!" Gilda yells.

You filthy hypocrite! First you tell me off for being fifteen minutes early, and then you drag me out the dorm early the next day? Seriously? Really? Am I the only sane one around here?

_Having arguments with your sun-conscience isn't exactly considered sane sweetie._

What are you, my mother? You're my freaking sub-conscience for Merlin's sake! You're supposed to stay nice and quiet, and think of the dreams you'll give me at night, not talk to me all day.

_Sure, that's what I'm supposed to do, if my being is sane. However, when my being is in denial, it's my job to encourage my being to stay true to their heart._

Oh for heaven's sake, I don't like James Potter!

_Who said anything about James Potter? However, thank you for mentioning him. You don't just like him; you are madly in love with him. You were in love with in your previous life, and the life before that, and the life before that. He's your soul mate, and you're his. It's just a shame you didn't realize it as soon as he did. _

Merlin's purple dancing trousers! What life before this? Are you nuts? He's not my soul mate!

_I'm not just the little nagging voice inside your head, as some people refer to me; I'm also part of your immortal soul Lily Evans. It's my job to make sure you do things right, it's me that causes you to fall in love, and I'm also the reason you've fallen out of love. Ever wondered why your previous boyfriends never worked out? And no, it's not because they were terrified of James Potter, I cause you to dislike them. I've been there through everything, I've seen everything through your eyes, and to tell you the truth, I'm getting tired with arguing you. You've always been so stubborn, blind to see the very thing that's right in front of your nose. _

What in the name of all that is good are you talking about? Immortal soul? Soul mate? I've never heard of anyone having their immortal soul talk to them! You ruined my boyfriends? Why am I asking you questions? Just shut up and leave me alone!

_Don't say I didn't warn you._

Oh so NOW you shut up! What was all that information for anyways? Are you trying to land me in the Janus Thickey mental ward in St. Mungo's?

Hello?

…..why you little…so when I want you to answer, you ignore me! When I'm angry you ramble on and on about my previous lives that my supposedly immortal soul has been through, not realizing that it could land us both in a windowless, door less, airtight rubber room, dressed in a straight jacket!

….I feel dizzy…..

"Lils?" Alice asks at the bottom of the marble staircase.

I sway gently on the spot, gripping the hand rail, so I don't fall. I'm crazy. There. I said it! I'm completely mental! How feel about that sub-con- oh let's just call you Ralph!

….I have officially hit rock bottom. I've named my sub-conscience.

"Lily! If you're not gonna pass out, kindly depart your complicated brain, and join us for breakfast, and see the results of the Halloween Scare!" Gilda yells.

Not wanting to seem crazier than I already am, I run down the staircase, realizing that I'm somewhat hungry.

As we enter the Great Hall, more people are gossiping than usual. But Gryffindor Tower is the farthest away from the Slytherin Dungeons, so I guess if Gilda heard them from the common room, the rest of the school probably has.

"Did you hear them screaming? Apparently they woke up and saw their common room trashed, and their classmates' dead bodies all over, killed muggle style." One Hufflepuff girl said to his friend.

"Whoa, where they really dead though?"

"No, the bodies were dummies. The real people were stunned and locked in a broom closet."

"I bet it was the Marauders." Another Ravenclaw said to her friend.

"Maybe, but you know Mary McDonald? That whore in Gryffindor? She was showing me pictures of the Gryffindor costume party last night, and the Marauders were in quite a few of them."

Smiling to myself, I slide into the bench beside Alice, and look at the Head Table. The teachers are once again, chattering excitedly, but the Slytherin table is giving everyone, particularly us, murderous glares.

What could the news possibly be?

"Good morning dear ladies, I think our prank went off without a hitch last night, all thanks to Lily." Sirius slides into the bench beside Gilda and kisses her. Awwwwwww, aren't they so cute?

"Yeah, just look at the look on Narcissia Black's face." Remus says.

"I can't believe you still won't tell me where you were last night." Potter grumbles.

"All in good time Prongsie boy!"

I raise an eyebrow.

"Why, you don't trust your best mates Sirius?" I ask through a sip of coffee.

"No, I trust them with manly stuff, not girly stuff Lilykins."

"What?" Peter gasps. "You've undergone gender-bending surgery?"

Everyone looks over at him. "I knew it!" James shouts out with delight. "That's why you're still a virgin! You have girl parts, but you're straight!"

"Well, anyone care to test James' theory?" Remus says. Sirius, who's been staring at his best friends open-mouthed, finally comes to.

"What do you mean, test his theory? You're not gonna- oh no…." His eyes widen in fear.

Remus nods his head evilly. "Oh no Padfoot. The correct answer is oh yes." And without warning, he raises his knee and with the force of his inner werewolf, hits Sirius' groin area.

"!" he screams. "Moony, how could you?"

Ouch. I think he just burst my eardrums. And judging by the moans of the rest of the great hall, it's not just my eardrums he popped.

Remus smirks. "Consider that payback for walking into my shower time this morning Sirius. And boys, I believe that answered your questions."

"You evil, evil EVIL being! I think I just lost the ability to go tinkle!" Sirius wails, clutching his crotch.

"Oh please, you're over exaggerating. It'll go away." Remus smirks. "Eventually." He adds.

"Evil," Sirius moans. Gilda is seems to be torn between pity for her boyfriend, and exploding with laughter.

The rest of the Marauders seem to be unaffected. Apparently, this happens a lot.

"Ahehem" Someone clears their throat behind us. McGonagall is looking particularly fearsome today.

"It seems as if the entire Slytherin house was woken in the middle of the night by screaming, having found the supposedly dead bodies of some of their house mates, who were later found in a broom closet. Their common room was also trashed. Now, _explain yourselves_."

"Someone did that? AWSOME!" Sirius then catches the look on McGonagall's face. "I mean, um that's um, terrible."

"Mr. Black, are you sure you and your fellow friends didn't pull this prank?"

"Well yeah, because see Minnie," The professor flinches at the nickname, "Remus always plans out the pranks and we put them into action, and if you very well remember, last night was the full moon and the annual Gryffindor house Halloween masquerade, so Remus obviously wasn't there and we wouldn't miss our last opportunity to dress up, would we boys?"

The boys all shake their heads.

"Besides, we were with these ladies last night, weren't we?"

Gilda nods her head "They actually were professor, see look" She took a handful of pictures out of her bag, showing them. "They're from the party last night. Look, there's Remus as a bird, then Sirius dressed up as Puff the Magic Dragon, and James as a pirate, and look, there's Peter in a mouse costume!"

Aha! She sneaked fake photos into Mary's pile! Gilda, you sneaky, sneaky, girl!

"A rat." Peter says suddenly.

"What?"

"I was dressed up as a rat."

"Ooookay."

"So these young men never left the common room last night?"

"No, I think they were a tad too worried about Remus to prank anyone last night."

"Fine." She looks a little doubtful though, I mean, they are the Marauders. And with that, she walks back to the Head Table.

"Phew." Sirius sighs. "Thanks for the backup plan my little black and white film!" He hugs her.

"Eh, it never hurts to be prepared."

Everyone seems to be impresses, well except for Alice. She's staring at Frank, who usually eats meals with the Marauders. Although he's not in their inner circle, he's still quite good friends with them. I nudge her with my foot.

"Why don't you ask him out?" I whisper.

She goes bright red. "NO!"

I sigh.

"Pass the sugar please James." I say.

Everyone stops. Remus's fork clatters onto his plate. Even Sirius gets up from his fetal position and stares at me.

"What?"

"You called me James." The devil himself says.

Oh, shit! But I just couldn't help it you know, his name just sounds so delicious rolling off of my tongue. And RALPH! How dare you contaminate my thoughts!

"That _is_ your name isn't it?" I say.

"Yes but," He grins that little dimpled smile again. He's so cute…..

"Can I have the sugar now?"

"Oh, right." He passes it over to me, the smile still on his face.

Everyone's still staring at me. Actually, Sirius is also wagging his eyebrows at me, as if to say, 'You're so falling for him.'

I give him my most dangerous 'I'll get you later stare'.

He instantly recoils back. Peter's mouth is open, and Remus is trying to keeps it shut with the end of his fork, but it just keeps popping open again.

"You dirty little hypocrite! How can you try to get her to do that, when you won't do it yourself?" Gilda yells at Alice. I forgot to mention, they are having one of their silent arguments again.

"Just a suggestion." Alice grumbles, her gaze going back to Frank.

The Marauders look at me questioningly. I shrug my shoulders.

"It's this thing they do." I explain. "They spent so much time together that they can practically read each other's minds. Of course, it's frustrating how you can never tell what they're talking about until one of them bursts."

"How come you can't?" Remus says, playing tug of war with Sirius for the last croissant. "Padfoot, give it here! You already had six of them!"

"I'm a growing boy!"

"Merlin Sirius, then what'll happen when you stop growing?" I ask.

"Then I shall grow obese, yet I'll still be incredibly sexy!"

Gilda laughs. "You think you'll still be incredibly sexy after you grow obese?"

"AHA! So you admit you find me incredibly sexy!"

"Mhmmmmmmm," She says, kissing the end of his nose.

"YES!" In Sirius's moment of distraction, Remus has grabs the croissant, flinging his arms back, and hitting Hagrid who is just passing by.

"Oh, sorry Hagrid!"

Hagrid just smiles. "'Ello Remus."

I suddenly get an idea. "Hey Hagrid, d you know what the surprise is?" I can feel the atmosphere around me pick up.

His beetle black eyes twinkle. "Sorry Lily, you'll just 'ave to wait with the rest of the school to find out."

We all groan.

"But don't worry, look, some of them students are leaving already." And with that he waves goodbye and proceeds to the Entrance Hall.

"NOOOOOOOOO! First my crotch, then my croissant?" Sirius wails again, finally realizing that Remus is munching happily on his croissant.

Remus sticks his tongue out at him.

"Anyways Lily," He says, turning to me. "You were saying?"

"Well, ever since I became a prefect, I haven't been able to spend as much time with them, and you know these two, they can never keep quiet, so after Lena and Mary's sixty-second screaming match about how they were so loud and how they don't respect other people, they learned to argue silently."

"Actually, we had seventy six screaming matches." Alice says proudly.

I nod my head. "And all of them were about the same thing."

James lets out a low whistle. "And so they communicate silently."

Yes, I've decided to call him James, but only in my head! His name is just so god damn sexy!

_Good for you._

Who invited you Ralph? Go back to lurking in the dark corners of my brain!

_Oh, so now I'm Ralph?_

Yes, yes you are!

"Uh, Wormtail, what are you doing?" James asks nervously.

"Hm? I'm trying to practice my silencio charm."

"NO PETE! Remember what happened the last time you tried to do that spell?" Sirius screams.

"What happened?" Gilda says curiously.

"Well, let's just leave it at, it wasn't pretty. If you really wanna know, Pete, kindly try your spell, but aim it at the Slytherin table. Oh, and do it non-verbally." James says.

"Now, everyone, if you value the fact that you look human, DUCK!" Sirius yells as Peter starts to say the incantation.

One FLASH and BANG later, half the Slytherin table is making horrible retching noises, as if they've got something nasty stuck in their throat.

"And that, my dear Slytherins, was our Halloween prank! But don't worry the effects should wear off in a couple of hours!" James calls from under the table as a couple Slytherins actually vomit in their plates.

"See? I told you Wormtail can be dangerous when he wants to!" Sirius says, reaching across to pat Peter on the back.

I look at my watch. Nine o'clock. The first class should have started already.

"Alright seventh years! Kindly move up to the front so we can have our little discussion!" Dumbledore calls.

We all look at each other, shrug and silently get up to sit closer to the teachers.

As we sit down again, I notice that Frank is being extra careful to sit next to Alice.

Oh you stupid boy! Ask her out already!

_Who's the hypocrite now?_

Do you think if I hit my head hard enough, Ralph won't be able to communicate with me?

Somehow, James has landed in the seat beside me, and leans forward across the table to see the professors better, giving me full view of his deliciously masculine jaw line.

Okay Ralph! You can stop contaminating my thoughts now!

But really, his jaw line just wants to make me run my fingertips over it and…..

SERIOUSLY RALPH? SERIOUSLY? Just because I agreed to call him James does not mean I agreed to have weird fantasies about him!

Shuddering, I tear my eyes away from him, and face the front.

Dumbledore has a scroll of parchment in his hands.

"We, the educators of Hogwarts, decided that this year, we would let the seventh years go on a little trip."

And almost immediately, there is an outburst of excited murmuring.

"Hey! Where are we going?" One Slytherin boy shouts.

"I was getting to that Mr. Avery." Dumbledore says, his eyes twinkling. "But, you will not all have the same destinations. Some of you will be in the Americas, some in the Sothern Hemisphere, some in Europe. You have been placed into five groups of eight. One group will be going to Australia, three groups to the Americas, and one group will be in Europe."

"So, will there be teachers chaperoning us or something?" A Ravenclaw asks.

"Oh I hope we get Minnie." Sirius murmurs to James.

He chuckles in response.

"No, we will accompany you to no further than Heathrow airport. After-''

"Airport? We're going by muggle airplane? That's dangerous!" Someone else shouts.

"No, Mr. Buttonville, it's not. For one, it's not a broomstick, so you can't fall out. Now, as I was saying, after that, you are on your own for three glorious days. Of course you will be provided with hotel accommodations and food, and muggle currency. Yes, Mr. Malfoy, I said muggle currency. The point of this trip is to learn to associate with muggles, so of course you will have to give up your wands for these three days."

A collective groan escapes almost every student's lips. Me? I don't see what's wrong. Seeing my pureblood classmates trying to use a telephone will be jolly fun!

McGonagall steps forward. "Yes, no wands! It'll be the perfect opportunity to learn the ways of non magic folk!"

I hear angry whispers from the Slytherin table.

Well, whoever's group I'm in, it better not have those nasty Slytherins in it.

"Now, let's read the groups shall we?" McGonagall take the scroll from Dumbledore. "Lumberwood, Malfoy, Ms. Bellatrix Black, Snape, Avery, Lovlangel, Monopolis, and Hitchback shall be paying a visit to Amsterdam, in Holland."

Oh no, they've placed three Hufflepuffs with five Slytherins! That can't be good!

"I've heard Amsterdam's red light district is _quite_ the site to see." Dumbledore says cheerfully.

McGonagall gives Dumbledore a warning look. Hehehehe, looks like the students weren't supposed to know that little bit of information.

"Moving on. Lestrange, Mulciber, Ms. Black, Pepilone, Smith, Chang, Yukon, and Duff shall be going to Sydney, Australia."

"It isn't called Oz without good reason!" Dumbledore adds in yet again. Is he going to be commenting the whole time?

Hmmm, that's all the Slytherins. Looks like the teachers realized the relationship between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins is a little more than friendly house rivalry. On the bright side, there's no way anyone will be calling me mudblood the whole time of the trip.

"Longbottom, Fuller, Clearwater, Joshkins, Mathews, McKinnon, Fizmore, and Abbot will be going to Los Angeles, America."

"I hear if you know the right place to go, you'll find muggle celebrities." Any guess to who that was?

Don't they make movies in Los Angeles?

McGonagall adjusts the script. "McDonald, Janzernot, Prewitt, Lovegood, Green, Orchards, Miller, and Buttonville will be going to New York City, also in America."

"So many _tall _buildings." Dumbledore mumbles to himself, smiling.

"Oh Merlin, New York has _so _many shopping opportunities." Mary says to Lena.

Well, good luck bitches, on figuring out American currency.

Hold on…almost the entire class has been called…except for…

"And finally, Pettigrew, Evans, Black, Zabey, Lupin, Potter, Elvango, and Jones will be in Toronto, Canada."

For some reason, Dumbledore smiles at my horrified expression.

Three days in a foreign city with the Marauders? Merlin, help me. I honestly don't think I'll survive that.

Everyone else in my group though, looks excited.

"When are we leaving?" Sirius yells out, jumping up and down like a puppy dog.

Dumbledore smiles. "As soon as you all get packed. And mind you, muggle clothing, and no robes."

We're going now? That would mean I only have three days to live! I'm too young to die! Should I write a will? I'll start now!

THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF LILY ROSE EVANS

To Ralph, my sub-conscience, I leave my sanity, and my immortal soul….

A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE! Now, normally, I would be apologizing for the late update, but I don't really think I'm late. If I'm late by your standards, then I'm sorry. And might I remind any _friends_ reading this, that the next time you leave a review saying 'update or I will find you because I know you,' kindly make sure I'm aware you have an account on fanfiction, or I will be too freaked out to update for the next six months.

Now about the little contest….my standards, the first person with the right answer wins. Now, 99.9% of you were right. The problem is, some of you wrote your answer as a question mark. I mean, answers, you have to be sure of them right? I ignored that this time, but if I do this again, I don't want questioning answers, Kapeesh? So, without further ado, the winner is…..drum roll please…..Opinionated1234! Congrats to you! You, my dear, were the first person with the right answer! Would you like a cupcake?

Now about the destination of the trip, why Toronto you ask? To tell you the truth, I would've loved Lily's group to go somewhere romantic, like Paris, but unfortunately, I know little to nothing about Paris. So, I had to go with the place I knew inside and out. So there you go! And thanks a billion to all the people who left me reviews, and participated in my topsy turvy silly contest. I think I'll do one next chapter.


	16. Bye Ralph!

DISCLAIMER: Not mine.

**Chapter 16**

**Bye Ralph!**

"LILS! Are you coming? We leave in an hour, and we can only bring muggle clothing."

I look down from the enchanted ceiling. The sun, so it seems, is shining brightly. I wonder if there's this much sun in Toronto. I've heard it's colder than here, will it be snowing?

….huh. It's just November…snow?

"You go on Gils; I'll be there in a minute." I call back.

Three days with Gilda and the Marauders, and no Alice to back me up?

MERLIN HELP ME!

"Nervous?" A sexy, male voice asks me.

I turn around and see James, grinning.

Oh, no not this again…didn't we already go over this? His voice is not sexy, and it most definitely does not make me want to jump up and snog the living daylights out of him!

"About what?" I inquire, narrowing my eyes.

"Spending three days on the other side of the Atlantic ocean with the one and only Marauders."

"Ha." I snort, trying not to show that the fact actually terrifies me. "You wish. I'd love to see you try being a muggle for three days."

His answering smile is dazzling and his bright hazel eyes twinkle behind the round spectacles. "With you and Remus there, what is there to worry about?"

I sigh and against my deepest wishes, smile a little.

"Besides," He adds, "I can learn to be a muggle. It's not like I'm going to be living in an all wizarding community for the rest of my life."

Now that _is_ surprising. "You're not?"

"Nah, probably not. The best fun you get out of life is making sure the neighbors don't see you playing Quidditch or brewing potions in your backyard."

I grin. That certainly sounds interesting.

_See, I told you he was an interesting boy._

Oh Ralph, did you have to come back now?

_Well, I was mad at you, but I couldn't help it. I'm the first person on your will? You DO care about me!_

You're not exactly a person, and note how I'm not screaming at you.

_I've noticed, and it's kind of nice._

Why don't you just go back to the inner confines of my brain?

_Like I said, I'm here to help you realize your love for James Potter._

Look RALPH, I was kind enough to name you, and now, just because I call him by his first name, doesn't mean I'm in love with him! Now, BE GONE!

_I don't lie, and neither do the patronuses. _

The patronuses? What in the name of Merlin was that? Ralph? RALPH? Hey! COME BACK HERE!

I sigh to myself. I honestly don't think having arguments with yourself is considered the least bit sane.

I internally shudder, and turn to James. "I'll see you at the portkey to Heathrow."

He wrinkles his brow in confusion. "Heathrow? I thought we were going to Toronto. Why are we going to Heathrow?"

I laugh. He's so bloody clueless. "We're taking the muggle way remember? Heathrow is the muggle airport in London."

All colour drains from his face, leaving his usually alabaster skin the colour of skim milk. "Airplanes?" He squeaks.

I laugh harder. "You'll be fine, don't worry about it." I pat his shoulder as I walk past him.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. Honestly, I didn't mean to! But I'm telling you, his shoulder is totally fi-ine!

I didn't say that by the way, did I mention that? Yup, that was Ralph, discovering new ways to mess with me.

I continue to walk to the dormitories, my fingertips tingling delightfully where they touched him.

Damn. Ralph is good. She can now mess with me without my knowledge.

A slim arm suddenly drapes across my shoulder. I jump in fright.

"Relax Lily, it's just me." Alice laughs, her dark blue eyes shining.

I sigh in relief. "Don't sneak up on me like that Alice, it's enough to give me nightmares for a whole week!"

"Ah, Lils, are you a scaredycat?"

Scaredycat? Me Lily Evans, SCAREDYCAT? I'll show her who's a SCAREDYCAT!

_Uh, excuse me for interrupting, but at 17 years old, you still check under your bed for monsters regularly._

Who invited you?

_I live in your brain, I don't need invitations. _

Says who?

_Says me. I said excuse me didn't I?_

Oh yeah?

_You're being ridiculous. Look, if you at least try to get to know James in these three days, I'll leave you alone for the whole duration. _

Now _you're _being ridiculous. Get to know the bane of my existence?

….fine. But one peep out of you, and I'll give myself a head injury.

With my temper under control, I look at Alice sneakily.

"So, I bet you're happy you're stuck with Frank for the next three days huh?" I say, waggling my eyebrows dementedly.

Other than blushing scarlet, she ignores me. "It would be better if you and Gilda were there."

"Yes, but think about it. You have it better without us. Gilda would probably be moping about how Sirius isn't there, and I'd be bothering you about Frank nonstop."

She considers that. "Yeah," She says slowly. "You're probably right." She smiles. "I'll send you a postcard saying 'Wish you were here, but not really.'"

I start to laugh as we climb through the portrait hole.

"And I, in return, shall send you a postcard saying 'Wish you were here, really! These lunatics are driving me up the wall!'"

We trudge up the staircase, laughing.

"There you two are! I need your help, have you seen my red coat?" Gilda says as she rummages around her trunk.

I stare at her. "Are you colour blind? You don't have a red coat."

She turns around slowly. "I don't?"

"No, it was grey. We just turned it red to match your boots once remember?"

She stares at me blackly for a second. "Oh yeah!" She claps herself on the forehead. "How could I have forgotten?"

She turns back towards the trunk and with a flourish, she retrieves her coat, a piece of old hard candy stuck to one of its black buttons.

"Aw, man." She grumbles, and sets to trying to slip her fingernails under the cherry drop to pry it free.

Uh, why is she doing it by hand? She knows she can just use her wand right?

"You do realize you're a witch right?" Alice asks, reading my mind.

Another blank stare. "Oh, Merlin's Bolognese dancing pants!" She finally cries. And with that she rummages in her bag for her wand and flicks it almost lazily at the stubborn piece of candy.

I shake my head. She's been clearly spending too much time with Sirius.

Apparently, the more emotion you put into an un-sticking charm, the more the force of the spell. So, the poor little cherry drop flies of and sticks ceremoniously to the back of Lena's tight black jeans.

We all look at each other, to contain our laughter.

_Don't tell her a thing. _Gilda mouths.

I grin and shake my head as I start to rummage around my trunk for muggle clothing.

"Hey Lils, I could use some help here!" Alice grunts as she struggles to zip a suitcase twice her size.

"Jeepers Alice, how much clothing do you need for three days?" I ask as I walk over to her bed.

"You never know when you might need a change of clothes!" She says as she uselessly pulls in the stubborn zipper.

McGonagall had come by a couple minutes ago and collected our wands, so I couldn't pull the 'you're a witch' thing.

I sigh as I jump on her suitcase.

"Now zip up," I say. "The canopy is digging into my scalp."

It truly is. I mean, it's not even smooth wood. It's like beams, and the edges I tell you, are _sharp_.

"Hold on." She grunts and groans as she finally manages to zip up the suitcase, and I rub where my head was making friends with the canopy of Alice's head.

I grin at her. Being a witch doesn't make you smarter than any other human being, you know.

**Insert evil laughter here.**

"What?" She asks, running a hand through her spiky blond hair. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You forgot the part where you actually have to lug that mammoth all the way down to the portkeys without magic."

Her face drains of colour.

"But, I have two great best friends that'll help me, right?" She asks hopefully.

"Not a chance. We have our own luggage to haul."

"But- but, look at the thing! It's almost bigger than me!"

I smile wickedly. Take that Alice. That's what you get for calling Lily Evans a scaredycat.

"Guess you should've thought of that before you decided to pack your entire wardrobe in there," I say, patting the suitcase as if it were a little child as I walk back to my own bed.

She sighs and rolls her eyes at me.

Oh damn, now I have to pack.

What to take? What to take? T-shirts, sweaters, jeans, a coat?

"YES!"

"What, Gil?" I ask without turning my head.

"Oh, I just found my green hat." She says, happily placing a ridiculously green beret on top of her head.

I just sigh and go back to folding a couple of sweaters, then close the lid of my small suitcase.

_Hm, no cocktail dresses?_

Why would I need cocktail dresses?

_No, reason, just asking._

Shut up Ralph.

"Ready?" Gilda says, hauling a polka dotted suitcase to the floor.

"Yeah." I say. "Just let me grab my shoes."

The only problem is, I don't know where my favourite sneakers are.

I take one more look in my trunk, nothing there but school uniforms and the customary black shoes.

"Did you try under you bed?" Alice says, grunting as she struggles to pull her suitcase to the door.

Oh damn! Under my bed! I slap myself on the forehead and duck underneath my four poster.

A thin layer of dust covers a few old quills, old essays, and a lone sock, and aha! The lime green lace of my sneakers! I hastily tug on the lace, unveiling the black fabric of the sole.

"See? Told you you'd find it under there. When in doubt, look under the bed." Alice says, wiping sweat from her brow. "Now come on. The sooner we get going, the sooner this burden will be taken from me."

Gilda laughs. "What did you put in there Alice? You do realize the trip is for three days right?"

"Yes, but still, just in case."

Gilda and I share a look.

"Well, then, come along girls, the portkeys leave in fifteen minutes." I say, rolling my suitcase to the dormitory door.

"Ugh, I don't think we're going to get there in under an hour if Alice has to drag that thing with her." Gilda complains.

Yeah, she's right. We should help her.

"Fine. Alice, consider yourself a very, very, _very_ lucky girl." I say as me and Gilda each grab one of the handles.

"YEAH!"

"Now, Alice dear, you get to take ours." Gilda says, handing over her zebra print suitcase and my plain black one.

"Fair enough."

Yes, fair enough indeed.

So I step forward, pulling the suitcase with me, and automatically spring back.

Damn that thing is heavy.

"Gil, you're supposed to push from the other side, yeah?"

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"Where on earth have you girls been? The portkeys leave in two minutes!" McGonagall says as she meets us at the bottom of the marble staircase.

"Sorry professor," I grunt. Heaving down Alice's suitcase down seven floors was quite a workout.

"Hurry along. There's the nearest portkey. Hurry! One minute!"

Gilda and I drag the suitcase along as fast as we can, joining the Marauders at a ripped up library book.

"Merlin, what is in that thing?" Remus asks just as we reach them.

"Ask Alice, it's her suitcase." I say just as the book starts to glow blue. I hurriedly put a finger on it and feel a tug at my navel pushing me forward in a swirl of colour.

My feet slam on the floor and I stumble back. Strong arms catch me and I realize it's James.

"Careful," He says smiling.

"Thanks," I say hastily, adjusting to my surroundings. We are in a empty corridor leaving to the lavatories.

Hm. Smart. I guess McGonagall and Dumbledore figured the muggles would find it odd if forty teenagers suddenly fell from the ceiling.

Speaking of Dumbledore and McGonagall, _what _are they wearing?

Dumbledore is currently fashioning a maroon tweed suit with a gold pocket watch dangling from a trouser pocket and his beard in little braids.

…..charming.

McGonagall, however, is wearing a severe emerald green business suit, her hair in its usual tight bun, her square spectacles perched on her strong nose.

"Seventh years, join your group mates. We will be coming around with airplane boarding tickets. As soon as you get them, you may proceed to your baggage handling counter. Your flights will be leaving anywhere from an hour to three hours." McGonagall calls.

I turn around and give Alice a great big hug.

"What am I going to do without you?"

"Aw, it's okay Lily, it's only three days. I'll be back before you know it." She says patting my back.

"Alice! I'm going to miss you dear friend!" Gilda says, snatching Alice away so she could hug her.

"Hey!" I say jokingly. "I wasn't done with her yet!"

"That's too bad. You weaken your grip, you lose."

I roll my eyes, and we all laugh.

"Well, I better get going," Alice waves at us one last time before proceeding to join Frank and their group. "Bye, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter." She yells over her shoulder.

"Bye Alice." They chorus, just as two Ravenclaw girls, Sophia and Jennifer join us.

"Oh, hello." Remus says smiling at them.

"Hi." Sophia says, coming to stand beside me will Jennifer rummages around her bag for her book.

"Hi." She says to all of us without looking up.

"Ah and here's the Toronto group." Dumbledore says cheerfully, his bright blue eyes twinkling merrily.

He takes several white strips of paper as he approaches us. "Now see here, each of you will get two, and must only use the one with today's date on it today. The other is for your return flight on Thursday. You walk up to the counter, and give them this ticket and your passports. You do all have passports, am I correct?" We all nod, and he smiles.

"Perfect. Then you will be asked to hand in your baggage to them and they in return will hand you another slip of paper called a boarding pass. You will not be permitted to board the plane unless you have the boarding pass with you. Is that clear Misters Potter and Black? These are not permitted to be made into paper airplanes. Understood?" He looks at them over the rim of his half-moon spectacles.

"Yes Professor Dumbledore." They chorus. Ha. I'll bet you my birthday money if they those two do don't get into trouble.

"Wonderful. When you arrive in Toronto, you will be staying at the Fairmont Royal York hotel. Just ask the taxi drivers to take you there."

Seems simple enough. But then again, my parents are muggles.

"Now," Dumbledore says gleefully. "We must deal with money. It's quite a tricky matter, as muggle currency is different in every country, so you must pay attention. Now, where did I put that Canadian currency?" He rummages around in his jacket before emerging with wads of paper bills and several handfuls of different size coins.

Knowing normal British currency, I'm sure I'll be able to figure things out.

"Now, their currency is in dollars, and cents. 100 cents is equal to one dollar." He holds up a blue coloured bill. "This is a five dollar bill. And see right here? It says five dollars, you can't possibly forget it. Unless you get a severe case of muggle Alzheimer's of course.

He holds up three other bills. "The purple is a ten dollar bill, and the green one with the picture of the queen of England is the twenty dollar bill, and the red is a fifty dollar bill. Kapeesh?"

"Kapeesh?"

"Why are they so colourful? Do we have to remember all of them?

"Why is the queen of England on their bill?"

"That, Mr. Lupin, is something even I could not fathom. Canadians seem to be a little on the loopy side sometimes." Dumbledore says, ignoring Peter and Sirius's silly questions except for a quick wink in their direction.

"Oh."

"And now my dear children, time for the coins. This big one, with the polar bear, is called a toonie, and it has a value of two dollars, while this smaller one, with the loon, is a loonie, and it's one dollar." He holds up two coins, the bigger one brass and silver while the smaller one is just brass.

Do we have to remember all of this?

"They have names for their one billion and one types of coins too? By the time we get used to the money, we'll have to come back to Hogwarts!" Sirius complains.

"Relax Padfoot. We'll get the hang of it soon." Remus reassures him.

"Soon isn't soon enough!"

Remus just rolls his eyes at smiles slightly at Sirius's choice of words.

"I assure you Mr. Black, the money is nowhere near as complex as it seems. Now, these coins also have their value written on them, so it shouldn't be two hard I should say. Now, this one, with the picture of a moose, is a quarter, and is 25 cents, the dime, with the ship, 10 cents, the nickel, with the beaver, is 5 cents, and this brass one with the maple leaf is one cent is called a penny."

"Now," Dumbledore smiles at us all. "Everything clear? I hope so, because you really have to get going. My talkative mouth has already talked too much, and your plane leaves in an hour. Now, here's the money, as I have no need for it, and spend wisely children. We don't want you to go hungry by tomorrow." Dumbledore muses as he hands us all a stack of the bills and coins.

He smiles as if something amuses him as we all stuff the money into wallets, pockets, and bags.

"Well then, my work here is done! Now skedaddle along, and I will see you back here in three days. Bon Voyage!" He waves merrily as he struts off, his pockets looking considerably lighter.

"I swear that man has gone bonkers. Who the hell would be happy to hand out a bags' full of money to a bunch of teenagers and put them on a plane to some foreign country for fun? He's up to something." Sophia mutters to herself.

You know, she's right.

"Maybe he wants to make the NEWTs extra hard this year, and wants an excuse to do it without us being able to complain." I say.

"Maybe."

"Merlin, why is there so many types of money? Moony, did you understand a word Dumbledore said?" James says as we start for the baggage counters.

"Yes, it's quite simple, because like he said, the money has its value written on it." Remus says stuffing the last few bills in his satchel.

"You, know, I really don't see what you three don't understand. It's not that hard actually, if you listen." Sophia says, zipping up her plain blue sweater, a change from the usual billowing black Hogwarts uniform.

Come to think of it, this is the first time I've seen Jennifer and Sophia in anything other than our uniforms.

Sophia and Jennifer are wearing simple jeans and blouses with light sweaters on top. Sophia seems to be the daredevil of the two, as she's wearing sparkly pink flats and with her curly black hair pulled up into a twist held by a butterfly clip, and a sweep of pink eye shadow across her lids, while Jennifer's mouse brown hair is tied back in a low ponytail, her face bare of any makeup and wearing her usual Hogwarts shoes.

"Yes well, why listen when you have Moony along with you?" Sirius grins.

"What I really don't understand though, is your nicknames. Why do you call Remus Moony? Does he like to moon people perhaps?" Jennifer pushes back a lock of mouse brown hair that's slipped out of her ponytail out of her eyes.

Sirius and James burst out laughing, while Peter seems be slightly uncomfortable, and me a Gilda share a look.

"No? Well then, don't worry; I wasn't placed into Ravenclaw for nothing. I'll figure it out." Jennifer smiles.

"Aw, it's okay Remus, not many people know your nickname anyway," James says, patting the top of Remus's sandy hair, who has blushed scarlet to the roots of his hair.

Remus glares at James.

"Oh look!" Peter squeaks. "We're here. Anybody know what our airline is?"

"It's Air Canada Wormy, just look on your ticket." James says, surveying the counters.

"Now, what shall we do on our first muggle interaction? Be a muggle, or confuse them with our imaginary friend Voldemort?" Sirius puts an arm around Gilda.

"Doing that will only waste time Sirius. Just follow my example." I say, walking forward until I reach the counter that says Air Canada, Toronto, 10:05am.

As I approach the counter, a chubby lady in a navy uniform smiles at me.

"Hello dear, you in this flight?"

"Yes." I say, feeling seven pairs of eyes on me.

"Alrighty then. Can I see your ticket and passport please?"

She starts to hum as I hand her both.

She suddenly glances over my shoulder and laughs quietly.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

"That young man over there seems to be quite attracted to you dear." She says, checking my passport.

"Who?" I squeak. I really don't need some pot-smoking-muggle-pervert-boy chasing after me.

"The tall one with the messy hair and round glasses. He's such a handsome chap."

"Oh." I sigh in relief. She's just talking about James.

"You know, in my day, we would do almost anything to get a lad's attention. But look at you lassie, you don't need to do nothing except show your pretty face in public!"

"Oh- er, okay?" I squeak again.

"Now can you please put your suitcase in the conveyer belt? Thank you." She bends down and wraps a label with some code around the handle as I do what she wants.

"Alright dear. Here's your boarding pass. This is your seat number, and that's the gate number." She circles them in pen. "Don't lose them now."

"Alright, thank you." I say. How could she say that James is attracted to me? She just met me!

"Enjoy your flight."

"Thank you." I say again, my head swimming as I walk back to my friends.

I mentally shake my head.

"See? I say, that wasn't so hard was it? Just do what I did."

"Alright. Seems simple enough." Gilda grabs Sirius's hand as she walks toward the counter.

"Oh hey! Look! There's our gate!" James cries.

"Oh finally." Remus says. "My satchel isn't getting any lighter."

"Where? I don't see a gate." Sirius looks around confusedly.

"It's not an actual gate silly. It's just a term for a place that you board an airplane in." Gilda says rolling her eyes.

Isn't she a pureblood?

"And how exactly do you know that?" I ask.

"My favorite uncle's a muggleborn." She smiles sheepishly. "I spend a lot of time with him."

Ah.

You, know, my mind seems awfully quiet without the presence of Ralph….

A/N: Okay, so not exactly what I wanted, I did ramble a wee too much and I couldn't really get my thoughts across…..and yes, I'm sorry for the late update…..maybe my writer's block will go away in a few days….March Break's almost here….should have more time to update…..maybe I'll update twice during March Break if you're nice to me…


	17. Shut Up Ralph!

DISCLAIMER: Not mine.

A/N: See? A chapter during March Break, just like I promised. Don't I deserve a review now? (Wink, nudge wink) Enjoy! And happy spring!

**Chapter 17**

**Shut Up Ralph**

Seat 23A, 23A…..where the hell is seat 23A? WHERE THE HELL IS SEAT 23-FREAKIN'-A?

_I don't know, have you tried checking the numbers above the seats?_

Didn't you promise to leave me alone?

_No, I promised to be quiet for this trip if you tried to get to know James. And you clearly have been doing nothing at all to get closer to this scrumptious fellow. _

It's been one hour!

_And your point is? So much for having a peaceful state of mind huh?_

Why do I argue with myself in the first place?

_I've been wondering that for quite some time now._

SHUT UP RALPH!

I look above the seats for the numbers. AHA! Seat 21, 22, and 23! Now which is A? The window seat, the middle or the aisle?

"Lily, is 22A the window seat?" Gilda asks.

There. I told you I wasn't stupid. Even Gilda can't figure it out. These people need to clearly write which seat is which.

"I dunno, I was actually trying to figure that out myself." I call back.

"Let's look at this logically," Remus says, coming up behind me. "The label says 23A B C. so we can assume that if we are doing this in English style, B would be the middle seat, A the window, and C the aisle."

Hm. That actually makes some bit of sense.

"Remus da-rling, you are a mar-villous genius!" I drawl in my signature fashion designer to the stars accent.

"Er, thank you?" Remus looks at me weirdly.

What? Well, I got the window seat, let's torture Moony some more!

_Are you okay?_

I'm del-ightful, thank you very much Ralph!

"Remus da-rling, that shirt of yours does not go at _all_ with your lovely face. It's too much….blah. What your _really_ need is a nice, airy, Egyptian cotton tunic in the same shade as your eyes. Don't you think that would look _lovely _Gilda?" I turn away from Remus's dumfounded expression to Gilda, who is busy trying to stuff her carry-on bag in the overhead compartment.

"Wha-? Oh yes, that would look lovely on him, except, what's an Egyptian tunic?"

I gasp dramatically. "Gilda! I'm so disappointed in you!"

"Okay!" She says cheerfully, thumping down in her seat.

"You should've done your research first Lily. Egyptians believe in dying their all-natural cotton tunics in only earthy colours. You wouldn't find one in the colour of Remus's eyes." Sophia says flopping down in her seat across the aisle.

"His are too…..bright. Or is it just the light? Either way, they don't dye their tunics blue. _And, _Their tunics only look good on their dark skinned fellows who are a bit brawny. Unfortunately, Remus here is too Caucasian and too scrawny."

"Hey!" Remus shouts indignantly. I'm seventeen! I think I'm a little too old to be scrawny!"

"Yes, because I'm sure you develop a lot of muscle cooped up in the library all day." Sirius says snickering, taking his seat beside Gilda.

"And who exactly Sirius, flew around the Quidditch pitch throwing muggle golf balls around so you can practice your beater skills?"

"Hey! I said thank you!"

"Golly Sophia! You're right! He'd get lost in the tunic! What about Bermuda surfer shorts?" I say, sitting down in the window seat.

"As long as they come in bright blue…." She says cheerfully.

Remus just smiles and rolls his eyes a bit.

"You are doing that on purpose, yeah Lily? Or did Sirius slip you some weird potion in your pumpkin juice this morning?" James sits down beside me.

He's sitting next to me for eight straight hours? Holy shit!

"NO, I don't drink pumpkin juice." I say back.

"Why not?"

"Eh, I'm not really a fan of pumpkins, ever since-"

Oh no! He can't find out about that! I hurriedly clamp my hand over my mouth.

_Awwwwwww, still embarrassed? It wasn't that bad…_

YES IT WAS, NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!

He looks at me curiously, his hazel eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Cabin crew, kindly take your seats, we will be taking off shortly. Passengers, please fasten your seatbelts, pull chairs into their upright positions, and make sure all food trays are in their place. Thank you, and enjoy your flight." A crisp, male voice comes over the speaker.

Of course, it's nothing compared to James's voice…..I DID NOT JUST THINK THAT!

Speaking of, James looks up at the ceiling.

"Who said that?"

"I think it was the one of the pilots on the intercom." I say to him, fiddling with my seatbelt.

"Intercom?"

"A device that is used to transmit a voice to different areas." Remus says as if reading from a text book.

"O-Kay?" From his tone of voice, James still has no idea what an intercom is.

The plane's engines start to hum.

"We're not going to die, yeah?"

I roll my eyes.

"No, James, we are not going to die. If we were, would Dumbledore even let us go in this trip?" I say playfully as the plane starts toward the runway.

He doesn't look convinced.

"Here," I say, pulling up the shutter of the window. "You can always look outside, and it's always a nice view, especially when we go through clouds. It's like you're in a whole different world, 'coze you never see the hustle and bustle of the city, or the air pollution. And everything always looks so tiny from up there. And things look ten times more fascinating from the air than they do from the ground."

He leans across me slightly to look out the window. As he does, his ever messy locks brush by face, they're oh so soft and I just wanna run my hands through his hair and pull-

WAIT A MINUTE! RALPH! STOP CONTAMINATING MY THOUGHTS!

_I can't. I'm your sub-conscious mind remember? I can only contaminate your dreams, this is all you._

No it's not! Lily Evans never has romantic thoughts about James Potter!

_Maybe you're not the Lily Evans you were four months ago. Maybe you've finally grown up, and still refuse to admit it._

Ugh.

"It sounds just like Quidditch, that's the same feeling I get when I'm flying." James breaths, turning back to look at me.

His eyes…so….bloody….GORGEOUS!

That really was me, wasn't it?

Oh dear…..

"Su-Sure. Like that." I say, trying hard not to fall over. Actually, if my seat was not in the upright position right now, I probably _would_ fall over.

He smiles a breathtaking smile as he sits back and the plane starts to pick up speed.

Eek…

The engines rumble tremendously and as I look out the window, the shutters on the wings flip downwards and the plane jumps up, pressure flattens my stomach against my spine before the plane automatically adjusts.

"Ga." I can hear Sirius gasp.

"Holy Merlin." James mutters. "Was that supposed to happen?"

"Yeah." I whisper. "As the altitude of the plane goes up, the pressure of the air in the airplane goes down, so the plane has to adjust, because the pressure in our bodies and outside of our bodies has to be the same."

"And if it's not?"

I smile wickedly. "We go boom boom!" I say cheerfully.

All the colour drains from his face, making him look like a ghost under his shock of black hair.

Remus, who is sitting on the other side of James, laughs quietly.

"Relax James. No one's going to make us go…'boom boom' as Lily so cleverly put it."

"What's gonna go 'boom boom'?" Sirius turns around to look at James as the plane finally levels out.

"We are!" I say.

"WHAT?"

"No, we are not Lily, don't feed Sirius false accusations." Remus says.

"Uh, why would we even?" Sophia asks from behind me.

"Oh, just that the pressure in our bodies and the pressure on the outside of our bodies has to be the same, otherwise we would physically combust." I automatically switch back to my previous tone.

"Like, we would actually and literally explode?" Jennifer asks.

"Yup."

"Ew."

"It's not ew Jen."

"Uh, yeah, it is. Just imagine someone exploding."

"Ugh, yeah, you're right."

A quiet rattling approaches, much like the food trolley on the Hogwarts Express, but instead of the plump lady in the striped robes, it is manned by a young brunette in the same navy uniform as the lady behind the baggage claim counters.

"Would any of you like anything to drink?" Which is a quite a shock, as her pleasant voice isn't in the familiar British accent I'm so used to hearing. Instead, it's American, with a bit of a silly twang to it.

"Soda, Juice, milk, water, and I think you are all under nineteen to you obviously can't have alcohol. Or is the law for drinking age different in England?"

James looks at her like she's just grown three heads dripping green saliva.

Remus takes a quick look at James, snickers and turns back to the lady.

"Just some lemon soda would be great, thank you."

James opens his mouth to request Butterbeer no doubt, but I cut him off.

"I'll have a Butter- what?" He asks me as I smack him on the head.

"We'll both have a Coke, thanks."

"Sure." As she hands us our drinks, I immediately lean forward to the space between the seat in front of me and the window and whisper quickly in Gilda's ear.

"Don't let Sirius and Peter order wizard drinks, it'll blow our cover. Just ask for orange soda and coke."

"Wha? Oh okay. Don't they have wine or something?" She raises her head from Sirius's shoulder.

"We're not of age in the muggle world remember? Besides, they can't drink until they're nineteen apparently." I hiss just as the nice lady speaks to Peter.

"Oh. Yes, two cokes and an orange soda please."

Sirius and Peter look at her like she's crazy.

"Two what's and a what?" Sirius asks, his stormy gray eyes narrowing in confusion.

"They're muggles remember?" She mutters to him in a low voice.

"Ah."

I sigh, and turn back to Sophia and Jennifer. Jennifer's reading one of the magazines on great Canadian landscapes she found in the seat pouch and Sophia is smirking at me as she sips her orange juice.

"This is what I go through every day." I say waggling my eyebrows.

She grins. "It's good having muggle blood isn't it?"

"Oh yeah."

I turn back around to see James sniffing his cup of fizzy black liquid as if a Death Eater just dumped it with something suspicious.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I take a sip from my own. Ah, tastes just like it does at home.

"What is this?"

"Coke, short for Coca-Cola, the muggle equivalent of Butter Beer." I say.

"So why is it bubbling like my Everlasting Nose Boils potion?"

I cough up, spluttering. "Everlasting Nose Boils?"

"Yes."

"_Why?"_

"Different reasons." He smiles wickedly, his full lips exposing his white teeth.

"Ugh. Just drink it. It's good."

He looks at me suspiciously, then cautiously, sips from the cup.

"Whoa."

"Exactly."

A big grin stretches across his features, creating that adorable left sided dimple again.

"So is this considered healthy, because I can just drink galleons of this."

"Not the least bit. It's full of sugar."

"Sugar?" Sirius pipes up. "Awesome!"

"Oh Remy! Does yours taste the same as mine?" James says excitedly as he snatches Remus's soda from his hands, just as Sirius snatches Peter's.

Two indignant protests fill the airplane and everyone within three seats turns to look at us.

Uh-oh.

_Too right you are._

Shut up Ralph.


	18. Mr Taxi

**DISCLAIMER: I still own nothing.**

**A/N: Hey….wazzup dear readers? Enjoy….and if you like it, you know you can always leave me a little somethin somethin. **

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Mr. Taxi**

Throughout all my life, I've never been this confused. Sure, once when I was five, my poor old mum gave me the ultimate ultimatum.

"_Lily dear, would you like a lemon ice lolly or a strawberry cone?" _

Even after twelve years, I still remember being dumbstruck. Sweet, tangy, melt-on-the-mouth lemon ice lolly, or creamy, sweet, and juicy strawberry cone?

I even remember chewing nervously on one of my bright red pigtails, until Petunia took my hand away, muttering something about shampoo poisoning.

When I think about it now, it seemed completely small and childish compared to later on as Petunia and I's sisterly relationship got more strained as the years went on.

One day during the summer of my second year at Hogwarts, I got really brave and confronted Petunia. Sometimes I feel that if I hadn't, we'd still be on sort of speaking terms. I didn't understand how one moment before I'd gotten my Hogwarts letter, we'd been friends, and the next moment we'd been pure, hostile enemies battling for the favourite daughter slot. Of course, mummy and daddy just loved their two flowers equally…..

But I guess ad soon as you bring a boy, (or a man) into your life, your life becomes ten times as more confused.

Sometimes I get the feeling that our love lives would be so much easier if there was some sort of book or spell to know exactly what goes on in the male mind. Especially when you're so sure that you absolutely hate someone, and they're the bane of your existence for six years, then the start of seventh year, bada bing, bada boom! He's super handsome, super sexy, super sensitive, and everytime he happens to smile at you, you melt into a puddle of goo.

Yes, I am talking about the obnoxious, funny, incredibly sexy, toe-rag like James Potter. It's funny. I can't seem to stop calling him a toe-rag, or obnoxious, or balloon-headed, thought from what I can tell, those character traits don't really apply to him anymore. So it seems safe to say that, I hate James Potter no longer.

Actually, I'm not exactly sure what my feelings are for him, you know? One's thing is for sure though; my feelings for him have definitely changed since last June. I no longer mutter to myself at the dinner table about what an awkward, cocky, and obnoxious little boy he is. I no longer wake up screaming in cold sweat from nightmares in which James Potter is my boss, banker, grocer, gardener, and the father of my poor sweet children all at once. I no longer cuss at him, slap him, curse, and jinx or hex him. Instead, I find myself absentmindedly daydreaming about his bright hazel eyes in class, twirling my hair around a finger as I watch his ebony locks flutter in light breezes. I've never felt this way about anyone, ever. Not Chester in kindergarten, who won me over with his honey blond hair, not Adam in grade school when he used to chase me around the playground, and definitely not Trump the summer before I started Hogwarts, who had the bluest of blue eyes I'd ever seen. No, this is definitely different. I never hated those childish little boys. I never had nightmares, or daymares about them. But then again, my heart never started working overtime when they so happen to glance at me. I never melted like ice-cream in the middle of July whenever they smiled at me. I never likened their voices to a symphony composed by a master. Oh this is different all right. I just hope I figure things out. Soon. Because I think I might be in danger of falling in love with my worst enemy.

_That's the spirit. I knew you'd come around._

Who invited you?

_Do we really have to go through this again? I. Don't. Need. An. Invitation._

Well, for one, you promised to stay out of my head for the next three days, and did you? No. We haven't reached our destination yet, and you've already broken it! Two, you're the reason all my friends and teachers think I'm demented!

_That was your own doing. I don't have the ability to swoop in other people's heads and mess with their minds. That's called changing fate, and fate should be in the hands of the fates. It doesn't matter how old I am, I'm only a sub-conscience. It's Lily that makes people think, but it's Ralph that makes Lily think._

Aha! So you admit that you're making people think I'm crazy!

_Do you really think people thought you were sane before I started talking to you? Have your friends treated you any differently since you started hearing me in your head? Just admit it sweetheart, you are crazy. How many people do you know that can directly communicate with their inner selves? You make your own choices. I can only steer you toward the right one. _

…You. Are. Absolutely. Nuts.

_And so are you._

Shut up Ralph.

_I feel like this is starting to become a pattern. _

What's wrong with patterns? Patterns are good. Patterns are solvable. Patterns shape the world. You can never not solve a pattern problem. Patterns don't have a mind of their own. Patterns don't bother other patterns. Patterns normally like to shut up and let others do the work. PATTERNS DON'T ACT AS IF THEY WERE THERE IN THE EVOLUTION OF CREATION!

_But I _was_ there. _

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHETHER YOU WHERE THERE OR NOT! IT DOESN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO MY LIFE!

_Fine. Go ahead and believe that. _

THANK YOU!

Sigh. I wonder how I look like on the outside when I'm having these internal arguments.

The crisp, female voice comes again over the intercom.

"Passengers, please pull your seats up in the upright landing position and buckle your seatbelts. We will be descending shortly."

The red seatbelt buckle sign lit up.

"We there yet?" Sirius yawns, as he pulls his seat back up, leaving James's legs room to breathe, which were previously squashed by Sirius's 'naptime'.

James grimaces adorably as he attempts to stretch out his stiff legs in the small space.

_Oh the power of true love…_

I am not in love with him!

_Aren't you?_

I wouldn't sound so smug if I were you.

_Merlin, Lily, I'm not just a different person attempting to make you love someone, I'm just your hidden side. I've accepted that Lily Evans loves James Potter, you should too._

And why exactly should Lily Evans accept this too?

_Because I'm your smart side._

Grrrrrrrrr, that was just one step too much over the line.

_Suit yourself. I won't be the one in tears later on._

Oh believe me, I WILL NOT be in tears. In fact, I'll be so happy, you'll wish you had tear ducts so you could be able to cry tears of 'omigod, I was so wrong'!

….

Oh, so NOW you shut up?

…

Sigh.

Right. Now, it's time for note-to-self. Figure out these weird feeling about James Potter in the next five days, or I will let Ralph take over my entire brain.

Shudder. That doesn't sound very pleasant does it?

_Sure it does._

DUDE, SERIOUSLY!

_What?_

Not cool man!

_I am NOT a man._

. You make me so angry sometimes.

_Darling, it seems as if I always make you angry._

Fine. . You make me angry ALL THE TIME! Happy now?

_Considerably._

Lovely.

I am shaken out of my daze as I feel the plane wheels touch down on the ground. Phew. My seat's not next to James Potter for the ride home is it.

_You know you wish you were._

NO I DON'T.

_Whatever you say Lily dear…_

The crisp female voice comes on over the intercom again. "Passengers, we have now landed at Pearson International Airport. If Toronto is a pit stop, we please make sure you are on time for you next flight. If Toronto is your final destination, we hope your flight with Air Canada has been pleasant, and we hope to see you soon. Please remain seated until the plane comes to a complete standstill. Then you may collect your on board luggage from the overhead compartments and exit the plane."

The intercom goes off with a click, hopefully for good. The not-so American accent is creeping me out a little.

"Bloody hell, if she says that every flight, doesn't she get tired?" Peter yawns getting up and immediately falls head fist into the lap of a young teenage girl sitting across the aisle from him.

The boys howl with laughter, much to the annoyance of the rest of the passengers.

"S-s-s-s-s-sorry!" He splutters, his chubby cheeks turning bright red, attempting to get back up while failing miserably, and just tumbling on the floor.

The girl shakes out her honey blond curls and looks at him with disgust while her brunette friend shakes uncontrollably with laughter.

"Honestly, the _nerve_ some of these perverts have." I hear her mutter to her friend as she gets up, pointedly steps over Peter, who is still flat on his face, and continues down the aisle.

Her friend helpfully attempts to help Peter get back on his feet before dashing down the aisle calling "Wait, Cecile, wait up!"

Peter sinks to the floor again, putting his head in his hands moaning, "Why do I have to be such an utter klutz? Now she thinks I'm a sort of sick, masochistic pervert."

"Well, I wouldn't really blame you Wormtail. Her skirt was kind of short." Sirius says laughing clutching his sides, while Gilda repeatedly bangs his shoulder with her purse, trying to get him to hold it for her while she searched for her shoes that had somehow slipped off during the flight.

Hm. Funny couple aren't they?

Sirius finally takes the hint and plucks the purse out of her hands. As soon as she's ducked down into the aisle, he opens up the zipper and searches randomly through it while talking to James.

"I don't understand why she doesn't have any candy in here. She smells like it all the time, so she must eat it a lot, therefore, she must have candy in her bag. I want the candy in her bag. Aha!"

And he unearths what is clearly not candy. In fact I don't think it's very hygienic of one puts a tampon in one's mouth.

"Hmmmmmm," He continues. "Now what kind of candy is this?"

Gilda finally emerges from under her seat, holding up one of her blue shoes. "Hey, I found-What are you _doing _Sirius?"

"I am looking for candy so I can eat some. I'm hungry."

"In my purse?"

"Yes."

"I don't carry candy around in my purse."

"Yeah you do."

"No I don't."

"Then what's this thing?" He holds up the tampon. All colour drains from Gilda's face as she launches herself at Sirius grabbing the tampon out of his hands and stuffing it back in her purse.

"Sirius that is not candy!" She hisses at him. "It's a freaking tampon!"

"Waz that?"

"A feminine hygiene product, now move along Sirius, my legs are cramping up again." James pipes up, nudging Sirius in the back.

"Oh."

I look at James sideways. How could he know that? Isn't he like, a guy?

"Legs cramping up? I thought you were a Quidditch star and all." I tease, stepping into the aisle right behind him.

He turns around and smiles that breathtaking smile again. "Yes, but Quidditch has absolutely nothing to do with your legs. You just sit on a broom and fly around, and catch things."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It is really, some people just lack the physical co-ordination to be able to stay on a broom." He says, winking at me.

Oh damn, his lips look so soft….DAMN IT LILY! SNAP OUT OF IT!

"Right. Now what time is it?" Sirius asks. "I haven't had food since the food trolley came along."

"It should be around one in the afternoon." Remus yawns.

"No wonder I'm hungry. Let's go eat."

"Does that boy have a trash disposal in his stomach?" Sophia says walking out of the plane right behind me.

"More like a hollow leg." I laugh.

"Anybody seen my hair tie, I think it might've slipped off on the plane." Jennifer says.

"Oh sod off about your hair tie. I mean look at that, your hair looks like its still tied up when it's clearly not. That, my dear, is not healthy." Sophia says untangling her friends locks with her fingers.

Jennifer sighs and rolls her eyes as she watches Sophia do her hair.

"Are you done yet?" She demands.

"Yes." Sophia brings half of Jennifer's hair in front of her shoulders, making it frame her petite face prettily.

"Lily!" Gilda calls pausing beside one of the huge windows opposite from the gateway we just came out of. "Look out the window!"

So I walk over to her, glance out the window, and do a double take. Snow? No. It can't be! But there is no mistaking the small flakes that are drifting from the side.

"Dude, what the hell?" Sirius asks coming to stand beside Gilda.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" I hear someone murmuring in my ear. I whirl around just to see James Potter with that mischievous smile of his; his eyes sparkling with untold humor.

Now that I think about it, it is pretty. I can clearly see the patterns on the flakes that drift to close to the window s. Yet somehow some sunlight is peeping through the light grey clouds, as if to wink at us.

I stare in wonder at the flakes that don't seem to ever touch the ground. Well, I guess it's a good thing I brought my jacket….

"Why is it snowing in November?" I hear Peter mutter to himself.

"It's always like this." A man in his twenties says who has just seemed to collect his parents, who are looking very tan. "But the snow never stays until December. Good too, otherwise we'd be shoveling for half the year."

James bends down to search for his jacket, while starting up a chat with the man. I tune out, not because I'm not interested in the conversation, but because James himself is too distracting without his lips moving.

_Hehehehehehehe, somebody's getting a little descriptive…_

Shut up Ralph. I was having a moment there.

_With James Potter, right?_

You. Just. RUINED MY MOMENT!

_AHA! So you do admit your moment was with James Potter!_

No it wasn't!

_Wasn't, as in, you are now having a moment with the incredibly sexy James Potter?_

NO! You, my dear, have a dark talent. I like to call it MESSING WITH PEOPLE'S MINDS AND TWISTING THEIR WORDS TO BENEFIT YOURSELF!

_Okay, okay. Sheesh. You're so violent….._

You haven't seen violence from me yet, but you will be in serious pain if you don't shut up!

…_.You do realize, I'm only a figment of your imagination and you can't hurt me right? Actually, you can only hurt me by proving me wrong._

AHA! Then I shall prove you wrong!

…_..okay?_

I have a permanent smile on my face as we leave the windows and make our way to the front doors of the airport.

I reach into my bag and take out my jacket, and slip it on as we slip through the automatic doors with many "ooooh"s and "Bloody hell"s and "Holy Honeydukes, it's like the doors have a mind of their own"s.

"Now, what did Dumbledore want us to do again?" Remus wonders out loud.

"I think he said hail two faxes." James pipes up helpfully.

"Or was it taxes?"

"Uh," Sophia says. "I'm pretty sure he said taxis, right Lily?"

"Eh?" I say back.

"Never mind." She says with a laugh.

"Oh cool. Me and Sophia will go get these….taxis. The rest of you, stay with the luggage." Jennifer says, dragging Sophia by the arm to the long line of taxis in the distance.

"Oh Merlin, they're moving!" Sirius screams as two yellow taxis come into view.

He clearly hasn't ever seen a taxi before…..

I wouldn't blame him.


	19. Milk Duds in the City

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Except for Ralph. Ralph is all mine. MUWAHAHAHAHA!

**A/N: Hello again dear readers! I notice I haven't updated since July. I am truly, truly sorry for those of you who want to kill me, absolutely murder me. I thought I could write a lot on vacation, but apparently, my crazy cousins decided they didn't want me to. And then school started, and then my schedule decided it could be totally sucky, (sucky subjects, sucky teachers) and so this is the first real chance I've gotten to work on this. But don't worry, here's a nice, long, chapter for you. IMPORTANT: READ THIS. I WILL BE CHANGING THE NAME OF THIS FANFICTION. It shall be now called, Falling in Love with my Sub-Conscience. Why? Because when I named this, I wasn't thinking, and later on I thought I'd write about all of Lily's final year at Hogwarts, but considering how two months of the year turned out to be 18 chapters and took almost one and a half years, if I tried to do the whole year, I'd be writing till I'm twenty, and my school work's only going to pile on more and more. So remember: FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY SUB-CONSCIENCE. (And 7****th**** year isn't all that creative anyways)**

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Milk Duds in the City**

"HELP!"

I jump out of bed. Oh no. Gilda is being attacked by a muggle serial killer in the shower! Merlin, doesn't she ever look behind the shower curtain before she hops in? The nutcase!

_Uh- Lily?_

Shut up Ralph! Can't you see she's in trouble?

"I NEED SOMEBODY!" Gah! She's being raped! Should I? I might get raped too! Never mind. Both of us might be able to distract him long enough to throw in a couple hexes. Wait. McGonagall took our wands. Damn it. Time to use the muscle power daddy gave you Lily.

_What muscles? _

Like I said Ralph. SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT PLEASE.

"I'm coming Gilda! Hold on!" I scream in a war cry as I run to the bathroom.

_Lily- _

"HELP!"

"Don't worry! I'll save you!" I slam through the bathroom door, nearly breaking it off its hinges.

"Lily what are you-"Sophia calls as with a strangled '_yeah'_, I rip back the shower curtain. And there stands innocent Gilda, her head a mountain of blue shampoo, looking at me like I just grew another head.

_See? I-_

SHUT UP RALPH!

"Do you mind?" She asks, raising an eyebrow, gesturing to the fact that she's stalkers. Oh shut up Gilda. Who cares who sees you naked when there's a mad stalker trying to rape you? I knew coming here was a bad idea.

_Use your eyes. Does she look like she's being raped?_

I'm ignoring you.

_Have it your way._

"Where? Where is he?" I ask, slightly mad, my eyes bugging out of their sockets. Who dares try to kill my best friend? Is he hiding behind the shampoo ledge?

"Are you mad? Who's _he_?" She goes back to lathering the shampoo in her hair. She's slightly too comfortable with me isn't she?

_She's fine. Leave her to shampoo in peace._

"The serial killer!"

Her eyes go as wide as saucers. "What serial killer?"

"The one trying to rape and kill you dummy!" I scream in frustration, breathing hard.

_Calm down. …On second thought, don't. This is quite entertaining._

If you were a real person Ralph, I would twist your neck right now.

_WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT A REAL PERSON?_

Can we continue this later Ralph?

_NO. We will discuss it NOW._

NO.

"Lily." Gilda puts her hands on my shoulders, staining my t-shirt with blue shampoo bubbles, "There was no serial killer." She says to me as if I'm mental.

"Liar."

"Lily, I am not lying." She let out an exasperated sigh.

"LIAR! SIRIUS BLACK IS HIDING BEHIND YOUR BLUE FOAM ISN'T HE?" He must be. If there is no serial killer, then who else would it be? I always knew Sirius Black would become a nutcase rapist one day.

Gilda raises her eyebrows

"Lily." She says slowly. "Do you see a serial killer, nutcase rapist, or Sirius Black here?"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'VE HIDDEN THEM ALL UNDER THAT MOUNTAIN OF SHAMPOO WHERE YOUR HAIR SHOULD BE!" I yell, clenching my hands into fists.

"Lily-" Gilda begins again once more but I cut her off.

"DON'T 'LILY' ME! STOP TRYING TO HIDE THEM! YOU WERE YELLING FOR HELP THREE SECONDS AGO!"

Her mouth pops open in a silent _pop. _"I was singing a song." She says in disbelief.

_HA!_

"A song?" I narrow my eyes.

"A song."

_I told you that you shouldn't have eaten that entire bag of Milk Duds._

"What song?"

"Help. Sung by The Beatles." She says calmly.

There's a song with those lyrics? Huh. Maybe she isn't being killed. NO, no, she must be. She's been cursed to be in denial. Ah! I know! I'll test her! "What comes after that then?"

She raises and eyebrow. "You don't believe me Lils? How many chocolates did you have?"

_Once again, I say HA!_

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER! JUST SING THE REST OF THE SONG!" I don't mention the empty bag of chocolates on my bed right now.

_I see someone agrees with me._

I'M STILL IGNORING YOU.

"Fine." She pauses, and then-

"HELP!

I NEED SOMEBODY!

HELP!

NOT JUST ANYBODY!

HELP!

YOU KNOW I NEED SOMEONE!

HEEEEEEE-E-E-ELP!

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER SO MUCH YOUNGER THAN TOODA-A-A-A-Y,

I NEVER NEEDED ANYBODY'S HELP IN ANY WAY,

BUT NOW THOSE DAYS ARE GONE AND I'M NOT SO SELF-ASSU-U-U-RED-"

_Make her stop! She's worse than Alice! Make her stop!_

For once, I agree with you.

"Okay, thank you." I cut her off. Gilda isn't a much better singer than Alice.

_Much better? Gods, that's an understatement._

Hey! Stop being mean to my friends!

_I'm not being mean. I'm merely stating a fact. You know, three lives ago, she had the sweetest voice in the kingdom. Everyone was jealous. Even you. _

Do you mind?

_Do I mind what?_

Stop freaking me out! I like to think I'm only seventeen.

_You are. At least, you are physically. _

Stop with your freaky psychological statements Ralph. Especially when I've just eaten an entire bag of caramely chocolaty goodness!

_Ha-ha. But it's funny. You're 'wise beyond your years.'_

Ralph, I'm warning you….

Gilda smirks at me. "Do you believe me now?"

"Yes," I grumble.

I give up.

_Aha! I win again!_

I-

"LILY? GILDA! WHO'S BEING KILLED!" Sirius yells as he runs into the bathroom, his face flushed from running.

"What, Sirius?" I snap at the same time as Gilda gives out a scream of embarrassment and yanks the shower curtain back in its place.

…

Oh. Oops. It seems I've forgotten Sirius is a member of the male gender.

_A scandal!_

Since when?

…_..Well, it was two hundred years ago, when you took baths instead of showers._

"Ah." He chokes out as he momentarily catches sight of Gilda, his face turning even a brighter red.

I think it's better to forget that ever happened.

_My eyes would like to forget._

Don't you mean MY eyes?

"Well?" I ask impatiently, tapping my foot.

"Uh-" He says, clearly still dazed.

_Gasp. Improper thoughts about a young woman! Slap him Lily!_

"SIRIUS!" I snap my fingers in front of his face.

"Oh right. I heard you lot screaming. I thought one of you was being attacked."

Snap out of Gilda-Land, Sirius. I frown and narrow my eyes. "Well, if you must know," I sniff. "I thought that too."

His eyebrows furrow, blocking one's sight from his grey eyes. "What?"

Gilda giggles from behind the shower curtain. "She thought my singing was the sound of someone being raped by a serial rapist." The sound of water and steam makes her voice sound unnaturally loud and echoic.

"Well it wasn't my fault!" I protest. "_Help! I need somebody! Help!" _I mimic her voice poorly.

"Ah, excuse-me, did anyone other than you run in here screaming '_where is he? WHERE?' _like a psychopath?" Gilda calls back.

_Oh, I like Gilda._

I cross my arms across my chest. "Your darling boyfriend came running in too." I mumble.

Her laugh echoes around the bathroom long after she stops. "Lily, let me tell teach you a life lesson." She pokes her head out from the end of the shower curtain, the foam in her hair now bright pink. "When your boyfriend comes running in screaming war cries to protect you, it's cute. When your same-sex best friend does it, it's just slightly creepy." She flashes me a smile. "Isn't that right pookie-pie?" She winks at Sirius.

"Yesssssssssss," Sirius smiles, dazed by the fact that the only thing separating him from the sight of his girlfriend is a sick, weak, wimpy plastic curtain.

And me, of course.

I roll my eyes up, and notice the painting of cherubs playing harps on the ceiling

"Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some lathering to do." Gilda says.

"Yeah yeah." I mutter. "C'mon Sirius. Let's see what's for lunch."

"Can't I stay?" He whines as I drag him out.

EW. "No."

_Oh, don't pretend you wouldn't love it if James tried to do the same to you._

No, I would hate it!

_Liar._

I would kill him.

_Maybe, but probably not in the way that you think._

….You're worse than Sirius, Ralph.

_Hmph._

Gilda's laugh rings in my ears long after we exit the overly lavish bathroom.

"No more chocolates for you Lily." Sophia smirks, eyeing the empty package of bonbons lying on my bed.

_I like her too. _

Damn it. Does EVERYONE know chocolate makes me go haywire?

_Yes. You're famous for it._

Sirius gasps. "Milk Duds? How did you know they're my favourite muggle candy?" And before I can stop him, he lunges for the unopened pack of the said candy lying on the floor.

He likes Milk Duds?

_Yay! NO MORE MILK DUDS FOR YOU!_

"DON'T TOUCH MY MILK DUDS!" I scream as he runs off with them.

I run after him, almost tripping over my backpack in the process.

_Go Sirius Go! Rid Lily of those vile Milk Duds!_

"NEVER!" He yells back as he runs across the hall, and into the boy's room.

"OH YES YOU WILL!" I plan to jump over the three beds in my way and to pin him against the wall, but I trip over a measly little pink footstool, and it sends me sprawling onto the first bed, and into the lap of none other than Mr. James Bloody Potter.

"Hello." He says, his hazel eyes sparkling behind his spectacles. Oh, how I long to kiss away the smirk on his lusciously full lips and- NO! BAD LILY!

_No, good Lily. Continue as you wish._

NO! I WILL NOT STOOP THIS LOW!

_You mean you won't rise this high._

No.

_Yes._

No.

_No._

Yes. Wait, DARN IT!

_Ha-ha._

Screw you.

_Never._

I groan, finding my awkward position on the bed painful.

"!" Sirius shrieks as he jumps up and down on his bed, Milk Duds flying everywhere from the open package. "I WON!"

"Shut UP Black." I snarl. "Now give me back my Milk Duds!" My left eye twitches.

"Oooooooh, feisty." Sirius smirks, and pours most of the contents of the bag into his mouth in one go.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I shriek, and try to scramble off of James's lap to get my hands around that vile neck of his.

I get in a kneeling position, ready to pounce, when two strong hands grab my waist and hold me back. I thrash around, trying to break free of my chains.

_Oooooh, those hands feel nice, don't they?_

IGNORING YOU!

"GIVE ME MY MILK DUDS!" I cry out, which only seems to encourage him more. Smiling widely at me much like the Cheshire cat, he pours the rest of the contents into his mouth, and chews agonizingly slow as if to taunt me.

"My, my, so delicious." Sirius mumbles, his mouth bursting with caramel.

"AAAAAAAAAAARGH!" The hands around my waist tighten as I squirm, trying to break free.

I am going to KILL HIM! MURDER I TELL YOU! MURDER!

_Now, now, Lilykins, calm down, and just think about those precious hands. So soft, so strong, aren't they lovely?_

I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AS SOON AS I'M DONE WITH HIM!

"Don't encourage him Lily. We'll get you some more candy later. Just relaxe." A soft voice purrs in my ear.

Oh heaven…..I'm melting aren't I? I'm nothing more than a puddle of goo aren't I? PLEASE SQUIRRELS AND CHIPMUNKS OF HEAVEN LET ME NOT BE A PUDDLE OF GOO! Please save me from terrible embarrassment!

I catch sight of Sirius laughing, making sheep eyes at me. He's mocking me isn't he? ISN'T HE? TIME FOR PLAN B!

I intentionally relax a bit, allowing James to deem it safe to loosen his grip on me. Before he gets a chance to fully understand what's going on, I wriggle out of his -kind, loving, sexy-BAD LILY!- grasp and lunge at Sirius, knocking him to the floor, followed by a noise of shock from James.

"! YOU VIOLENT GIRL!" Sirius screams as I promptly start punching him.

"Never. Again." I hiss between punches. "Will. You. Ever. Steal. My. Candy." The force of my punches increases with every blow.

"Ow. Ow. OW!" Sirius shrieks, clutching his stomach. Feeling bad for his belly, I move on to his face. "OH DOUBLE OW! Prongs! Help me, you git!"

"Just hold on a little longer Padfoot. You deserve some of it." James sing-songs. I can see him lean back on his bed, smiling wildly. He seems to have recovered from the shock.

"OH BLOODY HELL! THIS WOMANS' VIOLENT! Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I'm bloody sorry! I'll get you another-oh! NOT THE GROIN! NOT THE GROIN!"

I smirk as I knee his groin a few times. Hard.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Sirius screams at the same time as James grabs me from behind, and after a few turns and flips, finally settles on cradling me like you would a baby.

I hit his chest multiple times. "Let me go! LET ME KILL HIM!"

"Shhhhhh, Lils, you're just a little excited. All you need is some rest and some real food. You'll be back to your senses soon enough." James says soothingly as he rubs my back with one hand.

"NOT BLOODY FAST ENOUGH FOR MY LIKING!" Sirius cries, curled up in a fetal position.

My, his hands feel nice. Ahhhhh, so warm, so-BLOODY HELL LILY! COME TO YOUR SENSES! OPERATION KILL SIRIUS BLACK CANNOT BE FORGOTTEN!

_Oh damn it. Why'd you have to ruin everything? I almost had you there._

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! STOP CONTROLING MEEEEEEEEEEEE-Merlin, he's good at this.

He starts to walk back to the girls room, the gentle rocking motion soothing and-OH HERE WE GO AGAIN! BAD THOUGHTS! GO AWAY!

_Never._

"There's some frozen peas in that ice portal over there if you need it Padfoot." James calls over his shoulder, all the while rubbing my back as he walks out of the room.

"Freezer." I mumble, my face turned to press into his chest. You know what? I don't care anymore. I'm gonna accept these nice feelings.

"What?"

I smile into his t-shirt. "The 'ice portal' is called a freezer."

"That makes sense. It freezes things." His voice is soft, and his warm breath tickles my ears.

"Mmmmhmmmmmmmmmm"

_Yaaaaaaay, Lily! I knew you'd finally crash and burn!_

Hmph.

"Well well well. Lily has come down to earth once more." Gilda says jokingly, perched on my bed, her hair dripping water.

"What was that all about?" Jennifer asks, "I think the only people who didn't hear your screaming were Dumbledore and McGonagall."

"Maybe some penguins down in Antarctica." Sophia finally puts down her book.

"The polar bears." Jennifer throws back.

"THE AUSSIES!" Gilda shouts with glee.

"Shut up." I mumble. I feel like I could sleep for days. "What kind of shampoo did you use, Gil? Energizer Bunny brand?"

"No. I found your secret stash of these wonderful Milk Duds." She says, unashamed. "You're right. They are the best muggle candy on the planet."

I don't fail to notice James shaking his head frantically, warning her not to say anything.

"I saw that." I move my face from his chest and put it sideways on his shoulder, so I can glare at Gilda. "And I'll have you know, I'm CHOOSING not to react."

Gilda laughs. "It's okay James. She's in her down stage now. She just needs a few minutes for the sugar to seep through her pores and she'll be fine. Then we can go have lunch!" She brightens up at the end, and pops another Milk Dud in her mouth, and chews thoughtfully. "Where are Remus and Peter?"

"Exploring." James says, gesturing his head towards the hallway.

"Coolness. I'll go find them" Jennifer hops off her bed, and sweeps out of the room, leaving nothing but the faint smell of pomegranates behind. "You're right Gilda. We should go get some lunch. I wonder if they have hamburgers." She pokes her head back into the room momentarily.

"I think I'll go with her. You know. Make sure she doesn't get lost." Sophia's curls bounce against the back of her neck as she follows her friend out.

Hmmmmmmm, suspicious. Verrrrrry suspicious.

"I'll go see if Sirius is alive or not." Gilda says nervously.

Oh. I see. Suspicious no more.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing Gilda." I mutter.

I feel James's chest rumble as he laughs, and Gilda joins him with her piercing one. "Whatever do you mean Lily dear?" She strikes a very Broadway like pose in the doorway, and disappears without another word.

So funny. I thought you were all my friends. Leaving me alone with him eh? Clever, very clever.

_I think that's the REASON they all left. _

Ah, Ralph.

_Yes?_

My dear, dear Ralph.

_Yes my dear, dear Lily?_

Shut up.

"Wait!" Gilda runs back into the room, snatches the bag of Milk Duds, and hops back out before James and I have time to react.

"Hmmmmmmmmm, these Milk Duds that everyone's stealing from you, I must try one. They seem to be the chocolate frogs of the muggle world." James turns his head slightly to whisper in my ear.

"Never." From here I have a clear view of the hairs at the nape of his neck. Oh how I long to run my fingers through those…..NOOOOOOOO!

_Hey! You were fine with it just a few moments ago!_

I just said he's a good back rubber; it's not a oh-I-love-him thing!

_Oh just admit it. You're in love with him. So you two can live happily ever after and I can stop stressing over your fate._

I would, IF I ACTUALLY DID!

_Butcha do Lily. You just won't admit it to yourself._

I DON'T LIE TO MYSELF!

_You are right now._

Ah, leave me to enjoy this back rub in peace Ralph!

…_.Fine. But I'll be back later._

Thank you!

_Mark my words._

You'll be back later. Yes, I get it.

"Where's your bed?"

I gesture sleepily to the bed closest to the window.

"Best view in the house I see." He smirks at me before laying me down gently on the bed like you would a sleeping child, gesturing to the wide window.

I instantly miss the warmth radiating from his body as he gently breaks away from me, but I look out the window instead. Skyscrapers in the middle of the skyline, with the blazing tower in the middle, almost like a beacon shouting out, _here we are._ The skyscrapers drop into small apartments a few spaces on either side of the tower. In the distance, I can see a lake, and an island. The streets are busy, brimming with cars and people, all with a purpose.

"There. Now you can rest and then we'll go out for lunch." He says leaning on the bed with his arms. "I'll just go and see what Sirius is doing."

I pout and cross my arms.

MERLIN LILY, WHY'D YOU DO THAT?

_Merlin Lily, I didn't know you could be such a girl…._

Shut your trap before I do it myself.

_Ahhhhhh, but I am only a figment of your sub-conscience. You couldn't shut me up even if you tried._

A girl can only dream…

James's eyes darken a shade. "On second thought," He mutters huskily, and clambers onto my bed.

I smile wildly as I snuggle against him and bury my head into the crook of his neck.

He chuckles as he strokes my hair. "You, Evans, are a feisty one."

"Don't push it Potter." I mumble against his neck.

I feel him freeze for a moment as he feels my lips move on his neck. Hehehehehehehe…SUCKER.I giggle and he relaxes, and hesitantly wraps his free arm around my waist. You, know, Potters' not all that bad…..wait a minute…that's not right…..

_Uh, I think it's very right._

Back so soon Ralph?

_I never left._

This is actually very nice…me, on my bed, with James, and his deliciously messy hair, and those sparkling eyes and those _very_ talented hands, and-HOLD IT. PAUSE. REWIND. PLAY.

How did this happen? Who drugged me? Who put a love potion with Potter's hair in my pumpkin juice? WHO?

_Why, me of course._

YOU!

_Me._

But-but-HOW?

_There's this new thing Lily, I don't know if you've heard of it, but all the young people are doing it these days. It's called SARCASM._

If you were to draw me as a happy face, you wouldn't be able to. You would only be able to draw a very so-angry-I-could-kill-you face Ralph.

_Ralph, Malph, can't you pick a better name for me? A female name for starters._

If I do, will you leave me alone?

_I'll think about it._

Fine. Zoë?

_EW._

Patricia?

_Got any names that won't make me puke?_

Well, what kind of name do you want?

_Something, exotic….something…..timeless._

Evangeline?

_Been there, done that._

Cleopatra?

_Really Lily, really?_

But no other names fit.

_Yes, you're right, Ralph it is._

Ha-ha! So you'll leave me alone now?

_Why should I? You didn't give me a new name._

But even you said so yourself that Ralph seems like the best option!

_I said I'd think about it._

SO THINK ABOUT IT!

_I've thought about it, and my answer is no._

You had decided from the beginning that you were gonna say no, didn't you?

_It's amazing to know how well you know me._

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..

Well, in that case, I'll never like James Potter.

_You never did._

…Are you agreeing with me?

_No. You were always in love with him._

NO I WASN'T! 

_You know it's no use arguing. Now, just think about those soft hands, his husky man smell, and that hair that you adore….._

Hmmmmmm, he does have nice hands…..WAIT! YOU FOOLED ME!

_And I won….._

NEVER!

_ALWAYS!_

"Have you calmed down yet?" James asks, a smirk playing on those beautiful lips of his. Oh how I ache to kiss him-I-mean-SLAP HIM.

I glare at him, but that only widens his smile, and pulls me closer. Ahhhhhh, what a wonderful scent this boys' got.

"Prooooongsie! Where arrrrrre you?" Sirius's obnoxiously loud voice reaches us through the hallway and James winces.

"Damn it." He mutters, but makes no intention to leave.

"PRONGS! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, YOU GIT!"

James groans, and means to roll over to face the door, but forgets that he is perched on the edge of the bed.

"AAAAAARGH!" He hits the carpeted floor with a loud thump.

I sit up, my eyes wide.

"PRONGSIE! THERE YOU ARE!" Sirius skips into the room, seemingly fully recovered.

I raise my eyebrows at him. "I see you've recovered." I say blandly.

"I see you've calmed down." He shoots back, his hands on his hips.

I smirk at him. "You know Sirius; I could just as easily harm you again, but this time, _permanently._"

His eyes widen in fear. "Eep." He squeaks.

James laughs from his position on the floor, and Sirius's eyes immediately snap to his area, then back to me, than back again to James.

"Prrrrrongssssssie…" Sirius purred. "Were you being punished too?"

"Quite the opposite Padfoot."

"WHAT?" He shrieks. "So I get a groin injury, but you get REWARDED?"

"Well, think about it Sirius. I didn't steal her candy and then force her to watch me eat it all." James drawls.

Sirius taps his chin with his index finger thoughtfully. "Maybe…any who, we're all going to find some lunch. So get off your lame arse Prongs and put your shoes on Lilykins. WE'RE GOING OUT!" He finished off of with a jump, which makes the floor shake as he lands.

"Yeah, yeah. This carpet's awfully comfortable…" James settles back and closes his eyes.

"NO! UP UP UP!" Sirius yells, and pulls James up by the arms, making them both go stumbling backwards into a foot stool.

"Bloody hell Padfoot. Would it kill you to not be so physical for once?" James groans from his awkward position.

"Yes." Sirius springs to his feet almost as fast as he fell. "Let's go and see MUGGLE-WORLD!" And with that he skips out of the room.

"Bloody hell." James says once more as he picks himself up off of the floor. "As Sirius would say, Lily, 'let's go see muggle-world.'"

_Sense of humor too, I see._

Ha-ha.

"Right. Let's go." I grab my coat and my sneakers and follow him out the door.

Everyone is waiting for us a little ways down the hallway, and I hurry to put my shoes on.

"Lils, don't you dare try to walk and put your shoes on at the same time." Gilda says, eyeing me disapprovingly.

"You don't want a repeat of the great Lilynastics accident do you?" Remus adds.

Oh no. They promised not to bring that up again!

_Awwwwwww, butcha gotta admit. It was funny._

Bad memories Ralph, bad memories. Screw them.

I roll my eyes at them, trying to appear as natural as possible, but stop nevertheless. Gilda and Remus know a little too well what physical multitasking does to me. I kneel down to tie my laces.

"Lilynastics?" Sirius and James ask in unison.

"A story for another time." I say quickly, causing Gilda to smirk.

"But-"Sirius starts,

"A story for another time." I repeat firmly, causing my cheeks to go pink. Gilda's smirk widens to a feral smile as she catches sight of this.

She mouths _I'll tell you later _at Sirius. I narrow my eyes and pretend to be utterly and completely absorbed in the tying of my rainbow laces.

As I look up, I catch Sophia's eye, and she waggles her eyebrows at me suggestively. "Having fun?" She asks, smirking.

"Oh hahaha." I say in a bored manner, the blush fading from my cheeks. I straighten up as soon as my rainbow laces are tied, and put my coat on, bundling it up all the way.

James and Sirius are still looking at me curiously.

I tap my feet impatiently. "Well, are we going or not?" I'm not willing to let the subject of Lilynastics to come up again.

"Yes. Right we are." Remus says hastily. He seems to have realized his mistake.

And without another word we proceed down the hallway. I sneakily glance at everyone's faces, trying to see what their reactions are.

James looks bothered, his brow furrowed into lines, and he runs his hand through his hair a few times. Oh how I long to smooth out those lines with my hand and-NO! RALPH STOP IT!

_Waaaaaaaa? I'm not doing anything. I'm simply minding my own business._

Fine. Then I just won't look at him anymore.

I then glance over at Sirius. I can practically see the gears in his mind turning. He's planning something, and by the way his eyes are sparkling, it's a plan to make me spill the beans.

_Hehehehe, YAY!_

I gulp, and then hastily turn to Remus. He looks bothered. Good. He regrets opening his mouth and wiggling his tongue.

Peter's the closest to Remus, but he just looks nervous about something. Then again, Peter's always nervous about something.

Sophia and Jennifer are quietly chatting about something, but they don't seem to be bothered by anything. In fact, they seem to be discussing something highly entertaining, but they seem to be pointing at the red wallpaper, giggling. It is a little ridiculous, if I do say so myself.

The marble floor makes us all sound like we're wearing high heels, turning the sound of eight people walking to twenty as I finally look over to Gilda. She's making sheep's eyes at Sirius, and he seems to be responding quite well. ….ew.

_Oh don't EW me. You know how much you wish that was you and James._

No I don't

_Uh, I think you do._

"HAHA! Here comes the lift again!" Sirius shouts with glee as we reach the elevator.

Remus rolls his eyes. "It's an elevator Sirius."

"Yeah, eleetor. That's what I said."

"No, you said-oh never mind. I give up."

Jennifer chuckles as she presses the button marks with a down arrow on the mirrored wall.

"Wait for it, wait for it…DING!" Sirius shouts just as the elevator comes into view. "What's the difference between these and the ones at the ministry again?" He asks as he hops into the old fashioned elevator, with the gold chain doors rather than the stainless steel auto machines you find at most corporations.

"The lifts there go every which way. These are simply programmed to go up and down." Remus responds as we all step in.

"Well, they should program it to go every which way!" He eagerly presses the button marked 'lobby' several times.

"But they can't Sirius. These aren't powered by magic, they work with hydraulics and-"

"I lost you at 'aren't powered by magic Moony."

Remus rolls his eyes while everyone else laughs.

"Sirius, don't break the button. Once is enough." I grab his hand and pull it back.

He pouts.

I narrow my eyes. "Uh-uh." I shake my head.

Another 'ding' and six button presses later, we're at the lobby. I have to admit. It is a grand place. The high ceilings have magnificent moldings in the shape of different gargoyles and people. Remus told me when we were coming in that the people who carved these weren't allowed to sign their names, so they would carve their faces into it instead.

A huge chandelier hangs right above the circular front desk. I wonder how the people working there aren't afraid of it killing them. Bell boys are pushing luggage trolleys everywhere, mostly followed by travelers. Grand couches are arranged in different spots, and the coffee tables are strewn with magazines and books. In the corner there is a huge, walk in fireplace, already roaring with bright, cheery flames because of the bitter temperature outside.

The sound of every type of shoe clacks on the floor. Everything from child's booties to the high heels of business women to the sneakers of school children to the squeaks of men with brief-cases and overly polished shoes.

The snow seems to have stopped, and the bright sun is melting the little that settled on the ground. A doorman nods his head at us in form of greeting as we push through the door and out into the bright sunshine.

Bitter wind slaps by cheeks almost immediately, but the weak rays of the sun are almost soothing, making it bearable as we turn left. On the other side of the street is a building similar but less grand than the hotel, marked as Union Station. Cara whizz past us at break neck speeds, and the sound of laughter fills the air as a bunch of school children no older than seven run past us, sneakers slapping the concrete and pig tails flying.

"Don't they go to school?" Jennifer asks, wrinkling her nose.

"I think so. Maybe they have a holiday." I say.

I notice that most of the people walking on the street seem to be very multicultural. There are albino blondes with skin red from the cold, and darker African Americans, their curly hair whipping around slightly in the wind. There are people who just seem to be more exotic, people with glittering black eyes and olive skin wearing red lipstick walking along side people who look like they're from Eastern Asia, their skin tanner and their eyes a little lighter in colour from years of brighter sunshine and colder weather.

"Bloody hell." Peter mutters, his eyes wide, and gestures to a group of girls about our age leaning on a building at the corner, smoking cigarettes.

Everyone's attention, wherever it might be, snaps over to them, and their eyes widen in shock. They're like the muggle equivalent of The Witches.

One girl, the tallest, seems to be their leader. Her dark hair, reminds me of corn silk, is swept over one shoulder, and the dark make-up around her eyes makes both her pale skin and shockingly blue eyes pop out.

The one on her left is less outstanding, her face mostly covered by her short frizzy hair left to pop out in the wind. Her hot pink lipstick has already stained her cigarette, and she's arguing to the tall girl about something. I can tell by the lines in her brow and the anger that seems to be radiating from their leader.

The last one is standing a little ways to the side, showing that she's with them but not involved in the argument. Every few seconds she glances at the two and rolls her green eyes, twirling her cigar around two fingers expertly, making her pale hair dangerously close to catching fire.

But it's not their make-up strewn faces or their utterly I'm-too-cool-for-school vibes, it's what they're _wearing. _They seem to have brought out their summer closets. Their leader is wearing a very tight purple sweater tunic sort of thing, where it ends just at the top of her thighs, leaving her legs bare to her kneecaps, where her thigh high go-go boots provide some coverage. The shocking white and purple stand out against all the black jackets and rain boots.

The one who's she's still arguing with is dressed similarly, but with a furry vest over her green top and fishnets stockings covering up what her very high heeled, very black boots can't.

The last ones dressed very differently, with a black peasant shirt tucked into blue bell-bottomed trousers and chunky sandals that make my feet hurt just looking at them.

I look down and smile at my worn out sneaker.

Don't worry little sneakers. Mummy will never trade you for those.

_Oh, talking to your sneakers now, eh?_

I feel the boys' mouths fall open and they take in their attire. A small flame erupts in my chest when I catch James looking at the tall one in wonder.

I look down on my blue jeans, suddenly feeling under-dressed.

"I feel cold just looking at them." Gilda whispers in my ear.

"Me too. They brought out summer catalogues instead of winter." I giggle. Maybe they don't seem as amazing to everyone else.

As we get closer and closer to the stench of their cigarettes, we can hear their hushed arguments.

"Shut _up_ Mel. You know we established that rule a long time ago. No dating exes of best friends, remember?" The tall one hisses.

The girl who seems to be called Mel flips her hair over her shoulder impatiently. "For your information, we never established that rule before. You're just saying that because you still _want him don't you?_ Well, he asked me to the Winter Formal, and I'm going to say yes. I don't care what you think Bianca. You had your chance, and you blew it, so let me have mine." She sniffs.

Bianca turns beet-red, which is a fairly unattractive colour on her, I should mention, and her eyes flick onto James, who's still staring at her.

"So if you'll excuse me, I've got class to get to, and I can't afford to be late." Mel hisses as she drops her cigarette and grounds it under the heel of her boot. Without another word, she swings a very sparkly purse over her shoulder and starts up the street.

Bianca sighs just as I pass right in front of her. She also puts out her cigarette with her shoe, and after one more glance at James, starts off after Mel.

The fire in my chest is not so little anymore.

The third girl just rolls her eyes once more and follows the other two.

Sophia raises her eyebrows at me. "What in the name of Merlin was that all about?"

"Boy drama?" I guess.

"No shit Sherlock." Gilda's breath creates steam in the air in front of her.

"Bloody hell." James mutters to himself, his eyes still on the tall brunette, watching her every step.

The fire in my chest burns hotter.

"No! Sirius, what the hell are you doing?" Gilda cries out, yanking Sirius back by the collar just as he was about to cross the street.

"What?" Sirius says in shock.

"Look at the red light Sirius. You can only cross when it's green." Gilda points at the traffic lights.

"Argh, all I've been doing today is waiting. _I want food."_ He moans.

"We'll get some in a sec, just try not to kill yourself while you're at it Padfoot." James grins at Sirius, all thoughts about the gorgeous brunette seemingly forgotten.

The fire dampens just a little bit.

Then again, he could be fantasizing about her right now!

The fire burns hot again.

_Oooooooh, jealous Lily…._

I'm not jealous! I'm merely concerned for his mental health!

_Naw, I think your just jealous._

No, I'm AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

I ponder new thoughts in my head as we cross the street, ninety degrees from the direction the girls went in, and multiple people and stores.

"Oh come on. All these places have food. Let's just go somewhere." Sirius complains as Gilda and Remus drag him by the arm.

I notice people's head snap to look at us when they hear one of us speak. Have they never heard the English speak before? And the women! Several girls our age, (dressed a little more appropriately, mind you) have been staring at the boys. I mean there's nothing too special about any of them. I mean, Sirius, I get, he's attractive to every girl who lays eyes on him. Even I have to admit he's exceptionally handsome. But the rest?

_Lily, how about you compare the boys to the other people walking around._

Too right you are Ralph.

They do seem a little more different don't they? They all have this certain poise about them, the way they hold themselves, that could be described as attractive. Their lean builds only draw attention to the fact they're all very tall. I guess they could be called handsome.

I mean, the way the wind make Remus's hair stand up on end is very cute, and it makes his blue eyes stand out a little more than usual.

And of course the cocky expression on Sirius's face can never fail to attract attention.

Peter seems to be trying to attract as less attention as possible, his head down and scuffing the toes of his sneakers every few steps.

But it's James that everyone seems to be looking at twice. His hair is even messier than usual, shocking when you compare to how pale the bitter wind makes his skin. His glasses seem to add an air of grace to him, which we all find, is very normal, but I guess everyone else has never seen someone like him before.

I have to admit, he's deliciously handsome looking right now in his muggle clothing.

But he doesn't seem to care. His hands are stuffed into the pockets of his dark grey jacket. The collar is turned up, so you can only see a sliver of neck skin when he lifts his head up to look at the sky. His long, seeker trained legs look powerful in his faded blue jeans, which are scuffed at the bottom where they've dragged on the ground once too many times.

…You know Ralph, you're right. He should wear muggle clothing more often.

_I'm always right. _

The other boys are dressed similarly; Remus in black pants instead of jeans and Sirius in a bright red coat.

Honestly, I don't know why he's wearing a bright red coat. The colouring doesn't look to good on him either.

As we cross a busy street, we turn right, just in sight of a big billboard laid with advertisements. Gilda skips ahead to reach Sirius. He grabs her hand and they skip ahead like little children, their attached arms swinging.

James laughs and the full sound warms me up to the bottoms of my toes. "Such children they are." He turns around, catching my eye, and smiles.

"They will never grow up." I say teasingly.

"They will die young."

"But will look old." I giggle.

"They'll come back from the dead and graphitize their graves, just for fun." He adds in, laughing.

"And will blame it all on us." I scoff jokingly. Oh, this is fun. Very fun.

Suddenly, at the busiest intersection I have ever seen, I spot a little boy standing in the middle of the street, probably no more than three, crying as cars coming from different directions swerve to avoid him. But there's one car, that's driving a little too fast. The driver's laughing, and he can't see the little boy. In a second he's going to hit him.

Where's his mother? I start to panic. James freezes as he too, sees the boy.

"NO! JOHNNY!" A young woman screams desperately a little way off to my left, making to run across the street to get to her little boy.

Before she has time to react, James has shot across the street, almost as if this is second nature to him. He grabs the little boy and runs back just as fast.

The little boy is crying harder than ever, but is now kicking James. Aw, poor Johnny. He probably thinks James is a kidnapper.

Poor James. Not only is he putting up with it, but he's whispering soothing words to him as he walks him over his mum.

The young woman gratefully holds out her arms for her son. "Oh, thank you so much. My Gods, _Johnny! _Don't kick the nice man!"

Johnny, who hasn't noticed his mother yet, stops his screaming and kicking. "Momma?" He turns around, a big toothy smile on his face. "Momma!" He launches himself into her arms as he spots her.

"Oh, Johnny, why'd you have to go and do that? You know Momma told you not to let go of my hand." She scolds him in a whisper as she strokes his black curls.

"Momma wouldn't let Johnny get ice cream. Johnny _mad_." He says, sucking on his thumb.

"It's too cold for ice cream Johnny." She says, and turns to James. "Thank you so much. I wish all young men could be a heroic as you."

"Oh er-it was nothing ma'am." He says sheepishly. He runs his hand through his hair, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks.

She smiles at him. "Well, anyways, I'm sorry for any bruises he gave you. And ah-good luck." With a last grateful smile, she walks away. A few steps ahead, she puts Johnny down and takes his hand firmly. "Now, Johnny, _don't let go of my hand." _ I hear her say firmly as they walk away.

James turns around to us. "Well, where to next?" He asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

We stare at him dumbfounded.

Sirius breaks the silence. "Well, Prongs, I had no idea you could be that nice."

The tension is cut as we all laugh.

"Hey!" James says, offended. "I'm very nice!"

"Of course you are." Sirius rolls his eyes. "Look, is that restaurant over there good enough for you all? Because I'm _starved_."

I nod, not looking at where Sirius is pointing.

There's something, something I can't put my finger on.

_Love?_

NO! I merely think of him as my friend.

_Sigh. I didn't think I'd have to resort to this, but Lily, I'm gonna have to ask you some questions, and you have to answer honestly._

If your question is if I'm in love with James Potter, then it's no.

_No. Different questions. But you have to answer honestly. Trust me. Only good will come out of this._

Fine.

_Right. Do you with-all-of-your-heart, HATE_ _James?_

No. Aw man. I can't believe I said that.

We're walking toward a simple diner sort of thing.

_What has changed most about him since last year?_

His attitude.

I'm still confused Ralph. You better explain yourself.

_I will. How has his attitude changed?_

He's become more mature, and nicer. He's also become caring, loyal, and heroic.

_Uh-huh. And what physically has changed?_

Filled out. More muscle-y. Better looking. Looks more like a man. Well, he kind of _is_ a man.

_Yes. Thought so. Now, what do you _like_ about him?_

Really Ralph? What is this, reverse psychology?

_Just shut up and answer._

Errrr, I like his hair and how he runs his hand through it. I like how he blushes, and how he's practically blind without his spectacles. I like how he's got a conscience, and despite his age, is not afraid to act stupid. I like how he's able to beat me in transfiguration. I like his bravery, and his kindness. And his _eyes._ Merlin- his eyes, and-

_Okay. That's enough. So what _don't _you like about him?_

The attention he gets from other females.

_Aha. So Lily, last question. How do you feel about him?_

I told you. I've stopped thinking of him as a complete toe-rag, and now think of him as a friend, like I would of Remus and Sirius.

_Really._

Yessss, why?

_Lily, do you hate the fact that Remus also gets attention from other females? Do you constantly day dream about Sirius's eyes?_

…..no.

James holds open the door of the diner for me.

Where are you getting at Ralph?

_Friends don't think about each other like that. Friends don't daydream about kissing some one's 'deliciously sexy lips'. Friends don't like the feelings of each other's back rubs. _

…and your point is?

We all sit down at a table. The diner is comfy, and there are delicious smells coming from its kitchen, making my mouth water.

"Merlin, I'm starved." Remus mutters.

_Gods, Lily, you're stupid._

Excuse-me?

_Lily, look at your feelings for your 'friend' James, and your feelings for your other friends, and tell me you're not in love with him. _

I already told you-

_No. This isn't about me anymore. This isn't about which one of us can claim victory over the other. This is about you lying to yourself. Lie to your friends, for Merlin's sake, lie to your own mother Lily, but don't lie to yourself. Don't lie to me._

I turn to look out the window as a waitress approaches us. The busy streets, the people, the buildings, remind of something out of a movie.

I turn to look at James, who's reading his menu.

And I turn to the window again.

…..I'm in love with James Potter….bloody hell….

**A/N: DUHN DUHN DUHN! CLIFFHANGER! This is probably the first time ever that I've done a double authors note, but, I wanna do a little somethin' somethin. See, this particular chapter completely wiped me out, so I need some suggestions. What do you think they should do in Toronto? And no, they can't go and jump of the CN Tower. Give me suggestions, otherwise I'll have writers block for the next six months and there will be no updates! To make it more fun, let's make it a contest! The deadline shall be 11:59 pm Sunday October 30, 2011. Any suggestions after that will not be accepted. I will pick my top three that I will be using! I'll tell you via reply. Also, the chapter in which your idea will be featured in shall be of course, dedicated to you. (I can't take ALL the credit, DUH.) As my cousins in Quebec would say, bonne chance mes amis! **


	20. Smashing Heads

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own any of JK Rowling's characters and plot. In other words, I own nothing. Except for Ralph. Ralph is all mine!**

**A/N: Hello again! I hope you aren't too angry with me! If you are, I hope this chapter earns me your forgiveness. I was thinking that this is probably my last update for this year. Don't worry though, Lily and Ralph shall be back in the New Year. I hope all you dear readers have been enjoying your Holidays, I know I am. Actually, I should start studying for exams, but pooie that. I still have two weeks after the break ends. Happy Holidays! Happy New Year! Kisses all around!**

**Chapter 20**

**Smashing Heads**

Oh, hell, oh hell, oh BLOODY HELL. What, I ask, in the name of Merlin's sh-ish-kacoby friends the Fates has happened to me? (Huh? HUH? DO YOU HEAR ME FATES?) You have ruined my life! And yet, you didn't even think about _thinking _about what would happen if you jinxed me to fall in love with this- this- _creature_!

Do you, in any of your old, prunie brains know what'll happen? It will upset the world! But, _no, _you just had to go and cut my yarn with those dangerously sharp scissors of yours! Just because my lovely, muted yellow of yarn turned hot pink, it doesn't mean you can just take your scissors and go _snip snip!_

The axis of our planet Earth will tip 32.789 degrees to the right, causing our climate to change drastically; the North Pole will be a frozen ice cube while the Antarctica becomes tropic! Half of the world's animals will be wiped out, and be replaced by mammoth cannibalistic Halloyahs, who will wipe out the human race as they migrate to the tropic Arctic in the summer and back to their native land of Atlantis in the winter!

_Uh, Lily? Sub-conscience speaking. I would just like to say that-_

Moderate climates will become deserts, cold ones will become Arctic! The world as we know it will be extreme to its limits! There will be no size mediums, there will only be extra smalls and extra larges! People will find it suitable to marry at fifteen years of age but never have children by themselves, but to have perfect little children created by labs on the third day of the third month of their thirty second year of life and-

_Lily! What the hell?_

What now Ralph? Can't you just let me continue with my speech, and _then _bother me?

_Well I don't necessarily think that can be called a speech. _

And why ever not?

_Speeches are made to prove a point about a stated fact. There is no way in a million years that you could change the world by tilting the axis just by loving someone too much. _

Yes, I can.

_I'm not going to argue with you Lily, but just to be clear, YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE WORLD BY LOVING JAMES._

Oh YEAH? Well, what if one day, I tell him I love him, and he doesn't believe me, and tells me to prove it, and prove it I do. What if to prove my love for him, I make an exact mammoth sculpture of him-

_You're rambling again._

_-_ Out of the finest gemstones that I can steal from Gringotts, a statue so large that that burly sixth year Slytherin will only be the size of his pinky toes, and I spend my entire life working on it! At the end, it'll be so heavy that it will tip the Earth's axis exactly 32.789 degrees to the right, resulting in the events of human and climate change, me being put into Azkaban, the half of the human population that wasn't gorged on by the-

_I lost you at 'pinky toes'_

_-_ Halloyahs to die of the cancer-

_Cancer? Cancer isn't contagious._

-Epidemic that I couldn't find a cure for because I was too busy making the statue for James, which by then James will have gotten bored of me and gotten married to a beautiful blonde and will have had six darling children with her, so by the time I'm done, not only will I be exhausted, but-

_Fine, just carry on like I'm not here._

_-_ I will have never had the chance to prove James of my love so I shall be left heartbroken, friendless, and lifeless. DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU JUST DID TO ME THERE FATES? The chance of me being able to live a happy life after this is slim to none!

_Lily, the likelihood of _that_ ever happening is slim to none. The chance that James would ever tell you to prove that you love him is exactly zero. Actually, being-_

LALALALALALALA! Not listening to you Ralph!

_-The teenage boy he is, he might just snog you senseless. The-_

SNOG ME SENSELESS? ISN'T THAT SOME FORM OF RAPE?

_-Possibility of you putting aside your life to build a bloody statue for James to prove your love is zero. You are a feminist, Lily. Remember? Halloyahs, or whatever the hell you call them, do not exist, and never will. According to the laws of physics, you can't possibly make a statue large enough to tilt the-_

OH! Who's carrying on like the other isn't here NOW?

-_ Earth. It's more likely that you will put a dent in the ground on which it is standing. James would never fall in love with somebody else; he's fallen way too deep with you to ever be able to climb back out of the ditch he fell into named '_Lily'. _You're just being paranoid and self conscious that after six years you were finally able to admit that you love him just as much as he loves you, if not more. _

….Are you done yet? Please (note the sarcasm) carry on while I check my toenails for chips in the nail polish.

_For the time being._

Good. My turn. That is where you are wrong Ralph. I hated him for six years, not loved. I repeat: HATE, not LOVE. Just because they end with the same letter doesn't mean they're the same word Ralph. Being as old as the universe, I thought you were smarter than that.

_If you must know, I am _much smarter than that. _There's a very fine line between love and hate Lils. If you 'hate' somebody, as you say, you are far closer to loving them than somebody who merely tolerates them. A lot of times, people just confuse hate with love. I've seen it happen once too many times for you to doubt me. When you think you hate someone; all it takes is one small act for you to realize that you're really in love with them. You thought you hated James because you wanted to. You hate that he ruffles his hair because you want to, not because you find it annoying. You hate that he's a ladies' man not because you think it inflates his ego too much, but because you were always jealous deep inside, even if you pretended you weren't. _

I was never jealous! I merely worried about the mental health of those girls who were sure to be heartbroken!

_Well, like the future James Potter will say, 'Prove it.' Why were you sure they were going to be heartbroken?_

BECAUSE THAT'S JUST THE TYPE THE PERSON POTTER IS OKAY? THAT IS MY FINAL ANSWER! LOCK IT IN!

_Yes, and Remus is secretly planning to jump up onto that table right now and strip down to wildly erotic music. Meanwhile, that waitress over there with the pink bubblegum is going to run up to Peter in approximately three seconds and confess her undying love for him after which they will run away together to the land of Halloyah to adopt baby Halloyahs as children. I wasn't born yesterday you know. _

Of course that won't happen you silly goose. Remus wouldn't do that even if he was under the imperious curse. And Peter would pass out from the proximity of being so near a female human before they would have a chance to run away, and-

_Ahe-hem._

What now Ralph?

…_._

…

…

…..oh. You were being sarcastic weren't you?

_How cleverly spotted. _

Oh, shut up, you.

_And yet, you find it appropriate to question my wisdom. _

Well, you might as well have been born yesterday! You only started talking to me a couple days ago! Next you'll be telling me that you know exactly what the raw meat of a five year old possum tastes like!

_Er- I do in fact know what that tastes like. _

EXCUSE-ME?

_Well, like I said, I'm part of your immortal soul. Souls are souls whether they're in a human body or not. You weren't always human._

HA! SO JAMES POTTER WASN'T ALWAYS PART OF MY LIFE! Can we go back to that please? So I don't have to worry about tipping the Earth?

_James wasn't always human either. And everyone has a soul mate. Not just humans. And to tell you the truth Lily, you didn't find James in your past two lives. You made choices that caused you two to never cross paths. So this is exciting for me. Seeing him after two lifetime's worth is totally worth it, and uh-mazing!_

Two lives without James Potter? Lucky me! How about we try for a third lifetime, eh? (I am giving you my most winning smile Ralph, please notice and take note.)

_Not likely. You won't be happy knowing that he's within reach and you simply chose not to have him because you chose not to want him. But don't worry, that's fine by me. Why don't you want him anyways?_

….He's a toerag. A snobby and selfish little boy. He never puts others before himself. He's only caring on some occasions. He's tall and handsome. Those eyes of his see right through me. His glasses give him a sexy look. He's adorable when he pouts and blushes. He's muscular and soft at the same time. He's kind and listens to me. He holds open doors for me like a gentleman. He's got amazing hands. He makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. He- YOU SNEAKY CREEPER RALPH!

_Excuse me while I stick my head (sorry, your head) out the window and yell 'Hurrah' at the top of my lungs. (Your lungs) I owe reverse psychology that one. While we're at it, why don't we continue?_

Ugh. I hate losing. But…I can't believe I'm saying this…..or thinking…which would it be? Would I do want him. I want to see him every day, and to wake up next to him and smile at him and have him smile at me and run my hands through his hair and kiss those delicious lips he's got and to get married to him, and have children (many, many) with him and grow old with him and die with him holding my hand but I HATE HIM SO BLOODY MUCH and-

"What can I get you?" The pleasant voice of the waitress interrupts my thoughts.

"Oh, erm-" I look around noticing James's gaze on me, and the blush creeps up onto my cheeks faster than an angry bee stings, "I'll have the er-deluxe-halibut-fish-with-the-large-cut-chips." I finish in a rush, my lips reading the first thing my eyes see on the menu.

"Mmmmhmmm," She mumbles as she scribbles that down with a purple pen. "And how about you?" She turns to someone else, but I don't notice.

Oh Merlin, oh Merlin, he was looking at me; he completely and utterly noticed what happened right there, OH GODS HE CAN READ MY MIND and GODS MY LIFE IS NOW RUINED!

_Calm down Lily. He can't read your mind. _

He just found out, now he's going to laugh at me, and make fun of me behind my back, and make me the laughing stock of the entire Wizarding World, and-oh, why do I care? I'd rather he hate me and never speak to me so I can get over him but-

_DAMN IT LILY. Why are you being so bloody confusing?_

I'm not being confusing; you just don't understand my thoughts. Get out of my head.

_I wish I could sweetheart. Unfortunately, I'm here to stay. Maybe in your next life you'll be a simple and sweet girl who will actually listen to me._

Ooooooooooooo, lucky me, lucky you, THIS ISN'T HELPING MY SITIUATION HERE.

_Okay, okay. Calm down. So, your problem is, you know you're madly in love with him, you even admitted to yourself and me, yet you don't necessarily, want to be in love with James. Am I correct?_

Correct.

_So, according to my deeply wise and logical mind, we need to make pros and cons list to see what's to your benefit and what's not if you follow your heart. _

Right. I can't believe this Ralph, we're actually getting along!

_Hm, maybe, don't get used to it._

Don't burst my bubble.

_In your dreams. Pros?_

He's kind. He's funny. He's very good looking. He gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. He's gone from an arrogant boy to a delightfully sexy man in the span of two months. He's got a great smile. His voice makes my knees wobble and my heart melt. He makes me forget my own name. I want to hold his wonderfully soft and warm hands and never let them go. I want to force him to paint the walls of our future living room sunshine yellow, and to have lots and lots of messy haired, badly sighted children with him. I want to cuddle up with him under a blanket in front of a fire in the dead of winter. I want to open my eyes in the morning and see only him. I want to hold his hand as we run in a sun-filled meadow with a spring breeze whipping our hair around our faces.

"There you go." The waitress says as she sets my plate in front of me. I tuck in. Dude, all this thinking and love are making me hungry.

_Dude, all this fluff is making me sick to my stomach. _

I thought we agreed that for the time being, you would be supportive. I chew on my fish, frowning to myself. To my right, I can see that the boys are already halfway through their plates. They shall not beat me. I stuff another forkful in my already bulging mouth.

_Well you're making it very hard to do. 'Hold his hand as we run in a sun-filled meadow?' Seriously?_

Hey! Love is blind!

_And deaf, mute, and lacking common sense apparently. _

If you were a real person Ralph, and not just a figment of my imagination, I swear I would slap you into the next century right now.

_I cannot believe you just said I'm a figment of your imagination. I AM NOT A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION!_

Well who else has their sub-conscience just randomly start talking to them?

_Lots of people. They're just better at hiding the crazed look in their eyes than you. _

"Lily, what's wrong with you? You're going to start choking soon." Sophia says to me over the rim of her juice.

"Mmmf?" I say with my mouth full. This stuff is very good you know. You should try it Ralph.

_No thank you. I'm losing my appetite just watching you. _

"I believe the process is chew, swallow, then speak." Jennifer says smirking.

_I completely agree with her._

Take my side for once Ralph, will you?

_No._

I swallow hard. "I'm hungry, that's all."

"What, after those three packs of Milk Duds?" Gilda bends down to retrieve her fallen napkin.

"Two." I stuff my mouth again, determined to beat Remus, who is well on his way to his last few bites. "Your _darling_ boyfriend thought it would be funny to steal one pack and swallow it whole in front of my eyes."

Sirius lets out his bark-like laugh. "I never thanked you for them Lily-kins. They were delicious. They rivaled those chocolate frogs I'm obsessed with." With a wink he stuffed his last bite into his mouth and leaned back in his chair.

My hands itch to cause severe injury on him somewhere. I could stab him with my fork, wait until he leans back on the back legs of his chair and push him over, give him a groin injury, or even throw him out the window!

_Ooooo, another pro that we can add to our list. You've never had the burning desire to throw James out of a window. _

No, but I have wanted to push him down a flight of stairs.

_But a window means certain death, and flight of stairs will only ensure severe injury. Possibly a week in St. Mungo's. _

Or he could just break his neck on the way down. It's not like Sirius will die if I toss him out the window. We're at ground level. He'll just have a hard landing.

_Fine. We can scratch that one out then. Any cons?_

The entire female population of Hogwarts wants him. I will not be able to survive knowing that each and every one of them is secretly plotting to murder me in my sleep. He's too tall. I will break my neck trying to kiss him. I will have to get that sixth year Ravenclaw with the curly hair to _Avada_ me.

_Why?_

Back in second year, when James jumped up on the table to announce his love for me to the whole Great Hall, she told me that we would make a cute couple. So then I made her promise that if I were to ever fall in love with a certain messy-haired toe-rag she would _Avada_ me without second thought.

…_.._

What, nothing witty to say to me now?

_You have made me speechless for once Lily Evans. Completely and utterly speechless. I have nothing to say to you. _

Fine. We shall continue then. He might get killed because of me in this war. I am a muggle-born after all. That will endanger his pure-blood status.

_I don't think that'll make a difference. His entire family are well known as blood-traitors. _

The Potters maybe, but it's not like they've ruled _him_ out specifically as a muggle-lover. He could be just as bad as the Slytherins for all they know.

_Maybe. Anything else?_

Not really.

"Done Lils?" Remus points out. Everyone else is done or finishing up. Damn. Not only did I lose to Remus, but to everyone else too.

I nod, stuffing my last couple of fries into my mouth.

"Right then, let's go." James and Sirius both toss a couple of the green bills onto the table and we exit back into the bright sunshine.

What's the score Ralph?

_14-4._

Cons win, right?

_Nope._

Oh come on! Me endangering his life has got to count for at least twenty points!

_Not in my world._

Sigh. Well, Ralph, we agreed to this.

"Ice-skating, anyone?" Gilda calls out, pointing at a large rink filled with people. I brighten up instantly. I love ice-skating. I remember when my dad would always take me ice-skating on the first day of winter. It was our tradition.

"Ice-what?" James and Sirius pipe at the same time. Peter merely squeaks in fear, and Remus and Sophia share knowing smiles, as if they were planning this the whole time.

Jennifer shrugs at me as if saying, '_I'll do it if you do'. _I nod my head enthusiastically, earning a laugh from her.

"It's a sport. You have these special shoes with blades on the bottom and then you just sort of glide on the ice."

Sirius lets out a low whistle. "That's sounds dangerous, right Prongs?" James nods furiously, fear widening his eyes.

Oh, he's just adorable, isn't he?

"It's not any more dangerous than Quidditch. The most dangerous thing that can happen here is you slip and smash your head open. But in Quidditch, you can fall from forty meters in the air and go _splat_ on the ground like an overly-ripe tomato." Sophia shoots back.

Sirius narrows his eyes, thinking it over.

"Fine." James says crossing his arms and pouting. If he were a pet, he'd be a fluffy newborn kitten. "I'll try it, but if I fall and smash my head open, I'm suing you all."

Remus laughs. "Fair enough." He turns to Sirius. "Padfoot?"

Sirius narrows his eyes further, reducing them to little grey slits. "There is no way in hell I am getting in shoes that have knives on the bottom."

"And there is no way in hell you are going to ruin our fun. It's seven against one. I believe you're outnumbered." Remus shoots at him.

"Six. Wormy is on my side." He points out, with a helpful '_Eep'_ from Peter.

"Even if he was, you'd still be outnumbered mate."

"Fine. But I will also 'sue' or whatever the hell you call it if I get killed."

Peter nods seriously, as if anyone is paying attention to him.

"Righty-ho then! Off we go!" Gilda cheers as she hops along the street to our destination.

I wrinkle my nose at the bad rime. Well, Ralph, I'm not going to back up on my word. We agreed that if the pros list were to win, I would willingly be happy about it. If the cons won, I would try my best to get over him.

_The pros won._

I get the feeling you knew all along this was going to happen.

_Of course I knew you silly goose. But look on the brightside. At least you've got a hunk of a man waiting for you. _

Awww, Ralphie, you're so sweet, I take back what I said about slapping you into the next century.

_Really?_

No. Did you not detect the SARCASM in my voice?

_Oh very clever. Using my own tricks against me now are we? So creative._

My methods may lack creativity Ralph, but they are effective.

_That, I have to give to you. _

Ten minutes later, I find myself laced up in a pair of fairly beat up rental skates. But they are skates, and will have to do.

The rink is a large square, filled with people of all ages and types gliding along in counter-clockwise rotation. Some are experts, twirling and spinning as they go, and some are fumbling with their feet, grabbing onto friends and complete strangers for balance. Three metal arches are placed over the outdoor rink in midpoint. They offer no protection from weather; I don't see why they're put there. Must be some sort of architectural thing.

I smile to myself. Sweet revenge. Now Sirius will get what he properly deserves. If I get lucky, he might even shed some blood.

_A little blood thirsty now, aren't we?_

Very much, thank you.

_Wonder what'll happen if James smashes his head open? Will you laugh?_

Of course not dummy, how will we have five mini Potters and Evans if he smashes his head open?

_Oooh, good point. _

No duh.

_Five, eh?_

Yes, I've thought about it, and decided I want five children.

_No you didn't, I would've heard you if you did. You just thought of that on the spot so you'd have a witty comeback._

DAMN YOU RALPH! MUST YOU ALWAYS BE ONE STEP AHEAD OF ME?

_Where would I be if I wasn't one step ahead of you? You'd still be convinced that you hated James Potter._

SO?

"Lils, you coming?" Remus asks.

"Wha-? Oh, yes." I hurriedly step out onto the ice and _swoosh_; I slip and land on my tooche.

"OUCH." I yelp as my bottom collides with the hard ice.

"Your skills are a bit rusty I see." Remus says a matter-of-a-factly.

I glare at him and get up, still a bit wobbly. I'll show him who's boss.

_What's up with all this blood thirst today?_

People keep telling me what I can and can't do. I NEED TO FIGHT BACK!

_I think all this fluffy love is getting to your head a bit Lily, you need to calm down._

I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT NEED TO-

"You coming or what?" Remus looks at me like I'm crazy. Mind you, I am, so it doesn't really make a difference, and Ralph-if-you-even-think-about-one-little-snide-comment-I-will-use-my-mind-power-to-blast-you-into-outerspace.

_Come at me kid. Go on, blast me to outer space._

Ahem, yes, IGNORING YOU.

"Coming." After a few failed tries, I glide smoothly across the ice like my dad taught me to do such a long time ago. "Phew." I grin. "I'd thought I'd forgotten how to skate."

"Nah, it just comes back to you. Like riding a bike." Remus snaps his gum.

I notice a few girls around our age staring at him as they pass. Well, I can't blame them. If I wasn't so bloody in love with a pig-head I'd totally go after Remus.

I look over my shoulder to see Sophia and Jennifer giggling as they hold on to each other to keep from slipping. A few feet away, Gilda stands with her hands on her hips as she unsuccessfully attempts to convince the boys to get onto the ice.

"Oh go on…..no? Sirius, don't give me that look. You know I was joking about smashing your head in….Peter I swear on Merlin's Bolognese dancing trousers that it's loads of fun…..I promise you all I'll swoop in and catch you like some muggle superhero if any of you even show signs of slipping….."

I skate over to where they are, cutting the ice at an angle to stop.

"Here. We'll teach them one to one. Remus!" I call over my shoulder. Remus is waving at some little child who thought it'd be funny to wave at him as he was skating by.

"What?" He calls back.

"Get over here and take your pick. You'll be teaching one these losers," I gesture with my hand, "To learn the beautiful art of ice-skating." I finish with a flourish.

A chorus of '_Hey!'_s and '_Excuse-me'_s follow my comment. Sirius's crossed arms drop in shock; James's (oh James, how adorable you are) surprised brow slackens, and Peter lets out another squeak, one in surprise this time.

"What, you thought we were just going to let you stand there for the entire day?" I say, "As if." I scoff.

_What a feisty creature you are. I can see why James adores you._

I wish. He's probably over me any ways.

_We'll see._

"Yes, good idea Lily, Peter, why don't you come with me? I'll teach you how to balance yourself out first." Remus offers. Peter unwillingly takes Remus's outstretched hand. Poor Peter, his unbalanced co-ordination never thought he'd have to do this.

"Right then. Come along mister oh-so-sexy; let's see how useful your Quidditch skills really are." Gilda grips Sirius's upper arms, and when he refuses to step out onto the ice, she yanks him, causing them to both tumble in a heap on the edge of the rink.

"Hey, that wasn't so bad." Sirius mumbles as Gilda giggles.

I turn around to see I am left with James. I see those blasted Fates have decided to intersect with my life again.

_Remember, you can work with this._

Shut up Ralph.

"Come on. It's not that hard James," I offer him my hand. Oh how I love how his name tumbles out from between my lips!

He bites his lip, looking utterly kissable. He reluctantly puts his hand in mine. I can feel the heat coming from his soft hand even through our gloves.

I gently guide him to the ice and allow him to stand there, to get a feel of his surroundings. He has no trouble balancing; I do give Quidditch that much credit, all that balancing on a think stick of wood with only one leg must give him some co-ordination.

"Right. Not so bad is it now?" I ask him.

He smiles at me, but grips my hand hard. "Not so bad."

"No suing in the near future?" I joke.

"No suing."

I'm laughing as I twist my body to see if the path is clear. It happens in a flash, so fast I don't even have time to register what's happening. My foot catches on niche in the ice as I turn, sending me flying.

I do have to give more credit to Quidditch. It's given James wicked fast reaction skills. The second before I fall backward, surely smashing my head, he catches me and pulls me towards him, but loses his balance himself.

We also, fall in a heap in a heap on the ice, but this time the breath is knocked out of me as I land on his chest. Hard.

"Ouch." I mutter. I notice my lips are very close to his.

"Wasn't so bad." He groans quietly, opening his eyes. His eyes are even brighter up close. They darken a shade when he sees how close we are. If I wanted to, in fluid motion, I could just swoop down and mash my lips into his. Buy OBVIOUSLY, I'm not.

_Yeah, right. _

I can smell his sweet breath as he breathes. Clearly he also has his fair share of the Milk Duds. I can feel the rest of our group staring at us in anticipation.

"Lily." He breathes.

_Ooooooooooooo, kissy kissy! Tension! Let me just grab my knife to cut it!_

**A/N: Why thank you Ralph, for that lovely comment. I do appreciate it, really, I do, when you just pop in at unexpected moments. So dear readers, what do you think? Click on that little review button and tell me! Constructive criticism is welcome!**


	21. Screwups

**DISCLAIMER: None of it is mine.**

_Where we left our dear Lily last: _

I can smell his sweet breath as he breathes. Clearly he also has his fair share of the Milk Duds. I can feel the rest of our group staring at us in anticipation.

"Lily." He breathes.

_Ooooooooooooo, kissy kissy! Tension! Let me just grab my knife to cut it!_

**Chapter 21**

**Screw-ups**

I jerk upright in shock. DAMN YOU RALPH!

_What?_

COULD YOU NOT SEE WE WERE HAVING A MOMENT THERE?!

_Hey! It was a tense situation! It's a little something called comic relief!_

…One of these days, Ralph, I _swear_…..

My sudden movement has got me splayed across the ice, frozen in thought as skaters struggle to not chop my body into little tiny pieces with their rather sharp shoes.

_So what are you suggesting? That you were actually going to kiss him?_

Ralph, you won the bet. You and his soul get to 'reunite'. You're having the best three days of your life. _I'm_ in love with this bloke; the least you can do is offer us some privacy!

…_Err….sorry?_

YOU COMPLETELY RUINED MY CHANCES WITH HIM AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS SORRY?

_Well, what am I supposed to say? Anyways, you're overreacting Lily; you'll get your chance._

"Err, Lily? Are you okay?" James gently shakes my arm.

"Hmm?" I mumble, staring at the bright sun.

"Are you alright?" His breath tickles my ear.

"Swell." I mutter, looking over at him. His hazel eyes look concerned, but there is a hidden spark of mischief glittering underneath the golden orbs.

"Are you sure? Did you break something?"

Awwwww, the panic in his voice is adorable. I think I'll just fake a broken leg to have him mope over me some more.

_Don't be stupid Lily._

I'm not being stupid Ralph. I am merely being utterly incoherent as a result of falling madly in love.

_So in other words, you're being stupid._

IGNORING YOU.

"Liiiiillllllyyyyyyy." He draws out my name like a song.

Oh, how sexy does that voice sound right now? VERY SEXY. Imagine waking up to that voice everyday Ralph. Cue the angels singing!

_You're ridiculous. _

"Hmmmmmmmmm?"

"Are you going to get up or do I have to knock you out completely so I can pick you up without fear of you kicking me?"

Hmmmmmmmmm, it would be nice if those strong, manly arms of his were to scoop me up…..

No! NO! BAD LILY! You shall be the feminist that you are! You are not waiting until your prince in shining armor comes to rescue you! You shall go to him! You shall not indulge in little unnecessary pleasures in life like having James-oh-so-sexy-Potter pick you up and carry you off into the sunset!

_Spoken like a true woman, my dear._

"Err, I'm fine." I say, sitting up, shaking my head to clear the dizziness.

A spray of shaven ice hits me across the face.

"Oh, sorry Lily," Gilda says from beside me. Her skates had scraped along the ice as she tried to stop, "Hey! Sirius! Where are you going? DON'T YOU DARE STEP OFF THE ICE YOUNG MAN, OR I WILL MAKE CERTAIN EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT A GIRLISH GIGGLE YOU HAVE!" She skates off after a hobbling Sirius, who is trying to tiptoe his way off the ice.

"It's fine," I mumble after she's gone, clutching my stinging cheek. What is it with me getting hurt today?

"Here," James grabs my hands and pulls me to my feet. "If I can't pick you up, then the least I can do is help you." He brushes a fleck of ice from my hair.

My heart jumps up and down inside my chest. I fear it'll pop out soon. A blush creeps unto my cheeks, leaving them a brilliant red.

"Hghjjzsh." I blurb.

_I'm sorry, but I don't speak gibberish._

"What?" His eyes widen.

"Th-thank you." I stutter.

"Anytime." He looks at me weirdly, as if I had just jumped up and screamed a marriage proposal to a bird overhead.

I tighten my hold on his hands for a moment before releasing them, letting them drop to my sides.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Peter yelps as with a spectacular slip, he is thrown into the air and lands rather hard on his seat.

"Oomph." He says in surprise.

Remus, who was beside him when he fell, looks at us for a second, then at Peter, then at us again. Something in our faces must've been very funny, as he suddenly bursts into laughter.

"What's funny?" Peter asks from his post on the ground.

"Nothing….nothing…not you Pete…just…not laughing at you…" Remus gasps between peals of laughter.

"Yes you were." He crosses his arms, knocking the blades of his skates together.

James breaks into a broad smile, chuckling a bit himself. "You have to admit Wormy, that was bloody fantastic. The circus acrobats need you."

"Was than an insult?"

"Of course not."

"I think it was."

"No it wasn't."

I stare at James as he smirks at his friend. One corner of those delicious lips of his has tugged up, and his opposite eyebrow is raised, giving him an air of mischief and oh-so-sexiness.

The brisk wind flutters his messy locks around his face, momentarily shielding his eyes from the world.

As he plants his hands on his hips, I swear I can see the ropy muscles of arms flex through his jacket.

His lips are moving, brushing against each other; he's saying something. But I can't hear his words. I can't hear anything. The only sound is the beat of the wind blowing against my ears. It's as if I've gone deaf.

The wind picks up, but I can't feel its sharp sting against my skin. It's like a bubble of warmth surrounding me.

I see nobody but James. I don't see Peter on the ground, pouting, and I don't see Remus, who should be a little off to the side, giggling. I don't see either Gilda or Sirius or Jennifer or Sophia, and I most certainly don't see any of the strangers, who should be skating around the rink in frenzy.

I don't see anyone, just James, surrounded by a white halo, his hair moving in slow motion as if with a life of its own.

I sink to the cold ground in content, crossing my legs, placing my elbows on my legs and my hands against my chin. I can't seem to stop staring at him.

_Hello?_

_Earth to Lily?_

_Lily?_

_Lillian Evans!_

_YO!_

What, Ralph?

_Snap out of it!_

No.

_No?_

No.

_You weirdo. You're SITTING on the ice, staring at him like he's food or something._

Ew. I would never try to eat James…well…not in the cannibalistic way anyways.

_You pervert._

I never claimed to be otherwise, my dear Ralph.

…_Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?_

Oh, Ralphie, doesn't he look so adorable?

…_Erm…_

I kind of wish I could go over there and jump him…

…_Well what's stopping you?_

RALPH.

_What?_

Do you have any idea how improper that would be?

_Since when are you the poster-child of 'proper'?_

Ralph. It'd be embarrassing.

_So? People do it all the time in muggle movies. It always ends well._

Sorry to disappoint you, but this is not a muggle movie.

_Come on. It'll be cute. Ten Galleons he'll try to grope you on the spot. Then come to talk to me about inappropriateness. _

For whom?

_For the poor kids watching. _

What kids?

_You do realize that there are people around, right?_

People?

_Never mind._

What's that supposed to mean?

_It means that you're stupid and delusional._

EXCUSE-ME?

_You heard me._

IGNORING YOU.

_Go ahead._

Still IGNORING YOU.

I sigh, and close my eyes for a moment, but it's as if the image of James is painted on the inside of my eyelids.

Reluctantly, I open them once more, but the picture is different this time. He has his back to me. I frown.

What am I supposed to drool over now?

_His touché?_

Did you forget the part where I'm ignoring you?

_Yes._

Shut-up.

_I'm only trying to be helpful._

Big help you've been lately.

_Of course I've been helpful. Have you forgotten? I helped you realize that through this whole time, you really do love James. I've helped fate turn down the path it was destined to go down. If you'd decided to ignore the butterflies when it comes to James, both of you would've been miserable for the rest of your lives, and you would've been defying the stars. You're not supposed to go against what you're destined to do. It's for the best. _

Well I'm not exactly happy right now Ralph.

_You will be. Trust me. _

And what if I don't want to trust you?

_Ugh. If I had my own physical form, I would strangle you. I have seen far more than you have. I have a lot more experience than you ever will. What else do you need to be convinced to trust me?_

Have you ever wondered Ralph, about exactly how sketchy you sound?

_Sketchy?_

Yes. You seem to want me to be with James, and to be happy. And yet, you don't seem to want anything in return. As far as I know, you could be some demonic presence trying to posses me and to take over the world.

_Of course I'm getting something in return. _

What's that?

_Fate fulfilled, reuniting with James's soul, a somewhat happy ending for two people in this world._

you just want James's soul! You are a demonic presence after all!

_I don't want his soul. I want to reunite with his soul. There's a difference. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've been with him?_

So what, is this your own twisted love story too?

_In a way._

Merlin. Why won't he just turn around so I can stare at him again?

He turns slowly towards me, as if just my thought was powerful enough to draw his attention. As if I called his name with the voice of someone who he hadn't seen in a long time, and he's been pleasantly surprised.

His hazel eyes lock with mine, raising his eyebrows at the sight of me sitting on the ice. I can feel the ice dampening the bottom of my trousers, but I hardly care.

After a moment, he smiles a breathtaking smile. It lights up his face much like the way the rising sun brings light from horizon to horizon.

My breath hitches in my throat, and a shy smile creeps up on my face in return.

_If only you two could see how ridiculous you both look._

Must you always interrupt at the worst moments?

_Seriously. Make a move. _

Shut-

_MAKE A MOVE._

Ra-

_Stop looking like a bunch of mentally challenged baboons, for Merlin's sake. _

Stop it!

_I'm trying to help!_

You're not succeeding.

_Oh ho. That was the wrong thing to say, Lily dear. Ralph always succeeds._

Oh yeah?

_Just watch me. _

Suddenly, the boom of oncoming thunder rumbles overhead. Surprised, we both look up, only to see that a mass of heavy black clouds is slowly yet surely, covering the bright sun.

The smell of rain fills me, and the air seems to spark with electricity.

The world seems to come into a standstill for a moment, than people all around us start to hurry off of the ice, not wanting to be caught in the rain.

"Shit." I hear people mutter to themselves.

"Run, people, run! Take cover!"

"I am never trusting the weatherman _ever again._ 'I promise a day of sunshine and fair skies.' Psh. Sunshine and fair skies my-"

"Language young man!"

"Wha-"

My ears catch snippets of conversation as people rush past us for cover.

My eyebrows furrow? What's a little rain? It rains all the time.

James's face is a mask of confusion.

I turn to look for the others, but it seems as if they've already stepped off of the ice, leaving me, James, and a few other stragglers as the only ones left, while all the muggles pack up and run for cover.

What is this, a hurricane? It's still dry, but the weather has an eerie sort of calm about it. Yikes.

_Shelter, Lily shelter._

It's not even raining yet!

_It's not going to rain._

What?

_Hail. Grab James while you're at it too. _

Don't be a whimp Ralph. Nothing's going to happen when we get a little wet. Remember where we're from.

_IT'S NOT RAIN!_

The first pellets hit me my cheek, leaving a sharp sting in its place. I look around to see the small balls of ice hitting the ground at regular intervals before they pick up speed.

Ohhhh, that's what you meant by hail Ralph. Thought you were just begging for attention.

_Idiot._

I still don't see what's so bad about this. It's just hail. At least we won't get wet.

Just then, a rumble of thunder breaks out, and the raindrops start to fall too, faster and faster, until I can feel the freezing pellets soak through my jacket.

_Spoke too soon._

Shut up.

"Lils, what are you waiting for? Run!" Gilda calls from the edge of the ice, her hand holding Sirius's arm in a death grip while Remus helps Peter out of his skates.

I look around me blankly, only to see that everyone's left the ice, leaving only James and I , who's slowly picking his way over the ice towards me.

" I guess we'd better get going then, eh?" He smalls a small smile as he gets within earshot.

I nod numbly. I begin to make my way across the rink.

_Uh, Lily?_

What now?

_James can't skate. You're really going to leave him there?_

Right.

I turn around once more, and then offer him my hand as if in a dream.

He takes it, and a surge of electricity goes through me. I give a start, blinking out of my daze. He looks dumfounded, and he's staring at me, speechless.

He felt it too.

"Okay then. Come along." I whisper quietly, pulling him close enough that I can grab his other hand too.

Something sparks in his eyes.

Shit. Shit. Shit. What's wrong with me?

Can he tell? He can tell can't he? HE CAN.

_Calm down Lily._

NO NO NO.

I gulp. The better we get off the ice, the better. I can't stand it. I can't stand his gaze. It's like a fire burning through me. I can't, I CAN'T.

I look down, refusing to meet his gaze, and then start to skate backwards, dragging him along with me, stopping only when I feel the concrete edge connect with the back of my skates.

"Lily, wait, I-" I don't give him a chance to finish his sentence as I hurriedly step off the ice.

"We'd a- we'd better get going then." I stutter, heat flaming my cheeks.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

_What now?_

He can tell, can't he? That spark said it all, didn't it?

_Tell what?_

That-that…well…you know…my feelings!

_Well you are kind of obvious about it._

WHAT?!

_I'll bet you Peter even knows._

What? No! No! He's going to turn me down now, isn't he? ISN'T HE?

_Lily, calm yourself. He's not going to turn you down-_

YES HE IS. IT WAS ALL JUST A GAME TO HIM, WASN'T IT?

_You idiot. Have you been listening to a word I've been saying? YOU'RE SOULMATES. YOU'RE DESTINED TO FEEL FOR EACH OTHER._

Yeah, well, he's defied fate then, hasn't he?

_Ugh. I'm done here. Talk to me when you've calmed down a bit._

Ralph, don't you turn your back on me, DON'T YOU DARE-

…Ralph?

Hello?

RALPH?

I cannot believe you Ralph, you insufferable little-

"Lily, hurry!" Sophia calls out to me.

The rain is falling in thick, icy sheets now. I see that the others are well ahead of me, running to get out of the rain.

Only James stand beside me, looking at me expectantly. My heart skips a beat. Awwwww, how cute is he? Waiting for me and all that?

"Coming?" He asks, his voice soft.

I nod, and we both take off, following the others.

I can keep pace with him easily, although I suspect that he is purposely running to slow to not leave me behind.

Psh, thinks he so much better than me? I show him.

I sneak him a sidelong glance.

"I'll race you," I say, pointing with my chin to a dry area under the eaves of a building across the narrow street, where the others are headed.

He smirks at me, the signature smirk that had decorated his face for so long that I'm surprised that it hasn't become permanent.

"Think you can beat me, Evans?"

"I know I can beat you Potter." With that I sprint forward, my sneakers slapping against the wet pavement, the icy rain hitting me at frequent intervals.

"Hey! Unfair!" He calls out from behind me.

I giggle, and I only pause for to second to check for car before running across the street.

No sooner have my feet hit the pavement on the other side of the road that I'm hit with the sudden feeling of flying.

I think I've grown wings!

_Stupid Lily._

Oh, talking to me now again, huh?

I give a start when I realize that no, I'm not actually flying, but James has picked me pick and swung me over his shoulder before I cross our makeshift finish line.

"Hey!" I protest as my forehead connects painfully with the small of his back.

"Oops, sorry Lils." He says, not sounding sorry at all.

"Put me down!"

"Why?"

"You cheater!"

"Cheat? Cheat? I don't cheat. I win artfully."

I mock frown and bag my fists against his back. Oh, how delightfully muscled he is. I'm tempted to run my hands all over him.

"Yes, you cheat." I say

"I do not."

"How do you explain this then?" I feel so proud of myself. Now I've got him trapped.

He stiffens. "Err…"

In front of us, Sirius giggles. "Oh, how cute, Jamsie-poo is blushing. Embarrassed that you can't seem to keep your hands off of her, aren't you Prongs?"

I raise my eyebrows. Blushing, eh? For some odd reason that just makes my heart flutter a bit.

_It's called love, Lily._

Right.

"So," Gilda starts as he James gently set me down, but keeps his arms around me.

His cheeks are still tinged faintly pink, and he's biting his lip.

I feel tempted to throw my arms around him and snog him until he-

NO. Bad Lily.

He probably doesn't even like you Lily.

_Um….are you okay? _

Yes, why?

_Have you seen how he treats you? He's got feelings for you. Many, many feelings. An abundance of feelings. _

Friendly feelings Ralph, they're just friendly.

_You know what? I'm not going to argue with you. First you're in denial that you love him. After I finally convince you that you don't hate him, you insist that he doesn't love you. Are you going to make me go through the whole process again?_

Process?

_Of convincing. _

I don't need convincing.

_He loves you Lily. Why can't you see that?_

You don't have proof.

_Sure I do. Six years he's been chasing you. Isn't that proof enough?_

No. They were just games.

_No, they-_

Just shut up Ralph.

_Wh-_

I SAID, SHUT UP.

_No. Listen to me for once. _

I always listen to you.

_No! You never listen!_

Yes, I do.

_Prove it. _

…Fine.

"Um." I say, looking down at James hands, which are still wrapped around my waist.

He blinks once, startled, and then immediately lets go of me as if I gave him an electric shock.

"Oh, right. Sorry." He says, blushing a deeper red than I thought was possible.

"It's fine." I breathe out, stepping back to join Gilda and the other girls near the back of the awning.

I find them snickering to themselves.

"What's funny?" I ask, confused.

"You." Jennifer says.

"Me?"

"More accurately, you and James." Sophia giggles.

"Huh?"

"Get a move on, lovebirds. Seriously."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demand of her.

"C'mon Lily. It's not that hard to see. You're in _love._"

"Am not!" I blush my signature shade of scarlet.

"Why the blush then?" Gilda joins in, raising her eyebrow and quirking the corner of her mouth.

"For the love of Merlin, Gilda, don't you start too." I say, gesturing to her boys with my thumb, who are close enough, but are engaged in their own hushed conversation. Except for James. He seems to find it entertaining to watch the rain pour in icy sheets across the city.

"But you clearly-"

"Shut up."

"Bu-"

"_Shut up." _I hiss, shooting her a murderous look.

She jerks back, looking frightened. "Okie dokie!" She says all too brightly.

* * *

"I'm bored."

"I _know_ Padfoot. But what else d'you want to do? It's raining." James says exasperatedly for seems to be the millionth time.

"Let's dance." Sirius suggests.

"Sirius, don't be stupid. We'll get wet and catch cold." Remus pipes in this time.

"Well, we can't get any wetter than we are now." Sirius pouts, "I feel like a wet dog."

"You smell like a wet dog too mate, it's okay."

I snort a little to myself, catching the hidden joke.

"Anyways," Remus continues, "If we're going to go out there again, we're better off doing something productive like running back to the hotel rather than dancing."

We all pause, running the idea over in our heads.

"Huh. That's actually not a bad idea." Gilda says.

Remus's eyes go wide. "I was joking."

"Yes, but we've been under here for-" I glance down at my watch, "over half and hour. We don't really know when the rain's going to stop, and it'd be better if we got a little more wet then found dry clothes rather than staying here for Merlin knows how long and actually becoming sick."

"I guess so." Remus says, shrugging.

"Yay! Let's go then!" Sirius squeals, clapping his hands. And with that, he sprints of into the rain in the direction where we came from, yelling like a madman.

That's all the encouragement the rest of us need. We take of into the icy shower, laughing as we try not to lose sight of Sirius.

* * *

"So you're trying to tell me," James says, astonished as he holds up on of the hotel telephones, "that when I use this-this…fellytone-"

"_Telephone_." I correct.

"Right." He glances at me quickly, and then looks at the small white telephone with a mixture of delight and surprise. "So when I press _this_ button, it'll call room service, and it'll bring us _food?"_

Isn't he so cute?

"Well, it'll call someone, and you'll tell them what you want, and they'll send it up, but yeah, that's the idea."

His face lights up like someone just told him that Christmas came early. "Brilliant! Hogwarts should get more of these!"

I shake my head to myself, silently laughing. I don't bother trying to explain to him that the telephone's main purpose isn't to bring you food.

Last night, after we'd gotten inside from the rain, we had all camped out in the girl's room, (since it was much cleaner and did not carry the foul odor that the boys had managed to bestow upon their room in a few short hours) nibbling on snacks and trying to make do with muggle playing cards and chess sets. Although, chess very quickly was removed from our "Things to do in a Muggle City Hotel While it Pours Outside Like There's No Tomorrow" list, as in the very first match, Sirius had become frustrated that the playing pieces did not move at his command, and had thrown the set at the wall, destroying it.

We'd spent most of the night sitting in a circle in our small sitting area, telling each other scary stories to accompany the crashing sound of thunder and the constant patter of rain on the windows.

Now, morning had come and we're hungry and out of things to do.

"I'm bored." Sirius says once more, lying with his head in Gilda's lap. "Why won't it stop raining? I want to go out!" He complains.

"If you really want to go out there and catch your death Padfoot, then by all means, be my guest." Remus says, not looking up from his card game with Sophia.

Sirius makes an impatient noise. "But-" he starts rather loudly, but is interrupted by James.

"Quiet for a minute Pads, I'm trying to get us some food." James hisses, lying on his stomach, ankles crossed, the phone receiver pressed up to his ear.

"How-"

"Shhhhhhhh!" His brow furrows in a look of adorable concentration. "Hello? Yes…. hi…d'you think you could bring up some food? …Room number…err…"

He looks at me desperately.

"Ten fifteen," I mouth.

He relaxes. "Ten fifteen…yes…. breakfast…. err…what d'you have?"

He pauses, listening to the obviously very long list of breakfast menu items. "Erm…you think we could have it all? Yes…fifteen minutes…alright…. thanks a lot…bye!" He slams the receiver down, grinning from ear to ear.

"Guess who jut got us a breakfast feast?"

"Is it going to come through the fellytone?" Peter asks curiously, eyeing the white object.

"I don't know." James answers honestly.

"Through the door, idiots." Gilda says, rolling her eyes.

* * *

"Oomph." Peter groans, clutching his stomach, "I don't feel well."

James moans from his spot on the floor behind me. "Don't feel too special Wormtail. We all feel ill."

I lean back against one of the armchairs, rubbing my belly. "Remind me to decline the offer the next time you challenge me to a waffle eating contest Gilda." I shoot her a mocking glare.

She grins at me. "But it was well worth it Lily. They were delicious."

Thanks to James, the employees had brought up every breakfast item they could think of, and to not be too rude, we had attempted to eat it all.

"I'm b-" Sirius starts once more before Remus cuts him off.

"Sirius, if you even think about saying he word 'bored' I will make sure that you will never be able to talk again." He hisses.

"But I am!" Sirius protests.

"Well what do you suppose we do?" Remus shoots back, "It's still pouring out." He points towards the windows.

Sirius only glares at him.

"I know!" Gila suggests brightly. "You could all show us your different animagus forms! I mean, we know what Sirius is, but what about the rest of you?"

"Animagus?" Sophia says in surprise, while the Jennifer blurts out, "_Illegal_ animagus?"

"Gilda! That was a secret!" Sirius says in mock horror.

She only shrugs. "It's no big deal."

"Wait, wait. You haven't answered my question. Illegal?" Jennifer pipes up.

"Erm," The four boys look at each other, "Yes."

Her eyebrows shoot up.

"Impressive!" Sophia says, "Let's see!" She turns to Remus. "What's your form?"

"Me? Oh no. I don't have one. I'm not stupid enough."

She looks slightly disappointed, but continues. "Well, let's see them then!"

The three boys look at each other again. "Can't hurt." James says, and makes a motion towards standing up.

"Whoa mate. Let's make this a little fun." Sirius holds him back, "We'll hide, and they'll have to _guess _who we are."

James considers him for a second, then nods, smirking. He pulls Peter along with them, and they disappear into the little alcove where the bathroom should be.

A moment later, a rather large dog bounds out, tongue lolling out, panting. He jumps on Gilda, who shrieks. "Sirius, get off of me!"

He obeys, but only after he licks her face.

"Ew." She says, "Gross."

Sophia bursts out laughing. "Of _course_ that would be Sirius."

I join in giggling.

In my temporary distraction, I don't notice that a rather large creature has come up next to me.

I turn in surprise, only to see that a magnificent silvery stag is staring at me with strange, oddly human-like hazel eyes.

Careful not to hit me with any antlers, he comes forward and gently nudges my cheek with his nose.

A blast of heat travels through me, warming me.

I gently rub his soft coat as he nuzzles my neck.

"James?" I whisper, and he nudges me a little harder in response, but still gently.

I'll take that as a yes.

"Prongs, stop groping her." Sirius says, back in his human form and holding a squealing rat by the end of his tail.

James promptly turns back into his human form, glaring at his best friend. "I was _not _groping her."

"In stag-world you were."

Sigh.

James, and his games. He really shouldn't lead me on like that.

_Uh, Lily?_

I mean, even if he was just being friendly-

_LILY._

What?

Seven pairs of eyes snap in my direction.

….Did I say that out loud?

_Yes._

Shit. Shit. Crap. Shit. Shitty crap. Crappy shit.

"_What?"_ James whispers quietly.

I look at him. Bad idea. His eyes are filled with pain. Oh no.

"Um." I say, at a loss for words.

"Is that really what you think this is Lily?" He says, almost as if he's fighting to keep his voice under control. "A _game? _You think it's all a GAME?" His voice rises to almost a shout.

This is new. Never has he once lost his temper with me.

"Six years Lily! Six years! You think I'm just pretending? If I was, why would I keep it up for SIX YEARS? Dammit, Lils, for such a smart person you're exceptionally closed minded. Why do you refuse to believe my feelings? Because you think I'm pretending? Well, I'm not! What kind of a person do you think I am? Why would I waste my time chasing girl who I was not in love with for half my life? Haven't I already proved to you that I'm not that type of person? I'm not going to force you to feel the same, hell, I wouldn't expect you to feel the same! But the least you could do is accept it, and not push it around like it doesn't exist!" He's breathing hard, as if his speech is taking a physical toll on him.

"I should've listened to everyone that told me you would shatter my heart and that I should let you go. I didn't think it could happen, but congratulations, Lily. You finally got what you wanted. You can expect me to not bother you again." He finishes in a hiss, his beautiful eyes flashing, anger seeming to roll off of him in waves.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Why did I say that? I've screwed everything up.

There goes any chance I had before. He probably hates me now.

The room is deadly silent. So quiet that I can hear the rain hitting the windows.

Uh oh.

James abruptly stands up, refusing to meet my eyes. "I need some air." He says curtly, and leaves the room without another word.

Shit. Shit. Bugger. Shit.

_You've really screwed up now._

Damn it! What now?

_Go after him._

What? No. He hates me now. D'you think he'll forgive me in time? What's the chance that this is all a nightmare?

I sit in silence, looking at the door that he slammed shut just a few seconds before.

Everyone is staring at me with mixed expressions of sympathy and slight anger.

"Lily." Sirius says in a dramatic stage whisper, "This is the part where you run after him."

The others nod in agreement.

I blink at him.

_You heard the man Lily. Now GO!_

Right. I snap out of my daze and scramble out of the room, hoping with all my heart that he hasn't gotten too far.

_Run, Lily, RUN._

* * *

**A/N: Ooooh, what's gonna happen next?**

**I can already feel the anger rolling off of everyone. I really am sorry. I really didn't have an excuse to take so long to update. Please forgive me? Words cannot even begin to describe how ashamed and guilty I feel. For the people still reading, thank you. And for the people pissed off, please forgive me. I will give you chocolate and ice cream if you do. But one a good note, this was the second to last chapter. I've already drafted the last chappie, and I'll post it by the end of the week. Tell me what you think! Reviews are love! Show me some love people! **


	22. Happy Subconscious

**DISCLAIMER: For the last time, I own none of this. Except for Ralph. Ralph is mine. None of you can have her. **

**Chapter 22**

**Happy Subconscious **

My feet make muffled thumps on the carpeted hallway as I dash towards the elevators.

Bloody hell. Bloody Hell. What have I done Ralph?

_You tell me._

I screwed up, didn't I? I really really screwed up, didn't I?

_Very much._

Now what?

_How about you find him first?_

Right. Right.

I pause in front of the elevator buttons. Up or down?

_Down, Lily, down. Didn't he say he needed air?_

I knew that.

I jam the down button several times, secretly hoping that the more I push it, the faster it will come.

_It's not so secret._

What did I say about listening to my thoughts, Ralph?

_How can I just not listen to your thoughts when I EXIST in your thoughts?_

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

I run out the front doors of the hotel and into the rain, dodging worried glances from the people around me.

They must think I'm crazy.

_They don't think, they know._

Would it kill you for once to just NOT TALK?

_I don't talk. I think. There is a difference. _

You know what I mean!

_I'm trying to lighten then mood._

Well don't.

_He went left, Lily, not right._

What?

_He went the other way._

I turn my head to the opposite direction from where I'm going to see that a very wet James is in fact stalking in the opposite direction, head down, hands in his pockets.

How did you know that?

_I had a feeling. _

So I see you're not totally useless Ralph.

_I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you say that._

I sprint back the way I came from, but not fast enough apparently, because I've lost him.

Bugger. Where'd he go? Is he actually that fast?

I push my soaking hair out of my face, blinking rainwater out of my eyes.

I stop in my tracks, and quickly scan the thin crowd around me. Most people are hunched down underneath umbrellas, walking quickly to get where they're going and to get out of the rain.

_In the alleyway, in the alleyway._

You're like my personal map, Ralph.

I peek into the alley beside the hotel, and sure enough, there he is sitting on the cold asphalt with his back to the wall and his head in his arms.

Oh no. No. No. No. What now?

_Are you actually that stupid. Talk to him!_

Well what do I say?

_You'll know._

But-

_Hurry Lily. Every second that you waste he grows more and more distant from you._

I walk forward to where he's sitting.

"James. James?" I kneel down beside him.

He raises his head. "What-" he starts but I don't let him finish.

"I'm really, _really _sorry." I start in a rush, "I had no idea. It's just that for the past six years, I felt that that you were only after me because I was the only thing you couldn't have, and that you wouldn't feel satisfied until you had me as well, and I didn't really ever think about it because I didn't feel anything for you and you were arrogant and cocky and everything that I wanted nothing to do with and-"

"Lily." He cuts me off, and thankfully, his voice has lost the anger and frustration it held before. But he sounds extremely tired, as if he's just ran for three days without any sleep. "When was I ever with any other girl that you think I just wanted to feel that I had everything?" He says not unkindly, but with none of the warmth that he's had for the past couple of months.

I rack my brains, thinking. Let's see…

_You were asking for it you know. Walked right into a trap, that's what you did. _

Shut it for a minute. AHA!

"Lena McAvoy." I say after a moment's pause, "You were very openly snogging her last year in the common room."

His brow furrows, thinking. Then he shakes his head. "That was a dare. Sirius was tired of me moping around about you so he said the only reason I was obsessed was because I'd never been with any other girls. Then he dared me to snog her. And you know the rest." He finishes with a shrug.

"And?"

"And nothing. I felt nothing."

Awwwww, he does love me…

This is all my fault. If only I'd noticed him earlier, we wouldn't be in this situation. We could be happily frolicking in green fields and catching up on snogging and-

_Focus Lily, focus._

Right.

"But," he continues, "You know something? I've been thinking. You're right to feel that way. I shouldn't have treated you like property, or done all those things to boys who showed any interest in, or insisted that you had feelings for me when you really didn't. I was wrong to assume that you could just accept me. So…let's just put this all behind us, alright?"

What?

WHAT IS HE SUGGESTING?!

He takes a deep breath. "Let's just be friends. It's better that way." He sounds a little more hopeful, but his eyes are still sad; pained.

AFTER ALL OF THIS HE WANTS TO BE JUST FRIENDS?

"I can't promise that I'll get over you, or fall out of love, but I can promise that I won't let my feeling get in the way. But some things just aren't meant to be, right?"

NO, IT IS MOST DEFINITALEY MEANT TO BE.

_Well, first of all, he's convinced that you don't love him. Why don't you start by telling him how you feel?_

I WILL NOT STAND THERE AND BE HIS FRIEND WHEN ALL I WANT IS TO PIN HIM AGAINST THE WALL AND SNOG HIM SENSELESS AND MARRY HIM AND HAVE HIS NEAR-SIGHTED CHILDREN AND-

"Lily?" He's still waiting for my answer.

"No." I say quietly, and looking at the my hands on my lap, curl them into fists.

He stiffens. "Well then. I sup-" He makes a move to stand up, but I catch his arm and pull back down.

"Wait. That's not what I meant." I don't look at him. I'm afraid of what I'll see if I do.

"Then what is it?" his voice is soft and dejected. He sounds like he wants nothing more than to run far, far away, somewhere where he'll never see me again.

This is the part where I tell him that I'm madly in love, isn't it?

_It most definitely is. So exciting!_

Here goes nothing.

I take a deep breath. "I don't want to be just your friend James. I _can't _be just your friend, because I don't have friendly feelings towards you. You think that I don't have feelings for you and that we're not meant to be. But that's where you're wrong. I do. I really, really do. I have for so much longer that I knew. I've honestly begun to doubt if I've ever really hated you, because I don't think it's possible to go from hating someone to having to physically strain myself from jumping you and snogging you senseless and _that's _why I can't be just your friend because friends don't feel that way about each other, they're not supposed to want to do inappropriate things or have each other's children or-"

"YEAH PRONGSIE! GET THE GIRL!" A very familiar voice shouts from above us.

I look up and realize that our hotel room window was facing the alleyway, and that Sirius was probably watching us the whole time.

I'd been leaning close to him, and my long wet hair was shielding his face so the idiot Marauder probably thought there was more than meets the eye.

Sirius is hanging out the window, rain pouring on him as he waves his arms in excitement.

Suddenly, an arm yanks him back inside. "Sirius, you can't peek on people when they're having a private conversation." Remus voice drifts to us from above.

"But-" his protest is cut off as Remus slams the window shut.

"So." I look down again to see that James is looking at me. His face is serious, but there is a spark in his eyes that wasn't there before. "You were saying?"

"Um."

_SAY IT. SAY IT. SAY IT AND MAKE ME A HAPPY CONSIENCE. _

"I love you." I whisper. I look down as I say it, afraid to see what his reaction might be.

"I know that it's probably too late and you've given up on me," I start, playing with the frayed hem of my jeans, "But I just thought you deserved to know."

Silence.

Why isn't he saying anything? WHY ISN'T HE SAYING ANYTHING RALPH?

_Patience, grasshopper._

No. No. No. I sniff a little to myself.

His hand catches my chin, lifting it so I'm forced to look him in the eye. "Hey," he whispers, his hazel eyes burning, "It's never to late. And I'd never give up on you. Never in a million years." He leans in close silently dragging his lips across my jaw, leaving a trail of fire behind.

I shiver.

When his mouth reaches my ear, he whispers, "I love you too." His hot breath tickles my earlobe.

My heart soars on the inside. DID YOU HEAR THAT RALPH? HE SAYS HE LOVES ME.

Are those fireworks I see?

His other hand tangles itself into my wet hair before coming to a rest at the back of my neck. Without another word, he leans his head to the side and takes my lips between his.

An explosion of warmth hits me while a beam of momentary sunlight lights up behind my closed eyelids, making me feel like I'm in paradise.

Well. I kind of am in paradise. Screw that fact that it's raining like there's buckets and buckets being poured over our heads. It just makes it more romantic, doesn't it?

I gasp, opening my lips a little, and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

My arms wound their way around his neck on their own accord, and my fingers play with the soft, deliciously messy locks decorating his scalp.

His breath hitches and he moves his hands to his cheek and my waist, pulling me so close that there is physically no more room between us.

So this is really what love feels like, eh Ralph?

_Certainly._

Well don't you sound happy.

_I am very happy. _

James pulls away a little, catching his breath, and I can't help but feel a little disappointed.

I pout.

He laughs, wrapping his arms even tighter around me, if that's even possible.

"I wasn't done with you." I complain.

He leans his forehead against mine. "All in good time, love. You don't want me to suffocate, do you?"

"Only if it means that I'm kissing you." He laughs again, a deep, throaty chuckle before I grab his face and pull his lips to mine again.

He lets out a soft moan and seems delighted by my actions, but pulls away again all too soon, pulling me across his lap and burying his face into my neck.

"So what was it you said about wanting to have my children?"

"Err," I squeak, turning a furious red. "Heat of the moment, you know? I had no idea what I was saying. Didn't mean it. Just forget it happened." I say quickly.

He hums, kissing where my neck meets my shoulder. "Of course." His lips travel their way up my neck and he kisses the corner of my mouth. "But," he breaths, "If you were to mean it, you know what I would say?"

"What?" I whisper, closing my eyes.

I can feel him smile against my skin. "I would say that I would be _delighted_ to put Potter as the name of Lily Evans's children."

I giggle, and he kisses my forehead once before laying his cheek on top of my head.

I happen to look up at the grey sky for a moment, and give a double take.

The sky isn't grey anymore. Well, one part isn't.

Two golden animals, much like patronesses, gallop across the empty air before meeting in what it clearly and embrace.

A doe and a stag. The doe has strange green eyes, and as if she can read my thoughts, she turns her head and gives me a look, part haughty, part kindness.

I have a feeling I know who that is.

Ralph?

_Hello again, Lily._

If the doe could smile, she just did, before going back to her stag mate.

Got what you wanted?

_Yes. Now stop distracting me. I'm busy._

Of course you are.

"Lily?" James asks.

"Mmmmm?"

"Aren't you cold?"

"Not as long as I have you." I say quietly. And it's true. It's like there is a fire everywhere where our bodies touch. I can't possibly be old.

"That was cheesy, Lils."

"I know."

"Lils?" He says again a moment later.

"Yeah?"

"What are you thinking about?"

I smile into his neck. "I didn't think it was possible to be so madly in love."

A pause, and then he pulls me in for another kiss, long and sweet.

"I love you too Lily, more than you'll ever know."

I smile against his mouth, because for the first time in my life, I think I'm truly happy. I'm not worrying about classes, or Petunia and my parents, or even the war that is coming.

Love fixes everything, doesn't it? Or, at least, puts a damper on it.

Ralph?

_Yesssss?_

Thank you.

And even though I can't see her, I can feel her smile. Because after all, she is my subconscious.

**A/N: Waaaaaaaaah! I honestly can't believe this is over. It's been my baby of a sort for the past couple of years, and I have to thank all of you for reading, commenting, following, loving, etc. You guys kept me going. I really hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Ta-ta, dear readers, and for the last time, tell me what you think!**


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